Chi to Ase to Namida
by Akuma no Tsubasa
Summary: pre-game AU, YAOI, Cloud, Zack, and Sephiroth-centric; includes the Turks. Is now dark, contains character death. COMPLETE! (I have been waiting SO long to say that!)
1. In the Beginning

Yo, minna!  Little notes here.  This is my first fic posted, so be easy on flames.  I will take comments, suggestions, and critiques, though.  This fic is, of course FFVII.  It happens pre-game and centers around Cloud, Zack and Sephiroth.  Consider it AU if you want.  This may go all the way up to the game, actually, so stay tuned.  Oh, yeah!  It's also yaoi in later parts, and may or may not get explicit, so, if ya don't wanna read it, don't!  I rated it a little high, I think, but later it may get bad, so I want to be safe.  Enjoy!   (the title means 'blood, sweat, and tears)

/_...../ is character thoughts_

Cloud was officially **pissed.**

            /_Too little?  Too **little!?/  Cloud raged mentally.  It had not been a good day.  He had gone in for the stage one, two, and three SOLDIER tests, and all they had had to say to him by the end was that he was 'too little'.**_

            Thus, he was pissed.

            Cloud was capable of positively volcanic rages, which sent all nearby scrambling for cover.  Right now, however, he was beyond volcanic;  now his rage had crystallized into something very much like ice, or cold, hard steel.

            Most people have an instinctive sense of what is dangerous, and, as Cloud padded near noiselessly into the Shinra Military gym he frequented, peoples' danger senses started kicking right in.  Some didn't even realize they were making space for him, sidling away from his cold, silent fury.  Others knew exactly what they were doing as they nervously moved to the other side of the gym.  Those few without any sort of danger sense just followed their friends.  Fortunately, none were stupid enough to hang around.  Cloud might have done something that would have left a permanent black mark on his record.

            The only thing that Cloud actually enjoyed about being in this state was the sense of complete focus that came with it.  He could actually do something constructive with his anger, instead of letting it run off with him, like it did when he got into a burning rage.  Cloud figured that he should now focus that energy into making sure he didn't get turned down next time.  It would be a minimum of five years before he was allowed to retest, and that was only if he got lucky.  If he'd had some influence, one, he wouldn't have been turned down so easily, and two, he could have gone in tomorrow to retest.  Cloud sighed.

            At least five years would give him time for his shortness to resolve as best it would.

            Cloud was only fourteen, and a bit short for his age to boot.  He'd just come from Nibelheim that very year.  Truth be told, he wasn't even supposed to be in the military, anyway, to say nothing of SOLDIER.  He was **supposed to be learning the sciences so he could follow in his long dead father's footsteps to become a scientist.  Cloud's excuse to his mother had been that, since everything in Midgar went through Shinra, and the Shinra military offered free schooling and scholarships for college level training, the Shinra military was the place to be, since he was tight on funds.**

            Not that that had made his mother any happier.

            Nor did it excuse trying to enter SOLDIER.

            Cloud sighed and walked over to the weight rack and picked up a couple weights.  He didn't care what weight, just so long as they were big and both the same size.  He started lifting them in all the patterns he knew, concentrating on strengthening his arms for the time being.  For some reason, the idiots who ran the Shinra military thought that a huge and well-developed upper-body was what a soldier needed.  

            Cloud knew he would **never be hugely muscled.  Just didn't have the genes.  Even more distressingly, to his instructors, anyway, most of his musculature was in his legs.  Cloud was fairly well defined for someone of his age, but he didn't concentrate on definition.  Actual strength and speed were what really mattered.  And Cloud had another critical flaw.**

            He was unwilling to give away the advantages he **did have.**

            The Shinra military was of fairly uniform height, talents, and strength.  Power and uniformity were what counted.  Cloud knew he could never be just like everyone else.  He was short, and probably always would be, was more a balanced to fast type of fighter in hand-to-hand, preferred blades to guns...hell, even his **hair refused to be normal.**

            He just did not fit with Shinra.  At least not with the regular troops.  In SOLDIER, differences were allowed.  Sure, there was a uniform, but if you got really highly ranked, you didn't have to wear it.  In the Turks, differences were actually **encouraged.  They were so small and self-contained, that they needed people of all sorts, who were really good at what they did.  For a while, Cloud had been seriously contemplating abandoning his dream of entering SOLDIER in favor of trying to join the Turks.  Cloud had even met their newest member, Reno, who was barely three years older than he.**

            But, in the end, Cloud had been unable to give up his dream.  Not to mention, there was the little matter of that promise to Tifa.  He really didn't like breaking promises, if he could help it.  He had agreed to it mainly to get her to shut up with her whines of "Promise me!", and because she'd bemused him with her desire to be saved at least once in her life.  And, he guiltily admitted to himself, because he wanted her to notice him.

            Cloud loved his hometown, especially when thinking about it from dirty old Midgar.  But his life there had been anything but happy.  His mother and father had come from outside Nibelheim.  His father had only known of the place because of his involvement in what his mother called the Jenova Project.  Since they were 'outsiders', the town's folk had always regarded them with a sort of mistrust.  His mother was scorned when she'd arrived there, heavy with child and no husband with her.  Even when his father had arrived, they were looked down upon by the villagers.  Especially after Cloud's father had died when he was four.  And since Cloud's parents were outsiders, why, Cloud was an outsider, too.  Everything that happened wrong in the town was pinned either on his mother or on him.  Mainly him, since his mother was an adult and capable of defending herself.

            Cloud still remembered the beating Tifa's father had given him for allegedly causing the bridge to break and sending Tifa into that seven day coma.  The man had just wrapped the chain around his hand and beaten Cloud to a pulp, then cursed him for being 'inhuman' and not crying in pain or remorse for Tifa's injury.  Cloud had limped home to nurse his injuries, and sworn not to cry before anyone, just to spite the man.

            Which was why he was furious now instead of bawling his eyes out.  Cloud now knew how disappointment and shattered dreams tasted.

            Bitter.  Truly.

            Now, Cloud decided, would be a good time to distract himself from that train of thought.  Before he really did break his promise to himself.  Especially with so many witnesses.

            /_Something mind-numbing./ he thought to himself./__That's what I need.  Something even worse than weights, that still requires enough concentration that I can't really think anymore./  He put the weights down and crossed to a clearer space of floor to do the most mind-numbing thing he knew of._

            Jumping rope.

            It was a good exercise for one who wanted to work up or maintain his foot speed and agility, but it was boring as hell.  Cloud was often skipping rope, a side effect of being unwilling to give up the natural advantage in agility and speed his size and body type gave him.  He also practiced running, sprinting, vertical jumps, stationary long jumps, running jumps, anything.  He lifted weights, too, and used more kicking than most when fighting hand-to-hand.  He had to make up his reach disadvantage somehow!

            Cloud's rope jumping got faster and faster as he went, until it was as fast as he could go, and still he pushed himself to do it a little faster, to land a little more lightly.

            As he was about to wrap up for the evening, secretly wishing he could do this all night so he wouldn't have to think, he felt someone intrude into his personal space.  As the rope landed on that pass he let go of one handle and spun the rope around in front of him, until the loose handle came to meet its mate in the other hand, and he turned to face whoever-it-was, brandishing the rope like a whip.

            A pair of eerily glowing silvery blue eyes met his.  The glow and the uniform the man was wearing registered immediately in Cloud's mind.  /_A SOLDIER!!!!/  his mind shouted in shock, though none of it made it to his face or voice._

            "Yes?"  Cloud asked politely.  "Can I do something for you....sir?"  It was all he could do to abort his mind's attempt to go into emergency shut-down.  As it was, he wanted to run.  Excuse himself and run from this person who obviously **had been good enough to make it in.**

            The man smiled at Cloud.  No, not smiled, **grinned, a wide lazy grin, like that of one of the Nibel Wolves that lived near Cloud's hometown.  Cloud felt a shock of terror, but the predatory nature behind that smile was not predatory as Cloud kept seeing around him.  Fortunately.  Since this man was a SOLDIER, Cloud doubted he'd be able to fight off the man if he was really ****interested in him...**

            Cloud pulled out of his thoughts just in time to hear the SOLDIER speak.  "Naw.  I just wanted to see what has all the guys around here so agitated.  Some guy ran outta here a few minutes ago lookin' scared half to the Promised Land!"  The man's smile got bigger.  "And now I come in here to find a guy in a normal trooper's uniform, skippin' rope like most of my SOLDIER buddies can't."

            Cloud shrugged, wishing he felt half so nonchalant as the other guy seemed.  "Just had some extra energy to burn," he replied coolly, turning his back on the SOLDIER to put away the rope and hoping the guy would just **take the friggin' hint.  **

            He seemed to for a time, then asked, "You that fast in a fight?"

            Cloud again shrugged.  "I guess."

            "You any good with a sword?  Or with anything other than a gun?"

            Cloud sighed.  "Yeah, I'm pretty good with a broadsword, I guess.  What's that got to do with anything?"

            The man looked at him and his eyes were serious, despite the joker's grin.  "Actually, I'm lookin' for another sparring partner.  Got one already, but he's more a power guy.  Quick and all, but I want a fast partner, who fights like one.  You should fit the bill, quite nicely!"

            Cloud shook his head.  "Why don't you just get one of your 'SOLDIER buddies'?  They can't all be power fighters."

            The other smirked.  "'Cause."

            Cloud's eyebrow twitched upwards very slightly.  How did this guy know exactly what to say to pique his interest?  Argh!  But he couldn't lose his cool, not now.  "So, what's in this for me?  Sounds perfectly fine for you, but potentially very dangerous for me.  What, am I gonna get Hazardous Duty pay?"

            The man flipped a lock of his long, spiky, black hair over his shoulder.  "Well, ya get into the SOLDIER sector, ya get to practice with SOLDIERs, best training out there if you're tryin' to make it into it, whatever, I guess."

            Cloud smiled bitterly.  "The practice would have been tempting yesterday, but I got five years 'til I can try out again, as of today."

            Cloud could have sworn he saw the man's smile falter.  "Oh, well.  Just help ya make sure ya get in next time."

            Cloud shrugged.  "Well, I guess I'll do it.  I could really go for a good fight about now."

            "Cool," the black-haired man said.  "When d'ya wanna start?"

            Cloud cocked his eyebrow, exaggeratedly high, this time.  "Well, my schedule's not precisely predictable most of the time, so I don't know."

            The other seemed to consider for a moment.  "How 'bout I give you my number and you can call me when you find out anything.  Is that okay?"

            Cloud shrugged.  "Fine.  Who shall I ask for?"

            "Oh, sorry!  I forgot to tell you my name.  I'm Zack.  If you call this number," and Zack handed Cloud a piece of paper he'd been scribbling on, "you'll get either me or my roommate.  Try and be nice to him.  He usually has a stick up his ass, but he's my friend, and if you really **are gonna be my sparring partner, you'll be seen' him pretty often."**

            Cloud nodded even as he filed away the fact that, whoever these two were, they were important enough, or rich enough, to have their own private phone for their room, instead of the barracks' common phone.

            The man smiled again, only this time it seemed more...something.  Cloud didn't know.  "You have me at a disadvantage, here.  You know my name, but I don't know yours."

            Cloud nodded.  "I'm Cloud.  Cloud Strife."  He stuck out his hand, and Zack took it in a firm handclasp.  Just then, a soldier from Cloud's own company ran up.

            "Hey, Strife!  There you are!  Dude, I been looking all over for you.  I know you were at SOLDIER testing all day, but we got early drills tomorrow!"  The excited private was maybe two years older than Cloud, but he acted much younger than he.  The private scowled suddenly.  "Man, the Captain is intent on nailing your ass to the wall, Strife.  He did this shit on purpose to catch you out, I bet.  What'd you do?"

            Cloud shrugged.  /_Turned him down, that's what I did./  "Not sure.  Thanks for the warning, Ray."  The private smiled blindingly that Cloud knew what he liked to be called, his real name was Ricardo, and took off again.  Of course, Cloud knew lots about everyone in his company; information was, after all, power, and after all the grief Cloud had taken from people, he liked to know where he was most likely to get it from so he could defend himself effectively._

            Cloud turned back to Zack.  "See?  Unpredictable.  Gotta go, if I don't want to be cranky all tomorrow.  I'll call you."

            Zack nodded and left.  As did Cloud, after a quick dive through the rain locker.  As he lay in bed, listening to nine other men snoring and waiting for sleep to claim him, he wondered again what a SOLDIER was doing looking for sparring partners in the general population of Shinra troopers.  He didn't buy that story about needing a fast partner at all.  He knew more about the process of making SOLDIERs than that; his father had been involved in that, too, and Cloud had studied his notes.  Even an only moderately fast man could become super fast with Mako enhancement.  So, why....?

            Cloud's thoughts trailed off as he fell into a restless slumber.

*     *     *

            "Damn it!" Zack cursed as he paced around the room he shared with his roommate.  The other man quirked an eyebrow coolly at him.

            "It **is your fault, you know.  If you had approached him earlier, maybe you would have caught him before he tried to test."**

            Zack whirled angrily.  "Oh, shut up, Seph!  You're only so cool about it because you haven't seen the kid, and don't know what a valuable asset he'd be to us!"

            The pale eyebrow cranked higher.  "Am I not **always cool about things?"**

            Zack blinked, then grinned sheepishly.  "Yeah.  I guess you're right."  Zack's smile melted back into a scowl, and Sephiroth mentally cursed this 'Cloud Strife' for putting his friend in such a mood.  Sephiroth shook his head.

            "What makes you think he'd make such a great SOLDIER?"

            Zack glared.  "Seph, I've only been telling you about him for the past month-and-a- half!"  Sephiroth merely stared at him wearing his typical non-expression, as if to say 'So?  Tell me again.'  Zack rolled his eyes.  "Okay, but **pay attention, this time!"**

            Zack paused, marshaling his thoughts.  "Well, first, he's an extraordinary fighter.  Much stronger than you'd think from just looking at him.  And hella fast, too.  I don't think he's ever gonna have the planet's biggest muscles, or that he's ever gonna be the strongest guy in the Shinra, but he's certainly well above average. I watched his platoon at unarmed combat a couple days ago, and he got paired against this guy that seemed to have all the advantages: taller, stronger, longer reach, and not as slow as you'd expect a guy that size to be.  Cloud won on his wits, his agility and speed advantage, and a healthy dose of luck.  Hell, the kid seems to fairly **summon luck to him.**

            "He's also good at thinking on his feet.  You saw the Shinra war games two months ago."  Sephiroth nodded.  "That sudden reversal?  That was Cloud.  He suggested it to his platoon leader, a Lieutenant Jackson, who went to their company commander to get the OK."

            Sephiroth mulled that over.  In the games, Blue Team had been getting totally trounced by Red Team.  Blue Team had been almost entirely green to semi-green units, whereas Red had had a minimum of new units.  Blue had been cut down to under one-third strength, but a whole platoon suddenly went missing, then popped up in the middle of the enemy camp, and 'assassinated' nearly every officer above a lieutenant, and most of **them, too.  Even though all of that platoon had 'died', the sudden annihilation of Red Team's command structure had given the Blues a chance.  They'd still lost, but at costs that no commander in a real battle would ****ever want to have ****nightmares of paying.**

            Sephiroth frowned.  "Didn't they credit that to Captain Banford?"

Zack nodded.  "Yep.  But who wants to know that their whole team was nearly whiped out by a mere specialist four.  Well, he was a private then.  Not to mention that he was 'KIA' in that action, 'died' with the Lieutenant, leading everyone he could against the whole mess of them.  Banford was the company commander."

Sephiroth nodded.  That made sense.  Still…/_He must have balls of steel to run straight into the enemy camp with that few men!/  Sephiroth nodded.  "If that's true, we could definitely use him."_

Zack smirked.  "That we could."

Sephiroth quirked his eyebrows.  "You mentioned he was a specialist.  In what area?"

Zack frowned.  "I'm not exactly sure.  They're calling it Mako Sciences, but hell if I know what that means."

"Please don't tell me that means he's a specialist in using materia."

"Told ya already, I don't know.  I'll have to ask.  But, I think you'd like the kid."

Sephiroth frowned.  "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Oh, c'mon, Seph!  You know as well as I do, that when you like your troops and get the right chemistry going, you trust them more to get their jobs done, so you don't have to hover, and they're likely to try harder to get things right for you."

"So why should I like him?"

"Because."

Sephiroth bit back a sigh, and conscientiously **didn't roll his eyes.  /_How does he always know exactly what to say to get me curious?/  Then something else caught his attention._**

"Zack?"

"Yeah?"

Sephiroth frowned as he mused on these new thoughts.  "If he's as good as you say…how could he possibly have failed the entrance exams?  Stage four is the test Mako exposure, so it couldn't even have been due to a bad reaction to the Mako.  So what could it have been?"

Zack's scowl turned stormy.  "I don't know," he said.  But his face promised to find out.

*     *     *

_(a week-and-a-half later)_

            Cloud sighed as he stared at the piece of paper in his hand for about the hundredth time that afternoon.  He actually had the whole afternoon and evening off.  Most of the others had headed off to hit the bars and the movies, but Cloud had stayed.  He could probably call Zack, now, and see if they could get in some practice this evening, but now that the opportunity had arisen, he felt decidedly nervous.  He would have to go into the exclusive SOLDIER sector, for the practice, and that felt weird.

            The SOLDIER sector was a separate section of the Shinra's military 'town' on top of the Midgar plate.  It was small, but almost entirely self-contained; SOLDIERs did their own drills, had their own barracks buildings, mess halls, and gyms, even their own after hours clubs.  It was a world of its own.

            It just felt wrong to intrude upon it.

            But Cloud **did want to spar with Zack, to see the place he would probably call home if he ever ****did make it into SOLDIER, to meet Zack's roommate, maybe to make some real friends for the first time in his life.**

            Finally, his mind made up, Cloud headed down to the barracks' phone to place the call.  He entered the nine-digit number and listened to the phone ring…and ring…and ring.  Finally, just as he was about to give up, the phone was finally picked up.

            "Hello?" came the irritated voice from the other end.  The beautiful, rich, baritone, obviously not Zack's, irritated voice on the other end.  Cloud had never heard such a beautiful voice in his whole life.  He wondered if the owner of that voice was half as beautiful as he sounded, and also how Zack could possibly **live with someone that beautiful without doing something very stupid.  Then he just about kicked himself.  /_Because not everyone's as perverted as you are, Strife!/_**

            Apparently, he took just fractionally too long to answer, because the voice came again.  "Hello?"

            Cloud managed to get his voice in working order, and was proud it didn't shake at all.  "Hello.  I am trying to reach Zack, and this is the number I was given.  Is he there?"

            "Hold on a minute," said the Voice.  Cloud could hear him calling Zack.  "Zack!  It's for you!"  A pause.  "No, it's not a girl.  Sounds like a guy, though a little youngish."

Another pause.  "Okay, he's coming," said the voice, this time to him.  Cloud wanted to tell him to forget Zack and just keep talking, but restrained himself.  Then Zack was on the line.

            "Hello?"

            "Hello, Zack?"  Cloud asked, fully expecting not to be recognized.  "It's Cloud Strife."

            "Hey, Cloud!  What's up?"

            Cloud was overjoyed that Zack actually remembered him.  "Nothing, really.  I have all afternoon free, though, and I was wondering if we could have a match."

            Cloud could hear the smile on the other's face as he replied.  "That's great!  It just so happens that I've got this afternoon off, too, and….Hey, you got evening or night duty?"

            "No.  I don't have to report in until oh-seven-thirty, tomorrow."

            "That's even better.  Hey, you live in the standard barracks, right?  Tell me which number, and I'll come pick you up.  Since you don't have a pass yet, you can't just come here.  We'll have to take care of that."

            "It's number G7."

            "Okay.  I'll be there in a bit.  Bring ID and whatever weapons you're gonna be using, 'kay?"

            Cloud nodded over the phone.  "You'll probably have to come right up to number seven, because no one's here.  They all went out to party."  Cloud's lip curled in disgust, though he kept his voice even.

            "Got it.  Be there in a few."  The line went dead, and Cloud hung up the phone.  Then he went back to the room he shared with his squad to get out his beloved sword.

*     *     *

            Sephiroth cocked his head.  "That was him?"

            Zack positively beamed.  "Yup.  You bet!"

Sephiroth frowned.  "He sounded kind of young to me."

Zack rolled his eyes.  "Planet's sake, Seph, he's only fourteen!"

Sephiroth practically exploded.  "Fourteen?!?!  And he's already trying to get into SOLDIER!?  What in the heavens is he thinking!?"

"Now, now, Seph.  You were only fourteen when you entered SOLDIER."  Zack admonished as he raked his hair into some semblance of order.  Well, order for Zack, anyway.

"Yeah, but that's different.  I was practically **raised_ to be a SOLDIER."_**

"So?"

Sephiroth shook his head, knowing he couldn't win this fight.  "Whatever.  Just go pick him up and get him a pass."

Zack smirked.  "Glad you agree.  How about you swing by the gym around, oh, I don't know, seventeen hundred, seventeen thirty.  Then, you can see him for yourself."

Sephiroth nodded.  "I'll try."

"Cool."

And Zack was gone.

*     *     *


	2. A Slimy Bureaucrat and New Friends

Yo, minna!  Many, many thanks to all you lovely souls who reviewed my fic.  I'm gonna try to reply to all of you, if I can.  PLEASE keep bugging me to work on my fic!  I really wanna finish this one and leave no one hanging, 'cause I hate being left hanging myself!  So!  On to the part you all **really came here to see!  _Chi to Ase to Namida, Part two!!!!_**

*     *     *

Cloud swung his sheathed sword to his back, and followed Zack out.  Then he gawked at what Zack had taken to get to Barracks Building G.

That had to be the most **monstrous looking motorcycle he'd ever seen.  It was in beautiful condition and all, but it was ****huge!  And it had spikes.**

Cloud practically drooled.

"He really is somethin', ain't he?"  Zack asked, with a fair amount of pride.  "He's all the transportation I had, today.  My roommate's got our jeep.  Hope you don't mind riding behind.  Or without a helmet.  Didn't think to bring another, curse it."  Truth was, Zack wanted to see what Cloud's reaction would be to going dangerously fast on such a vehicle, without even the minimal protection of a helmet.  So far, he wasn't disappointed.

Cloud shook his head.  "I don't mind," he said, not noticing the hint of breathless reverence that crept into his voice.  He couldn't wait to ride it, to feel all of that power between his legs, to hear the roar of the bike's engine, and the shriek of the wind past him, ruffling his hair.

In a daze, he climbed on behind Zack.  Then his daze evaporated as the engine growled, and Zack started them off.

Zack was paying close attention to Cloud's reactions.  He kept his eyes on the road, but, with Cloud sitting behind him, he didn't need to look at him.  Cloud's hands and arms tensed around him, either in fear or exhilaration.  As Cloud's grip remained tight, Zack became more and more convinced it was fear, which was disappointing.  If Cloud couldn't take a little thing like going fast…

Then Cloud started to laugh.  It wasn't even really a laugh, more a whoop of exultation.  Zack hazarded a quick glance at his passenger, and smiled despite himself at the look on Cloud's face.  The boy was flushed and grinning ear to ear, his spiky blond hair whipping in the wind of their passage.

/_Well,/ thought Zack.  /__I guess I've found something he really likes./  Zack had noticed that Cloud was mostly very withdrawn and emotionally level.  He'd been watching the boy for almost four months, now, ever since he'd caught sight of him coolly rejecting that scummy Captain Banford.  Most normal troopers would swallow their pride and allow the officer to have his way for fear of what he might do to them.  Some would even jump at the opportunity, seeing it as a way to get promotions.  But Cloud had rejected him out of hand, which had sparked an interest in Zack.  But in all those four months of watching, which had been nearly from the week Cloud arrived in Midgar, Zack had seen Cloud only get really emotional a handful of times._

That was what had surprised Zack most about the mood Cloud had been in the night he decided to talk to him.  The only feelings he had seen consistently in Cloud were determination, disdain, and explosive fury.  That cold, unyielding anger had chilled Zack to the core.  It had reminded him almost uncannily of Sephiroth.

/_Great.  Just what I need, two Sephiroths to ride heard on./_

At least he'd found something to help the boy let off steam.  About the only things that helped Seph were a sparring session, a mission, or a meeting with the Shinra executives.  He came back from those either laughing his ass off, or entirely ready to vent his anger by screaming at the top of his lungs, and ranting.

And, of course, there were the infrequent nights when they shared not only room, but bed as well.  They truly were uncommon, but they were good for both of them, and Zack wasn't about to stop them.  Maybe one day when he got a real, honest-to-the-Planet girlfriend, but until then…

And having Cloud being so uninhibited and pressed so tightly to his back was threatening his sanity enough that he might just see if Sephiroth was up for one of their 'sessions'.

/_Joy.  The things I have to suffer through.  Oh, woe is me./  But there was no real heat behind the thought.  Actually, if he'd seen any indication of Cloud leaning that way, he might have been tempted to try, despite the boy's age.  In Midgar, you grew up quick, or not at all.  Cloud might have come from Hickville, but he'd survived this long, and always seemed much older than he really was.  Besides, there was only a seven year age difference between them…._

/_Aw, man!  I really gotta stop thinking this shit!/_

*     *     *

Zack sighed and shifted in his chair again.  They had been waiting over an hour to get in to get Cloud's pass.  Zack wouldn't have minded if it hadn't been for the fact that the waiting area was nearly empty.  There was no excuse for it taking an hour to process four people.  And Zack was going to be sure that heads rolled for this.  Efficiency was extremely important in a military installation.  Besides, it would be better for these losers if he was the one to come down on them, than to let Sephiroth hear about it.  Then heads would **literally roll.**

Finally, a skinny, unpleasant man who had tin-pot official written all over him came out.  He sniffled, then began to speak in a decidedly unpleasant nasal voice, which made Zack long to hear Sephiroth's beautiful baritone.  "If you'll just come this way, I guess I have time to handle whatever you want, now."  He pushed his glasses up his skinny nose.

For the time being, Zack quietly followed.  He had been impressed with the patience Cloud had displayed so far.  But Zack was getting very pissed with this slimy scum-bag, and wasn't going to hide it much longer.

"So," said the skinny man in his whiny voice.  "What is it you wanted?"

Zack smiled pleasantly.  "I would like a pass so my friend here can get into the SOLDIER sector."

"Ahem.  Well, I'm very sorry.  Just because you're in SOLDIER doesn't mean I can just give you a pass for your girlfriend, here."

Zack looked at Cloud.  A small muscle twitched in Cloud's eyebrow.  "Excuse me, but I am not his girlfriend."

"Oh, a whore.  Even worse."

Cloud's eyes narrowed dangerously.  His voice when he spoke had dropped an octave, a sure sign of his anger.  "I am one, not a girl, and two, not a whore.  I am Shinra military.  Can you even see my uniform?"

The bureaucrat's hazy eyes widened.  "Oh, terribly sorry for the mix up.  But I'm afraid even a SOLDIER doesn't have the authority to just get you a pass.  There's paperwork, and it all must be done through official channels…"

Zack was getting tired of this, so he decided to pull rank, though he'd wanted to wait until later to spring that on Cloud.  "Do you know who I am?"

The skinny snot waved a hand dismissively.  "All you SOLDIERs are the same; you think you have more power than you do.  I'm sorry, but you're still going to have to do all the paperwork."

Zack shook his spiky head.  "Oh, my.  I think the guys up top will be most displeased with you when they get the report I'm going to give them about your performance here.  An hour to process four people, and you can't even recognize the second highest ranking member of SOLDIER when you meet him face to face."

The skinny man paled, and Zack felt the shock radiate off of Cloud.  "Oh!  Mister Zack!  I apologize for not recognizing you sooner, but it's been such a long day, and you have no idea how much paperwork I have to work through every day…."  the pale-faced, terrified creature gobbled.

"Shut up.  I just want a pass for my friend here."  Zack's voice invited no argument, and the bureaucrat immediately got out the forms for Cloud to fill out.  The boy did them in silence, answering all the questions on the sheet without comment.  Zack wondered if he'd really shocked him that much.

The sniveling petty official took the forms when they were handed back to him, and began transferring the information into the computer.  A few minutes later, he asked Cloud to get up to get his picture taken.  Then, the machine extruded a little card, which Cloud took silently and put in his wallet, and a small metal tag to join his dog tags on their chain.  Then, with a final admonishment from Zack to get their act together, they left.

"Hey, Strife.  Are you okay?"  Zack finally asked as they got out into the parking lot.  Cloud nodded, silently.

"I'm fine.  It was a bit of a shock, but I'd already begun to suspect who you were, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Zack looked at Cloud seriously.  "You still interested in sparring with me?"

Cloud nodded.  "More than ever.  I want to see what the second best SOLDIER is capable of."  And that seemed to settle that.

Zack was just relieved that his rank hadn't scared the boy off.  He breathed a mental sigh of relief as he put his helmet on and climbed onto his bike, Cloud settling in behind him.  Then they took off for the gym.

*     *     *

"Hey, Zack!  What's up?  Ooh, and who's your attractive young companion?"  A SOLDIER in the colors of a third-class SOLDIER and the insignia of a second-class swaggered up with a friendly smile.

Zack smiled in return.  "I see you finally got that promotion, eh, Mac?  And stay away from the kid; he's here to train."

Cloud nodded politely to this 'Mac' person, and followed Zack over to a couple of mats with a ring outlined on them.

"Set your stuff down where ever you like, and lets see that sword of yours."

Cloud did as he was bidden, setting down his wallet and small backpack by the side, handy and where he could see if someone tried to lift something, then unsheathed his sword, setting the scabbard down, too.  Then he turned to face Zack, sword in hand.

Zack's eyebrows shot up as he saw what was in Cloud's hand.  "That's…A real SOLDIERs sword.  Where on the Planet did you get that?"

"Home.  It was my father's."

Zack's eyebrows climbed even higher.  "Your father was a SOLDIER?"

"No."  Cloud shook his head vehemently.

"So, how'd he get it?"

Cloud's face and voice became hard and cold.  "That is none of your concern."

Zack let it drop.  He'd just try some other time, when Cloud had learned to trust him more.  "Well, whatever.  Shall we?" he asked, swinging Buster Sword out of its sheath on his back.

Cloud nodded and crossed to one side of the ring, then fell back into a fighting stance.  Zack analyzed it as he crossed to his position.  It looked like a standard stance, but it had the precision and confidence of one that was well practiced.  It really gave Cloud no real advantages in either offense or defense, being a neutral stance, but upon further inspection, he discovered that it was slightly modified to let Cloud use his speed.

Zack already approved.  He knew the boy couldn't beat **him yet, but he was still pretty good.  Zack nodded that the match had begun, then immediately feinted a quick diagonal slash to the mid-section, then darted sideways for a chop to the ribs…and encountered the flat of Cloud's broadsword as it crushed into his right arm and side, increasing his momentum off to Cloud's right.  Zack shot past his target, but recovered his stance quickly.  He felt the bruising in his arm and side, and knew that, had Cloud used the edge of his weapon, Zack would probably have had to call it quits to see the doctor.**

/_Whoa, he really is good.  And fast, too.  Just what I wanted.  But he's not gonna get so lucky a second time./_

Zack settled in for the match.

*     *     *

Sephiroth noticed the large crowd around the mat on the far side, and **knew it had to be Zack and this 'Cloud Strife'.  He wondered what everyone was staring at; had Zack ****already taken the kid apart?**

He stepped into the crowd, pushing in until he could see.  One of the men beside him, /_was his name Mac?  Or was it Mackie?/, smiled at him._

"Hey, Sephiroth, sir.  Come to see the fun?  Man, I tell you what, that kid is damn good.  He actually hit Zack!  In the first five seconds of the match, no less!"

Sephiroth studied the scene carefully.  There was the familiar figure of Zack in his normal fighting stance, with the Buster Sword at the ready.  And there…

Sephiroth had never been so surprised in his life.  The boy's blond hair was as unruly as Zack's, but even though his mind informed him that this was a fourteen-year-old boy, his eyes didn't believe it.  His, quite remarkable, actually, blue eyes were far too serious, too focused, and his body was so well built!  Height wise, he was pretty short, and despite how well muscled he was, he had bird-like bones, and that was sort of childlike, as was the size of his huge eyes, but there was an air of maturity beyond his years, of tightly leashed power, of rigidly controlled anger…

Maybe he was sort of a child in body, with his height, and proportions.  But in soul…

No, this was definitely not a child.

Then Sephiroth noticed the huge sword in the child-not-child's hands.  A SOLDIER's sword.  "Who gave him that sword?"  Sephiroth asked.

Mac, for it was indeed Mac, shrugged.  "He said that it was his father's, but that his father was not in SOLDIER.  When Zack inquired further, he basically told him to butt out."

Now Sephiroth noticed that it wasn't even a real SOLDIER sword.  It looked like one, but it had a few extra materia slots, and they hadn't been just added on; they were original.  Sephiroth knew SOLDIER swords didn't exactly grow on trees.  He also knew that SOLDIERs had originally been supposed to use much more materia than they did now, evidenced by his own extra slots.  He realized he was looking at an **original SOLDIER weapon.  It had to be as old as he was.  So what was this kid doing with a prototype SOLDIER weapon?**

/_He said he got it from his father… but that his father was not in SOLDIER…/_

Sephiroth's eyes widened.  While they hadn't been exactly handed out, the core scientists working on the SOLDIER projects **had  had the opportunity to acquire parts of the project that had been rejected.  Swords, notes and rights to certain mako treatments, uniforms, armor… Sephiroth realized that Cloud's father had either been one of the core scientists in the projects, or he had been close to one of them.  That meant that Cloud's father probably knew Hojo…**

/_And that could explain why Hojo wouldn't accept him into SOLDIER.  If there's bad blood there, and Hojo recognized either his name or his face…/_

Sephiroth frowned, watching intently for a few minutes.  The boy was looking tired.  Despite his obvious skill, the boy just couldn't match Zack's Mako-enhanced self.  The poor thing was going to be one unhappy soldier when he got up tomorrow.

Sephiroth stepped past the crowd and onto the very edge of the mat, still well clear of the ring.  "Well, Zack, does this mean I have to find myself another sparring partner?"

Both combatants stopped and looked at him, Strife over his shoulder, and Zack past Strife.  "Oh, hey, Seph!  I'm just working out with my new friend here.  You're welcome to try against me anytime."  Zack got a cocky smirk on his face.  "You know I'll run rings around you!"

Sephiroth snorted.  "Not likely."

Zack's smirk grew, before he turned his attention back to Strife.  "Hey, Cloud!  This is my roommate, Sephiroth.  I **know you've heard of him.  Seph, this is Cloud Strife."**

Sephiroth saw a flicker of hero worship in those blue eyes, which was quickly and firmly stamped out.  The boy turned to face Sephiroth, lowering his sword, and releasing it from his right hand.  He stepped forward and extended his right hand toward Sephiroth.  "Hello.  Pleased to meet you, Sephiroth," he said levelly.

Sephiroth usually did not shake hands, but he found himself catching Cloud's hand in a firm grip before he even realized it.  He said nothing, settling on a nod of acknowledgment, and was about to address Zack, when one of the SOLDIERs First-class gasped and shoved in toward Cloud.

"You're Cloud Strife?" he asked, sounding startled.

Cloud looked questioningly at the man.  "Yes.  May I help you?"

The man gasped.  "I'm the one who graded your SOLDIER exam.  Can I assume you've been accepted?"

Cloud scowled.  It was actually quite menacing, if you ignored the fact that Cloud was only 5'3".  "Actually, I was informed same day that I **hadn't been accepted."**

The SOLDIER looked shocked.  "Whoa.  Someone must have fucked up, 'cause you only missed two on the test."

As Zack pursed his lips in a silent whistle, Cloud looked disappointed.  "Two?  I know I missed number twenty-seven, I just **can't figure out the reasoning on that, but where else did I mess up?"**

The man blinked.  "You don't seem to understand.  Your written test score was even better than Sephiroth's!  Okay, so only by one, but still!  How could you have **not made it in?"**

Cloud blinked.  "Better than…?" His eyes slid over toward Sephiroth, who smiled faintly, even though the gears were industriously grinding away inside his head.  It now seemed obvious that someone was trying to block Cloud from making SOLDIER.  /_Well, well, Hojo.  Have a personal vendetta, here?  Not very professional./_

"So why didn't you make it?" the SOLDIER asked.

Cloud shrugged.  "They **said it was because I was too short."**

Sephiroth, Zack, and the other SOLDIER looked at Cloud as if he was stupid.  "What?"  He looked around at them, puzzled.  "What!?"  

Zack shook his head.  "Come on, Cloud.  I think there's someone you ought to meet."

Cloud shrugged.  "Okay."

The small party trooped across the gym to another of the practice mats.  There, a small man, only a little taller than Cloud was sparring with a **small man.  He was actually ****shorter than Cloud was, and wearing the uniform of a SOLDIER Second-class.  Zack looked over at Cloud, expecting to see surprise, at least, maybe even shock.  But Cloud's face had only a small, thoughtful frown on it.**

"I see," he said levelly, then added in a voice that would have been inaudible had they not been Mako-enhanced, "As unscientific as ever, Hojo-sensei."

Zack glanced at Sephiroth, who merely nodded slowly in response to Hojo's name.  Zack looked back at Cloud.  "As you can see, there is no height restriction to get into SOLDIER."

Sephiroth smirked.  "Someone shafted you, Strife."

Cloud shrugged.  "So I got shafted.  Big deal.  It's happened before, and it'll undoubtedly happen again.  Just gotta get used to it, I guess."

Zack sighed.  "Don't get so pessimistic, kid.  It's depressing."

Cloud gave Zack one of his impressive glares.  Zack couldn't imagine what he would glare like once he had Mako eyes.  "**Don't call me 'kid'."**

Zack backed up a step, holding up his hands in a placating gesture.  "Alright, alright!  Lighten up, Spike!"

Cloud cocked an eyebrow.  "'Spike'."

Zack nodded.  "Spike."

Cloud sighed and shook his head.  "Why do I get the feeling that I can't win this one?"

Sephiroth smirked.  "Probably because you can't," he said, but refused to say any more.  Cloud didn't press, settling for thinking wryly /_At least I got the better of the two nicknames./_

Zack smiled.  "Why, thank you, Sephiroth."  The dark-haired SOLDIER turned to Cloud with a cheeky grin.  "Well, why don't we head on over to my place.  I bet, after that workout, you'd probably like a nice shower someplace where you can nurse your bruises in privacy.  After your shocking debut, I think the whole gym's gonna wanna know everything about you.  Yep," he added sagely. "Not a moment's peace around here."

Cloud shrugged.  "Just so long as I'm in the barracks by lights out."

Zack smirked.  "You a boy scout, or something?"

"Nope.  Just can't afford to get any spots on my record right now."

"Aa.  I see."

"I'm glad you do.  It'll make things **so much easier."**

Zack smirked and headed for the door, followed by Cloud.  Sephiroth followed a little behind, thinking.  He was pondering why someone was blocking someone like Cloud, why Cloud seemed to immediately assume it was Hojo (though Zack and Sephiroth thought so, too), and why Cloud had said 'unscientific **as ever'.  Mostly, though, he was wondering how Zack could predict things so well.  Sephiroth did indeed like the teen, already.  He had seen that instant of hero worship, and been worried that, once again, he'd met someone who thought he was a god, but had been more than pleased to see how quickly and completely Cloud had gotten it under control.**

It looked to be the start of a potentially beautiful friendship.

*     *     *

Still interested in my humble attempts at writing?  Keep reading, then, and **_For the love of whoever you believe in, REVIEW!!!  *ahem*  Thanks, minna-san!  
Matta ne!  
Akuma no Tsubasa_**


	3. After the Fight

I'd like to thank all the people who've stuck around through two parts of my fic and are reviewing.  All you newbies….Come on in and welcome to the show!  Feel free to comment, ne?  And as for those who don't review…there's still time 'til I sic Sephy-chan on ya. *clinging tightly to a leash on a collar around Sephiroth's neck.  He's just looking very bored*

I hope you're not bored yet!  You still have to see Home-body Sephiroth!

*     *     *

Cloud followed Zack out into the parking lot.  There was that beauty of a motorcycle, parked just where they had left it, and beside it was a nondescript jeep, that, none-the-less, looked well maintained.  Much more practical transportation…But who the hell wanted **practical?**

            Zack grinned at Cloud.  "So, you wanna take the jeep or the bike?"

            Cloud blinkblinked.  /_You mean I get a choice?  Well, why the hell do you even need to ask!?/  "Heh, heh…Uhm, whatever, I guess," he said, deciding to be courteous._

            Zack smiled.  "Well, why don't you take the bike.  Me and Seph'll take the jeep."

            Cloud's eyes went wide as saucers, and Sephiroth noted that **now he looked his age.  "You mean…You want me to drive it on my ****own?"**

            Zack frowned.  "Well, yeah.  You are checked out on motorcycles, aren't you?"

            Cloud looked a little irritated.  "Of course!  It's just…well, I've got this problem with speed limits.  Put me on anything with an ounce of power, and I just can't seem to stick to the limit.  I don't want to get a ticket on **your bike."**

            Zack grinned.  "Who in their right mind **wouldn't want to speed on a bike like mine?  Besides Sephy here, who drives like an old granny."  Cloud stared at Zack, then at Sephiroth.**

            Sephiroth scowled.  "Do not.  I just save up my road rage for when I really need it, that's all."

            "Yeah, sure.  We believe you."  Zack had that cheeky grin on his face again.  He turned back to Cloud.  "Don't worry 'bout it, Spike.  The limits aren't really enforced here; no MPs.  We determine what dangerous driving is ourselves, here, and, since we're all enhanced, it's a lot faster and wilder than back in the normal sectors.  Speed limits are just suggestions."  Zack smiled sympathetically.  "If you want, you can borrow my helmet…"

            Cloud shook his head vehemently.  "Sharing helmets is like sharing gum: totally disgusting."

            Sephiroth said in an even voice, "I don't see why you even bother with a helmet, Zack.  Your head could withstand a comet crashing into it."

            Zack glared.  "Ha, ha, very funny.  You're just jealous."

            "Of what?"

            Zack paused a moment in thought.  "Damn.  Good question.  Got me that time, Seph."

            Cloud watched this exchange with amusement.  Even though Sephiroth gave the impression that he was as cold as ice and as distant as the stars around other people, and Zack was happy and open with everyone, it was obvious that with Zack, Sephiroth melted a bit, and with Sephiroth, Zack was no longer just casual with his good cheer.

            /_Wow.  They're really good friends, aren't they./  Cloud squashed his jealousy quickly, before it really took root.  Friendship was the one thing that always made him sour, simply because he'd had so little of it.  He didn't want to ruin things with these two already, or ever, for that matter._

            "So, I've got the bike, huh?"  He walked over to the vehicle, inspecting the gauges and controls to make sure he knew where everything was, then turned back to Zack.  "Keys?" he asked.  Zack handed them over, then headed for the Jeep with Sephiroth.  "Hey, Zack?" he asked, and the older man looked over at him.  "Does he have a name?"

            Zack blinked stupidly.  "A…name?"

            "Yeah."  Cloud blushed.  "Well, I mean, a bike like this one should have a name, right?"

            Zack shook his head.  "I never thought of it.  I guess you could name him, if you like."

            Cloud smiled.  "Really?  Thanks!  After I ride him, maybe I'll know what to call him.  Funny.  He has no name, yet he's very definitely a 'he'.  Hmmm."

            Zack shrugged.  "I guess it's because he's so super masculine with all those spikes and that huge engine, and all black and big and tough looking.  It just seems to associate with a more masculine aspect.  Though, when he's being obstinate, 'he' becomes a 'she' for sure."

            Cloud blinked.  "Why?"

            Sephiroth smirked, ever so slightly.  "You'll find Zack's opinion of women is somewhat low."  One of Cloud's eyebrows rose fractionally.  Zack huffed.

            "Aw, c'mon, Seph!  I'm just waiting for the right one.  Besides, they're still alright as friends."

            Cloud was doing a mental double-take.  /_His opinion of women is low?  Alright as **friends?  Does that mean…?/  Cloud batted those musings away.  He really didn't need to wonder about such things.**_

            Giving no indication of his inner war not to think, Cloud stepped up to the bike, and swung a leg over.  He glanced over at the two SOLDIERS.  "Well?  We gonna go, or what?  I don't know where we're going, so you guys gotta lead."

            Zack nodded and Sephiroth stepped towards the Jeep.  "Okay.  You follow us, ne?  Hey, Seph!  Gimme the keys."  The silver-haired man tossed the keys in question over the roof of the jeep, and Zack neatly caught them, and climbed into the driver's seat, Sephiroth getting in on the other side.

            Cloud waited for them to start off, then followed.  He loved the bike already.  It had such power, and handled so well!  He saw a speed limit sign and realized that he was doing over twenty miles-per-hour over it.  But he was going the same speed as Zack…/_I guess he wasn't kidding about enforcement here!/ Cloud thought, happy that he got to indulge his Need For Speed for a little while._

            Cloud followed the Jeep carefully, never losing track of its position, even when there were vehicles between them.  Cloud noticed that there was a predominance of bikes, muscle cars, and jeeps in the SOLDIER sector.  He knew SOLDIER pay was astronomical; they could probably afford such transportation.  Cloud wanted to be a SOLDIER even more now.

            He wished he got the opportunity to enjoy the wind in his hair like this more often.  Sure, it was a dirty wind, this **was Midgar, but it was still a wind.  And, at least, they were on top of the plate, so the air was somewhat clean.  On his few trips under the plate he'd thought he would die, the air was so bad.  Being used to the crisp, cold mountain air of the Nibel region didn't help.**

            Cloud settled in to enjoy his ride.

*     *     *

            "So, Zack, what's with this set-up?" Sephiroth asked quietly in the jeep.

            Zack grinned.  "Well, I don't think he's ready to sit in a small space alone with the Great General Sephiroth."

            "I could have taken the bike."

            "Yeah, but there are things I wanted to talk to you about."

            "Aa.  Such as?"  A pale eyebrow quirked.

            Zack shook his head, but kept his eerily glowing eyes on the road.  "You know what I'm talking about.  You heard Chris; he did even better than you on the written tests.  And from sparring with him today, I'd say he's in great shape, and perfect for SOLDIER.  It's **obvious someone is trying to block him.  We suspected it, and he obviously thinks so, too.  And we all think it's the same person.  I just wonder if we're all jumping to conclusions."**

            Sephiroth shook his head.  "No.  I know it's **possible that it's someone else, but I doubt it.  He's really the only one, short of Shinra himself, with the kind of power to keep someone out.  What ****I really wonder about, is ****why?  Why would Hojo go to all this trouble to keep one kid out of SOLDIER?  Especially when said kid is so perfect for it."**

            Zack scowled.  "Cloud seemed to be fairly familiar with Hojo."

            Sephiroth nodded in agreement.  "And his father had a SOLDIER weapon, but wasn't a SOLDIER."

            Zack frowned.  "Forgive me if I fail to see the significance of that.  Other than that he got his hands on a modified version of a very rare weapon."

            Sephiroth shook his head and explained as best he could, about where Cloud's father could have gotten that weapon.  When he finished, Zack sighed.  "I see all kinds of potential connections between Cloud and Hojo, now.  Joy."

            Sephiroth shrugged.  "Well, if it pisses Hojo off, then I'd be positively **delighted to help get the kid into SOLDIER; even if he wasn't so perfectly cut-out for it!"**

            Zack grinned.  "You bet, Seph!  If it pisses off **anyone at the Shinra, I'm definitely in.  Especially for the kid.  He's just too good to pass up."**

            Sephiroth glanced at Zack.  "You really **do like him, don't you?"**

            Zack smiled.  "Yeah."  Sephiroth stifled the irrational spurt of worried jealousy that shot through him, but not before Zack, who could read him so well, noticed.  "Aw, don't worry, Seph.  You're still my number one.  Even if I get a steady girlfriend, you're still always gonna be one of the most important people in the world to me.  Screw Shinra, and Hojo, and SOLDIER;  our friendship is what really matters."  Then Zack shot him a sly glance.  "Besides, you like him, too."

Sephiroth did something very un-Sephiroth-like.  He spluttered, fumbled for an intelligent answer, and wound up turning very, very red.  Zack just laughed and continued to drive.

*     *     *

Cloud openly gawked at the building they'd stopped at.  It was no barracks at all; it was an actual, honest-to-the-Planet **house.  Okay, so a very small one, but the idea of living in a house with only one other person seemed a tremendous luxury to him.  At least, in a military setting.  Of course, Sephiroth and Zack ****were officers, and the two highest ranking ones in SOLDIER, at that.  That had to explain it.**

Cloud was well aware that life as a commissioned officer was very different from life as enlisted or even a Warrant Officer.  As evidenced by the fact that his company commander could get away with attempting to molest minors.  

On the other hand, this was also Midgar.  The air wasn't the only thing dirty around here.  Most people here lacked what Cloud regarded as basic human decency.  It was hard living in this huge city, and most everyone had to do some rather **questionable things just to survive.**

Cloud was really, **really, _really starting to hate this city._**

"Welcome to our humble abode," Zack said, practically in Cloud's ear.  Cloud twitched away from the close proximity, and turned to see Zack standing with a knowing smirk on his face.  "It **is a bit bigger living quarters than you're used to, isn't it?"**

Cloud settled for a quick nod.

"Their attempts at trying to force SOLDIERs to live like sardines were somewhat less than successful," Sephiroth murmured as he passed Cloud on the way to the front door.  Zack snorted, showing his opinion of that statement.

"'Somewhat less than successful'?  More like, they had half crazy super-soldiers doing their dead level best to beat the crap out of each other."

Cloud's eyebrows shot up at that before he could control his reaction.  Zack just chuckled.  "Well, everyone responds to Mako-enhancement differently, so…"

"Ah, I see.  Incompatibilities being amplified by the Mako-enhancement, leading to confrontations between squad-mates.  I see."  Cloud's voice had gone distant and impersonal, causing Sephiroth to look over his shoulder at Cloud.  Zack shook his head in disbelief.

"Planet's sake, Spike!  How the heck do you know that?"

Cloud blinked, then indicated the patch on his military-issue jumpsuit.  It was black with a tongue of flame on it in the exact color of Sephiroth's eyes.  The color of Mako.  "I'm a specialist in Mako Sciences.  It's my **job to know ****all things related to Mako."**

Sephiroth finally opened the door and stepped inside, followed by Zack, and, more hesitantly, Cloud.  Zack waved at Cloud to put his things down and motioned him to a chair.  Cloud sat carefully in it, eyes darting around the place as he made note of all the exits and any potential dangers.  Sephiroth couldn't help the ever-so-tiny quirk of an eyebrow at that.

He began to wonder just what sort of life he'd had that had left him so wary.

"Hey, Cloud!  Would you mind explaining this whole 'Mako Sciences' thing?  Since SOLDIER doesn't have conventional ranks or areas of specialization, I really don't have a clue what you're talking about."  Zack looked expectantly at him.

Cloud sighed.  "It's fairly self-explanatory.  I'm a specialist in all things relating to Mako."

"So, what?  You handle all the Materia, or something?"

Cloud nodded.  "That's part of it.  I also measure draw and growth rates on Materia, can diagnose and treat mild to moderate Mako poisoning, and over-draw …Basically, I do lots.  Those are just the really common tasks.  I also know all about Mako-enduced mutation, Mako reactors, Mako monsters…."

Cloud gave a world-weary sigh.  "But, fortunately, I'm not the only Mako Specialist in the company.  There's one of us in each platoon, so we spread the workload around.  Each one of us deals with the Materia allocation for our platoon on a daily basis, though we really don't have to deal with it that much since most of the company's fairly green and we don't use Materia much in green companies.  Shinra policy, and all."

"So you really don't do much besides handle the Materia?"  Sephiroth asked.

Cloud sighed.  "Sort of.  Those are **daily tasks.  If needed, I'm supposed to be able to handle ****anything having ****anything to do with Mako.  If a reactor is having a meltdown, I'm ****technically supposed to be able to handle that."**

"Can you really?"

"Probably, though, I've no desire to find out."  He stood and stretched.  "Now, you mentioned a shower?"

Zack nodded.  "Second door on the left.  There's soap and towels there, so feel free to use them."  Cloud nodded and pulled a spare jumpsuit out of his bag, and grinned at Zack's raised brow.

"I try to always be prepared."

"Yeah, I'll bet," Zack muttered as Cloud went off to the shower, then suddenly called Cloud back.  "If there's so much crap you're supposed to be responsible for, how do you manage?"

Cloud shrugged.  "We've got sub-specialties."

"Really?  And what's yours?" Zack inquired.

Cloud tapped another patch, this one a silver and Mako-green Dragon on a black field.  "The effects of Mako on living organisms and systems."  And Cloud vanished back to the bathroom.

Sephiroth had paled visibly, a trick considering how pale he was to start with.  "On living…."

Zack shook his head.  "Yet another thing that may link him to Hojo," he said very quietly.  Sephiroth settled for a shudder.  The intrigue was beginning to make him uneasy.

*     *     *

Cloud sighed and stretched under the hot spray.  There was never enough hot water for him.  Even though Cloud **despised hot weather, he adored hot water.  He liked it just a few degrees shy of boiling, according to complaints he'd gotten, but he didn't care.  The luxury of having hot water was wonderful, and he intended to enjoy it.  He still kept an ear out for any suspicious sounds; after all, he was in the shower, and considering the sheer number of bad things that could happen when one was in the shower…**

Of course, he'd locked the door, knowing perfectly well that that wouldn't keep a determined person out, especially if that person was a SOLDIER.  The sound of the door or lock giving might give him some extra warning, though. 

Cloud watched the water run down the blade of the wicked-looking combat knife that went everywhere with him.  He ate with it, slept with it, showered with it, everything.

So what if he was jumpy?

It had managed to save him before, hadn't it?

But the thing Cloud found most disturbing was the fact that he **trusted Sephiroth and Zack.  He'd never heard anything ill of either of them, or even any rumors that they might lean toward boys.  (The only possible indicator of ****that had been that comment in the parking lot.)  That usually wasn't enough to get him to trust anyone, but he just had one of those ****feelings.  The ones he got, from time to time, that he ****knew were correct.  They'd never let him down yet…**

Not that he was going to tempt fate by **not being prepared.**

Cloud studied his body under the comforting heat of the shower.  He was going to have a few really **good bruises, come morning.  He also felt the dull ache of muscles that had been at least strained, if not outright pulled.  Oh, well.  He'd just have to make absolutely sure he stretched very well, tonight.  He smiled at the already purpling bruises on his right arm and side, Zack's payback for the injury he'd sustained right off in the match.  The only bruise he was worried about was the one on his left cheek.  He couldn't see it, but he could feel it.  If ****Captain (and he thought the title as a curse) Banford saw it at formation tomorrow, he'd be in for one.  He didn't fear the captain, but he could be annoying.**

Cloud finished his shower and turned off the water.  He grabbed one of the towels and dried off, first his knife, then himself.  After all, he wouldn't rust, but his blade might if he let it.  Then Cloud pulled on his underwear and buckled on the rig he'd made himself in Nibelheim, for he'd had the knife that long (another gift from his dead father), and slipped the knife into it.  Then he put on the clean jumpsuit and his watch.  He pulled on his socks and put his earrings in.

As he ran a hand through his damp hair, he wondered for the _nth time how it could maintain those proud spikes even when wet.  He was really lucky that the regs only said that the hair could not stick out of the helmet or interfere with proper use of it.  He'd heard that some of the old militaries had had much stricter hair codes.  Since the helmet was the only headgear used by the Shinra, he didn't have to worry if his hair was poking out of his hat or that it touched his collar.  He shook his head and gathered the hair in the back into its customary ponytail, making sure enough hair escaped at the sides to hide his earrings.  He felt around to be sure everything was in its place, ignoring the mirror completely, then stepped out into the hall._

*     *     *

Zack and Sephiroth looked up as their guest stepped out of the bathroom.  Both of them looked amused with the way his hair stood up.

"Well, that must be some industrial-grade hair spray!" Zack exclaimed with a good-natured smile.

Cloud shrugged.  "Whatever."  Zack's grin broadened.  He looked like he was going to say something, when Sephiroth cut in.

"You should probably eat something, before you go home.  Isn't mess closed by now?"

Cloud looked at his watch, then nodded.  "If you have anything.  I don't want to put you guys out."

Zack shook his head.  "Don't be silly.  It's no problem.  I **think we have something edible in the 'fridge, don't we, Seph?"**

The tall man cocked an eyebrow.  "How should I know?  I haven't been home for a meal all week."

"Oh, yeah."  Zack shook himself.  "Well, I'm sure there's **something in there.  I'll just go look."**

Cloud was beginning to think that any food he ate here might be hazardous to his health.  He almost came up with a casual excuse so he could beg out of it, but Sephiroth obviously read his intent.  "Don't," he said, shaking his head.  "Let him try.  He wants to be as hospitable as possible.  You'll hurt his feelings if you try to get out of this now, and then **I'll have to live with the consequences."**

Cloud reluctantly settled down to see if there would be anything to eat.  After a few minutes of waiting, Zack came out with a package.  "Hey, Seph!  This looks edible, and the expiration date is a whole week from now, but since I can burn water…"

Sephiroth sighed and rolled his eyes expressively.  "Yes, Zack, I'll cook it."  He rose and grabbed the package from Zack, bearing it towards the kitchen.

"Thanks, Seph!" Zack caroled, happily, and Sephiroth turned back to face Cloud.

"You see what I have to put up with?  Argh!"  The silver-haired man disappeared into the kitchen, and started rattling dishes around.  Zack winked at Cloud.

"Don't worry.  If Seph cooks it, it'll be good and won't do you any harm."

Cloud was once again doing a mental double-take.  It had never occurred to him that Sephiroth would be the one doing the domestic duties.  He had a sudden mental image of The Great General Sephiroth in an apron, fussing around the house doing the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, and the dishes.

Cloud burst into peals of laughter.  Zack looked at him like he was crazy, so, once he had breath to do so, Cloud told him what was so funny.  Zack started laughing, too.  Then, over the din Zack and Cloud were making, Sephiroth's voice could be heard.

"I **heard that!!!"**

*     *     *

Cloud smiled, and waved to his squad-mates as he entered the room.  Some of them started to look decidedly nervous; after all, Cloud was hardly the casually friendly type.  But Cloud was in a very good mood.  Dinner had been, as promised, very good, certainly better than the slop they served most of the time in the mess.  (Cloud knew all the jokes about cafeteria food, and knew that they normally weren't valid, but in the Shinra Military's case, they most certainly applied.)  During dinner, Cloud had been surprised by the amount of light banter going on, right along side bitter complaints about work.  He was surprised even more that Zack and Sephiroth had been willing to speak so openly of work-related things when they had a guest who hadn't the authorization to hear such things.  Of course, they hadn't mentioned anything classified above his clearance, but that they'd said anything at all was a great symbol of trust in him.

For the first time in his life, he'd felt really **included in something.  He'd felt like…**

A friend.

So, yeah, he was in a very good mood.  A good workout, a hot, **private shower, a great meal, almost-friendship, and the ride back to the barracks on that wonderful motorcycle…the whole ****day had been great.  Long, but really good.**

Cloud re-stashed his things, throwing his dirty jumpsuit in his laundry bag, and began his ritual evening stretch.  Tonight he stretched even more thoroughly than usual.  After that workout, he wanted to make absolutely sure he kept his strained muscles loose, to keep them from getting stiff and **really sore.  He wished fleetingly that he had thought to take along some of the cream his mother had made for him to help bruises heal.  He had it in his drawer, but he wasn't about to strip down to treat himself in front of his sleepy and half-drunk roommates.  Not to mention, it would start people asking questions he really didn't feel like answering so late at night.**

Cloud curled up into his bed, stealthily slipping his knife under his body where it wouldn't be seen, but was still in easy reach.  Putting it under his pillow was just too obvious.  Then, he fell into a comfortable sleep, deep enough to be restful, but light enough that he could hear what was going on around him.

The Midgar night passed by a tired soldier who felt like a cat who'd caught the canary.  And gotten some catnip and cream to go alongside.

*     *     *

Am I the only one who names their vehicles?  Just wondering!  Anyone have any ideas for the bike's name?  I had a really good one, which I promptly forgot….  Ooh, the intrigue!  Just how does Cloud know all the stuff he knows?  You'll just have to keep reading!  **Mwahahahahaha! *ahem* And a jumpy little Cloud?  Poor baby!  I hope you all enjoyed Domestic Duties Sephiroth!!!! *smirk***


	4. SOLDIER: From Here to Wutai

Whee!!!!  Sorry it's been so long since I reviewed!  Finals start this week…I am _so not looking forward to the Calculus final…especially day one!  No Calculators!!!!  I'm gonna die….*sobs*  I also finally saw Nightwalker, so I'm on a Vampire trip right now…Ooh, Shido's so cute, so's Cain, in a creepy, posessive ex-lover sort of way…*drools*_

Now what you all are _really here for….Okay, this one does some jumping, clear from Midgar to Wutai, in fact!  I hope you all like this part as much as you liked the others!_

*     *     *

Cloud awoke the next morning at his usual time.  About five minutes before he was supposed to.  He quickly stripped out of his jumpsuit, and hastily spread some of his mother's cream on the worst of his bruises.  Like 'Zack's Revenge'.  Ooh, that one hurt a whole lot this morning.  After he put on the cream, he quickly jumped into his uniform.  Well, most of it.  He wasn't putting on the jacket until **after breakfast.  Fortunately, it wasn't the patrol uniform, with helmet and everything.  On the other hand, that would have covered the bruise on his face…**

/_Oh, well./ Cloud thought.  /__It could be worse./  Cloud privately wondered if Zack was as hurting this morning as he was.  He doubted it.  All Cloud could think of was that at least his muscles weren't complaining as much as he'd thought they'd be._

As the rest of his squad got up around him, Cloud left to take his usual leisurely morning stroll to the mess hall.  That was the good thing about his frustrating habit of being up a little early every day.  He didn't get much leisure time, with all the balls he was struggling to keep in the air all at once.  He winced as he realized he'd just added another one.

Cloud reached the mess hall just before most of his squad did, though, the place was hardly empty.  With all the troops in Midgar, there were enough hungry mouths to feed to warrant several mess halls.  Which Midgar had.  But all of them were pretty packed at the height of mess hour.

Cloud ate his breakfast with great gusto.  Most of the food the mess hall served was not fit to feed to worms, but they did do good breakfasts.  Which was good, since Cloud was frequently working through at least one of the other meals.  Cloud thought breakfast was the most important meal anyway.

Cloud disposed of his dishes, then went off to the field where his company was to meet for inspection.  He saluted respectfully to Lieutenant Jackson, whom he personally really did like.  Jackson had 'gone mustang', as they called it.  He'd worked his way up through the ranks, so he was older than his rank might suggest, but he knew what he was doing much better than any other snot-nosed officer Cloud knew.  Not to mention, he wasn't a mean, sick **pervert like the 'Captain'.**

Cloud pulled on his jacket and straightened it, checking to be sure all was in order.  As he waited for the command to order up with the others, Buck Sergeant Ryans came up to him.  Ryans was the one in charge of Cloud's platoon, the one who took things back and forth between the Lieutenant and the enlisted.

Ryans was also one of the few females Cloud knew in the military.  Since uniformity was so highly valued in the modern Shinra Military, a woman had to work extra hard to prove she could cut it.  And Sergeant Ryans was one tough as nails lady.  And she really was good at her job.

Cloud looked respectfully up at her, waiting.  She got straight to the point in her typical no-nonsense way.  "Strife, what the hell'd you do to your face?"

Cloud reached up to the bruise on his cheek.  "What, this?" he asked.  Was it really that obvious?

Ryans rolled her eyes.  "Yes, that.  Who the hell hit you, huh?"

Cloud shook his head.  "Don't worry ma'am.  It's just from a workout last night.  It's really nothing."

"Nothing?  Captain's gonna see that a mile away, Strife.  And I wanna know if I gotta take anyone apart for doing Bad Things to one of **my Spec fours."**

Cloud blinked, before realizing what she was talking about.  She thought someone had attacked** him?  He fought back the urge to laugh.  "Ma'am, you know how good I am in a fight.  Do you think anyone around ****here could do something like this to ****me?  I just had a really good workout last night.  There's no problem."**

Ryans nodded.  "Alright.  Just making sure.  I know you get a strange amount of attention, so it never hurts to make sure."

"Thanks, Sarge.  I appreciate it."

"No prob, kid."

Just as Cloud was about to (politely, of course!) remind her not to call him 'kid', they were called into order.  The whole company scrambled into its platoons and squads, everyone coming to a stiff attention.  Some of the company actually respected the captain, but most were just afraid of the punishments he could dish out.

Captain Banford strode in as imperiously as ever, and inspection began.

Banford nailed two men off the bat for the stains on their uniforms.  Another for his shoes being 'not shiny enough'.  A few more, here and there, mostly made up.  The company was always very careful about inspections when the captain was present.

Then, Banford was in front of him.

"Strife!  What is wrong with your face!?  Were you in a fight?"  The Captain's glare was suspicious.  Cloud didn't move an inch as he leaned in towards him.  "Well!?  I'm waiting for an answer!"

Cloud heard snickers behind him, but ignored them.  "Sir, no, sir.  I just had a really good workout last night, sir."

The captain smirked.  "So, who is she, Strife?"

The snickers grew louder.  Cloud responded levelly. "Sir, it was just a workout, sir.  Nothing like what you're insinuating, sir."  The captain bent closer.

"Are you saying I'm wrong?"  The glitter in his eyes was dangerous.

"Respectfully, sir, yes."

The officer's sneer grew.  "We all know how good a fighter you are, so who could have hit you this hard?"

Now Cloud was getting annoyed.  "Sir, a new friend, sir."

"Ah, well then…."  Suddenly a familiar voice broke in.

"Excuse me.  Are you Captain Banford?"

Banford wheeled around with a roar.  "What is it, soldier!?!?  Can't you see I'm busy!?!?  I've half a mind to—"  His voice died in his throat as he saw that he was indeed addressing a 'soldier'.  Zack just looked amused and tilted his head, cocking an eyebrow as if to say 'to—what?'  Banford, wisely, changed his tone.

"Oh, I'm sorry.  I didn't realize we were going to get a visit from a SOLDIER today."  Then, to the troops, he said.  "You all should be grateful you get a chance to see a real SOLDIER."  His eyes spoke directly to Cloud, saying he should be grateful for this temporary respite.

Zack smiled thinly.  "I was told you were the person I needed to see about getting a Spec Four, Cloud Strife, detailed to me in place of his usual P.T.  Are you?"

Banford blinked.  "Strife?"  His eyes slid over to glare at a very confused looking Cloud.  "Surely, there are better choices if you want to spend some time helping a soldier train…"

Zack shook his head.  "After the workout I had with him last night, I seriously doubt that."  A small piece of Cloud was temporarily elated when he saw how stiffly Zack's right arm was moving.

Banford blinked.  "So, you're the one that gave him this bruise?"  Banford viciously jabbed a finger into Cloud's bruised cheek, but he didn't even twitch.

Zack studied his face carefully.  "Well, I didn't realize I hit him so hard there.  I'll just have to be more careful.  It's so easy to forget how delicate you normal humans are."

Banford twitched at the reminder of the Mako-enhanced SOLDIER's strength.  "Well, I **guess I could let you have him…But only for his P.T. time."**

Zack nodded.  "That is acceptable."  He started to leave.  "I'll have the paperwork delivered to you by the end of the day."

"Wait!"  Banford exclaimed before Zack could leave.  Zack turned back.  "I'd like to know who's asking, so I know who to report if I think anything…questionable is happening.  Can't have my troops being roughed up on.  You understand."

/_Like you have any room to talk about 'questionable' happenings, Banford./ Cloud thought acidly._

Zack smiled.  "I'm SOLDIER First-class Colonel Zack.  Though, you could just mail any complaints to Sephiroth; it'll go to the same address."  And Zack was gone, leaving Banford gawking at how powerful a man he'd just met.

Cloud just felt awe at how skillfully Zack had just handled his so-called captain.

This was shaping up to be as good a day as yesterday had been.

*     *     *

"Aw, Hell, Seph!" Zack whined.  "Go easy, would you?  That hurts!"  Sephiroth's lips curled in a faint smile.

"So you said this morning when you finally woke up.  Though, you weren't complaining last night, and I was much rougher with you then."

Zack sighed.  "You know that's different, Seph."

Sephiroth shook his head and continued to rub Zack's sore side.  Thanks to the Mako enhancements, the bruising was almost completely gone, now, but there was a persistent ache lingering in it's stead.  "You know, if you're this sore now, can you imagine how Strife must be feeling?  You hit him many more times than he hit you, and you probably hit him harder, too."

Zack rolled onto his back more completely to level a glare at his friend.  "What's this 'Strife' business?  You called him Cloud yesterday, so why're you reverting back to last names?"  Sephiroth did not answer, and Zack sighed.  "You are **hopeless."**

Sephiroth changed the subject.  "So, I take it Banford's agreed to release him to you?"

Zack's eyebrows rose, telling Sephiroth that the change in subject hadn't gone unnoticed.  But the dark-haired man let it drop.  "Yeah.  You wouldn't believe that guy.  I walk in and he's up in Cloud's face interrogating him on where he got a bruise from!  And then he wanted to know who I was so he knew who to contact if he thought I was being too rough with Spike!  Couldn't even recognize me, damn bastard!  How he ever made it anywhere in the military is beyond me."

Sephiroth sighed.  "Sign of the times, Zack.  Sign of the times.  So you have him for P.T.?  He got that in the morning?"

Zack nodded.  "Most of the time.  Can you believe it?  Yesterday was a training holiday and Banford kept right on training them?  I don't even know if he's allowed to do that."

Sephiroth shrugged.  "Whatever.  At least you've got him now.  You better be careful with him, though.  He **is fragile."**

Zack nodded.  "He is.  Though, I think his emotions are more delicate than his body."  Sephiroth nodded in silent agreement.  Then Zack shook his head.  "Well, whatever.  I'll be training with him enough, starting tomorrow.  For now, on to important things!"  The SOLDIER reached up and caught Sephiroth by the hair and reeled him in, wrapping his arms around him.

Sephiroth stiffened then relaxed.  He'd first hated Cloud for putting **his Zack into strange moods.  Now he thought he might be an angel or something.  Some of Zack's 'strange moods' were ****fun!**

*     *     *

_(about a month later)_

Cloud sighed and hefted his sword back up to his shoulder.  The training with Zack was going so well.  It was what he looked forward to every day, his whole reason for getting out of bed in the morning.

And now, it was over.

Cloud was swearing mentally, not looking forward to telling Zack about this.  They'd become actual, honest-to-the-Planet **friends over the past month, and Cloud really didn't want to leave.**

/_Damn it!  And why the **Hell do they have to send me someplace as far away as ****Wutai!?/  Cloud was Not Happy.  Of course, his whole company was complaining, too.  The people of Wutai had been getting more and more restless, and the Shinra had decided to send some more troops to 'keep the peace'.**_

Cloud stepped into the SOLDIER gym and waved to those who waved at him.  Cloud now knew a fairly substantial number of the SOLDIERs who frequented the gym, and even sparred with some of them.  Normally only when Zack was unable to come.  Now he made his way across the mat to the place Zack had staked out for their practice sessions.  As expected, there was Zack, wearing his customary smirk.

Cloud set down his things and saluted very formally, and the smile bled from Zack's face.  "Colonel Zack," Cloud said crisply.  "I am to inform you of my new orders, sir."  At Zack's nod, he continued.  "As part of the 397th Company, I have been ordered to report to Fort Xi-Fe-Xiu in Wutai.  The transport leaves at oh-five-hundred Thursday."

Zack scowled.  "At ease," he said softly.  Cloud relaxed a bit, watching his friend and superior officer carefully.  Zack sighed.  "Thanks for telling me, Spike," he said wearily.  "I'd heard that things were getting rough in Wutai, but…Damn it!  Just 'cause you were doing so well!"  Zack shook his head.  "Well, I guess there's nothing to do but get in as much training as you can, now….How long are you gonna be there?"

Cloud shrugged.  "They're calling it four months, right now, but Sergeant Ryans says it'll probably run more like five or six."

Zack's scowl deepened.  "Damn.  I wish they wouldn't pull this kind of shit in the middle of training…Well, I'll talk to Seph, and we'll see if we can at least get things worked out so you can get assigned to the SOLDIER garrison there for P.T.  Your SOLDIER sector pass will let you in, but I'd be happier if you had some regular work-outs with the SOLDIERs there."

Cloud nodded in agreement.  He couldn't even imagine going back to normal P.T. after this.  It would be so…so…**easy.  He didn't want to go back to a totally unchallenging, ****boring course of P.T.**

Zack sighed.  "Okay, Spike.  Get your sword.  We've got three days for you to work out in, and by the Planet, I'm gonna make sure you get the most of them!"

*     *     *

Cloud hefted his small pack of possessions to his shoulder.  He didn't have much, so he didn't even have to worry about the shipping weight restrictions. Cloud sighed wistfully. Some of the others had enough that mattered to them that they actually had to ship some stuff.  All he really had were the necessities, plus his sword, knife, and a very few personal things.  He had only the pack on his back and a suitcase in the cargo boat.

That was the other thing.  The whole trip was going to be spent on a **boat.  Cloud just ****knew he was going to be sick as a dog for the whole trip.  He knew that Mako could cure something as trivial as motion sickness, another reason he'd wanted into SOLDIER.  But noooo~!  Hojo was being as much an unscientific butt-hole as his father's notes had suggested.**

Stifling the sigh that threatened from deep inside his chest, Cloud started up the ramp into the troop carrier.  Then he heard Captain Banford's voice bellowing his name.  "Strife!  **Strife!!"**

Cloud winced, mentally.  He sounded **pissed.  Cloud turned to find his bellowing commander.  Spotting him, Cloud jogged over to him, not missing the red head next to him.  Cloud saluted Banford and Mac, the SOLDIER second he had met the first day of sparring with Zack.  Mac grinned.**

"Heya, Strife!  The Colonel sent me down with your orders for P.T. in the SOLDIER garrison.  You're gonna be stuck with the normal P.T. for a week or two though while they sort all the paperwork out on that end."  Mac handed him a packet of papers, then grinned.  "You're supposed to be assigned to Colonel Andrews and Major Shimo.  Zack swears they're the best in all of SOLDIER, so you better soak up every word they ever say to you."

Mac smiled, and patted Cloud on the shoulder, oblivious to, or maybe simply ignoring the furious glare from Banford.  "You take care, Spike.  Despite what the army says, Wutai is still a formidable fighting force.  Watch your back, ne?"  Then, with a cheerful wave, and a sort of salute to Banford, he left.

Cloud blinked down at the papers in his hand, then shrugged and picked up his bag, turning resolutely back to the transport.

*     *     *

_(Four days later)_

Cloud sighed in relief as he shook out his watery legs.  He'd never been so glad to be on dry land in his life.  Okay, so maybe it wasn't particularly dry, being a beach in the middle of a rainstorm, but at least it didn't **move underneath him!  If he never saw another boat in his life, it would still be too much.**

Cloud quietly hefted his bag to his shoulder.  His only solace was that most of the others had been having problems, too. And that, after the first day, he'd been so tired of it that the heaving, rocking, shuddering motion of the ship hadn't bothered him any more.  They had to have been the most seasick group of soldiers the Planet had ever seen.  

The whole ship emptied out, and a company of still queasy Shinra military troopers filed out onto the shore.  They lined up, and waited for their orders with the patience of men who were so tired they couldn't be anything **but patient.  Captain Banford finally had the platoon leaders separate the platoons, then each platoon trudged their weary way through the pounding rain to their assigned quarters.  **

The rain was beginning to make Cloud feel human again.  It ran down his face and into his eyes and took the smell of the cramped, tossing ship away with it.  He was grinning ear-to-ear by the time Lieutenant Jackson got them to the barracks.  As they attempted to cram three at a time through the narrow door, Jackson called Cloud aside.

"Strife.  I know you've got orders pending to get your P.T. in with the SOLDIERs, but until confirmation of those orders gets here, you're gonna have to work out with us.  Tomorrow, make sure you get those papers that SOLDIER gave you to the appropriate authorities.  Got it?"

Cloud nodded.  "Yes, sir."

Jackson smiled.  "Good.  Now go get settled in.  Remember that P.T. is at oh-six-hundred tomorrow."  Then the officer vanished off to wherever it was that officers always went off to.

Cloud turned and entered his new 'home' for this 'four month' stint in the back of beyond. 

*     *     *

Cloud was wondering how he had ever found this difficult.  All around him came the sounds of the rest of his platoon working out: grunts, moans, sighs, and the sound of flesh striking flesh.  It was kind of relaxing, but the actual workout was nowhere near as intense as working out with SOLDIERs.  Which was to be expected, but it didn't change the fact that Cloud was quickly growing bored.

Just as he thought he was going to be driven out of his mind, they were called to line up to start the run.  It was his favorite part of P.T., the part he performed particularly well on.  He'd been improving his endurance and speed at running during his time with SOLDIER, and he couldn't wait to see how he'd do on a typical P.T. run.

A few minutes later, he was mentally taking that thought back.

/_Bored, bored, bored…/ he thought, miserably.  It was **so easy, he just wanted to keel over and die, or maybe go stark raving mad.  Just then, something interesting happened.  Cloud saw a squad of SOLDIERs on ****their daily run.  A standard Shinra squad was composed of twelve men, since they usually operated in groups of two or three, and twelve was divisible by both.  A standard ****SOLDIER squad was ten men, since SOLDIER usually worked in pairs.  And a perfectly formed squad of ten SOLDIERs was headed down the road that intersected the one they were on.  It gave Cloud plenty of time to study them.**_

Frankly, he was envious.  They were all in perfect shape, and ignored the scowls of the inhabitants of Wutai, which had been distracting the regulars all morning.  He watched them, not even bothering to hide his envy.  He saw one of the men in the lead glance at him, notice his look, and actually **smile at him.  As the out-sized platoon and the SOLDIER squad's paths once again diverged, Cloud wondered what the smile was for.**

Meanwhile, at the head of the small group of SOLDIERs, Colonel Andrews turned to look at the Wutaian man beside him.  Major Shimo looked up at him questioningly.  This was the SOLDIER garrison's leader and his personal friends on their morning jog.  Actually, Andrews was in charge of all the SOLDIER forces in Wutai, but Xi-Fe-Xiu was the main base on Wutai, so he lead from here.  Shimo was the actual base commander.

"Well, Shimo, did you see that kid with the spiky hair?"

The Wutaian shook his head.  "How could I miss him?  Short as I am, bright blond hair that gives him a few extra inches, running like it was just a stroll, and looking bored as hell…Something's up with that one, Andy."

Andrews smirked.  "Well, that **was part of the 397th.  What do you wanna bet that was our semi-SOLDIER?  You know, the one Zack told us about."**

Shimo shrugged.  "I haven't gotten to look over all of that yet.  I imagine I'll know once I see the personnel file on this 'semi-SOLDIER', as you called it."

Andrews nodded, turning back to his run.  "I imagine so, too.  If **that's what Zack gave us to work with, I think we may have our work cut out to find something he ****can't do.  Already has the build of a SOLDIER, we may just have to get him the mind of one."**

*     *     *

Well, well, well!  Hey, Cloud's in shape!  As for all those wondering why Cloud's so much better than the average Shinra trooper, *crickets chirp* that's going to be explained in the next part!  So keep reading and reviewing!

Ja!

Akuma no Tsubasa


	5. Let the Battle Begin! or Enter the Annoy...

Hi, hi, minna-san!  I survived my finals, though I don't know yet how I did on them.  *sobs* I have to wait over vacation for that.

Here's the next part!  I'm almost to the point that I have to write the parts instead of taking them out of storage! *gasp*  *smirk*  Enjoy, all you people who are crazy enough to read this stuff!

*     *     *

**This was what workouts were supposed to be.  It was Cloud's third week with the Wutai Garrison, and he could already feel the difference.**

He'd been surprised to discover that the two men leading that squad of SOLDIERs he'd seen that first full day in Wutai were Andrews and Shimo.  He soon discovered that both were well deserving of the praise Zack had given them.

Andrews was a tall, broad-shouldered redhead, with stormy blue-grey eyes.  He was very strong, and had an extremely quick mind.  He was almost frightening in his charisma, if not quite as much so as Sephiroth, and was a good leader.

Shimo was a tiny, skinny Wutaian guy, with grey-black hair and **very light grey eyes.  He was strong, sure, but his main features were his unbelievable speed and disgusting flexibility.  Cloud had instantly started watching him.  Now he'd picked up some of the Major's moves, even some mannerisms.  Hell, he was even learning more Wutaian than the Shinra had deemed necessary.  In between his duties as a Spec Four in the Shinra army, his workouts, and school, of course.**

Cloud wanted to send a letter to Zack, to tell him how he was doing, and to thank him for his efforts in getting Cloud's P.T. assignments rearranged, but he didn't know what to do.  Too many years of being a friendless loner made it difficult to figure out how to act with friends.  He knew he was shy, painfully so about some things, and if he could, he would have stayed well out of sight of everyone.  But he wanted to be a SOLDIER, and he wanted to do well, and that meant he had to stand out.  He could crush his anxieties when he needed to, but he'd always be shy.  So he was afraid of imposing.

He knew it was stupid.  Zack was his **friend, and Sephiroth, too, but they were also everything he'd ever wanted to be: handsome, strong, successful, admired.  He just couldn't make himself write the damn letter.  He'd tried repeatedly, but the words wouldn't come.**

Thus, he was having an after hours session with Major Shimo.  Workouts usually helped Cloud come up with ideas, or at least temporarily squash his troubles.  Right now, it was mainly making him realize just how much of an edge Mako gave people.  Shimo was really good, young for his rank (though, Sephiroth and Zack were that, too), and really **really fast.  Cloud had been able to almost hold his own with most SOLDIERs  he had trained with, but now he realized just how much they had to have been holding back on him.**

Cloud **so wanted to be a SOLDIER.**

Ducking under the major's Wutai-crafted long sword, Cloud forced his aching body into a burst of speed and sent the flat of his blade at Shimo's legs.  He saw the major tense to jump, and the whole world went into slow motion.  He felt the burn of muscles abused by an hour of being driven beyond their limits, the weight and momentum of his heavy blade, saw that Shimo would strike him from mid-air….

Cloud altered the path of his sword.  Then the world was back on normal time, the blade sweeping across in its chosen path….

It crashed into Shimo's legs, even as the SOLDIER reached the top of his leap.  The blow wasn't all that powerful, especially to a SOLDIER, but the major was in mid-air, and had no purchase or balance, and the impact was enough to dash him to the ground.

Shimo blinked up at him from the ground, then smiled slowly at him.  Cloud just swayed on his feet and his sword slipped from nerveless fingers.  Shimo was off the ground and catching him before he could fall faster than Cloud's tired mind could register.

The major eased him to the ground carefully, concern and happiness warring on his face.  "Sorry, Strife.  Didn't mean to push you that far.  You should have said something if you were that tired."  The happiness won out.  "It happened, didn't it?"

Cloud blinked stupidly.  "Huhn?"

"The world slowed down for you without using a haste spell.  Didn't it?"  Cloud nodded mutely, and Shimo, who usually lived up to his name, smiled like the sun.  "That's good, Strife!  That's one of the things that sets natural SOLDIERs apart from other SOLDIERs.  You know what I'm talking about, right?"

Cloud nodded, and suppressed his irritation. Of **course he knew!  It was his ****job to know that sort of thing.  A natural SOLDIER was an individual who possessed SOLDIER-like characteristics prior to Mako-enhancement.  A ****typical SOLDIER was just like most people, only a little stronger, faster, or smarter than most.  When they got accepted into SOLDIER and received the Mako-treatments, that was when they first started displaying trademark SOLDIER characteristics.**

Shimo nodded.  "Well, normally, we'd give you a day or two to recover, but the regular military doesn't recognize the same things as medical hazards as SOLDIER does.  Are you going to be okay?"

Cloud nodded and managed to get his voice into working order, if only for a whisper.  "Yeah…Happened before…..I'll be okay…"

Shimo's eyebrows went up slightly.  "It has?"  At Cloud's weak nod, he frowned.  "Hmmm…That's interesting.  You know, since Zack's **really more-or-less in charge of you, I'm gonna have to send him a report.  You should contact him, too, tell him your account of what happened.  He'll want to know."  Shimo hefted him to his feet.  "Now, go rest.  If you're feeling at all dizzy in the morning, don't come in.  Call the base physician, and if he won't accept your explanation, call me.  I don't want you doing yourself any lasting harm pushing yourself tomorrow.  The slow-down changes something in your head.  If it's happened before, I think you'll be okay, but I don't know, for sure.  I've never met someone who's done it more than once or twice, though I heard rumors, of course.  It usually happens once you're a SOLDIER, anyway, and then it sticks.  Or it happens once as a regular, and again once you're a SOLDIER and sticks then.  The Mako seems to make it hang around for a while."**

Cloud nodded, not really hearing any of it.  He just wanted to go to bed.

The trip to the barracks was a haze, and Cloud didn't know whether he drove, or got a ride, or walked, for that matter.  He didn't notice the weird looks his squad-mates gave him as he staggered in.  He just flopped down on his bed and abandoned himself to sleep.  Just as he drifted off, he realized that he now had a legitimate excuse to send Zack a letter.

*     *     *

Zack's eyebrows seemed to be stuck somewhere roughly around his hairline.  He'd just received Major Shimo's report on Cloud's incident with the time bending, and now he held in his hands a vid-letter disc from one Specialist Four, Cloud Strife.  Zack popped the disc into his player and blinked when Cloud's face appeared on-screen.  Cloud had only been gone a month, but there was something different about him.  He seemed even older inside, or maybe not so much **older as ****mature.  Cloud's voice had dropped slightly, though, when he finally spoke, causing Zack's eyebrows to hurt, he cranked them so high.  The teen also had picked up a slight Wutaian accent.**

"Hello, sir…Zack," the boy spoke hesitantly.  "Major Shimo said I ought to send you a letter because of my…experience with the time distortion.  Uhmmm….I really don't know what to say, so I guess I'll start with the facts…"

Sephiroth had appeared even as the recording started, and stood behind Zack, watching the recording intently.  It really was just the cut-and-dried version.  Cloud sounded like he was a bored student reciting something out of a dry-as-dirt textbook.  Then Cloud became hesitant again.  "Ummm, I'm not really good at composing letters, so I get the feeling this sounds more like a report, than a letter, but it was intended to be a letter.  Ummmmmm….well, Wutai is much nicer than I thought it would be, if primitive with people who hate us.  Certainly better than that thrice cursed boat was!  I'm picking up the language pretty well; I really like it.  It's so smooth and flowing.  Major Shimo is just awesome, and so is Colonel Andrews."

Cloud's eyebrows drew together.  He looked worried.  "Zack, I…I think something is going to happen here.  The people get more and more restless.  I understand their resentment.  If someone came in and occupied **my home, I think I'd kill them.  Which is what I'm worried will happen here.  Maybe not tomorrow, or next week, but eventually they'll just break out here.  All they need now is a leader to rally behind."**

Cloud shook his head as if shaking off the gloomy thoughts.  "Anyway, thanks for setting me up at the garrison out here.  You, too, Seph, since I **know Zack'll show you this and since I know you had to have had a part in getting this done."  He leaned forward, as if to switch off the camera, then paused.  He blushed pink, then mumbled hurriedly, "Miss you both."  Then the disc ended.**

Zack sat back, smiling slightly.  The kid was damn **cute sometimes!  Admitting he missed two of his friends as if it were something to be ashamed of.  Then Zack's mood soured.  He glanced up at Sephiroth, only to see he was wearing his typical cool non-expression.**

"What do you think, Seph?"

The taller man frowned.  "I think it's great that Cloud's a Natural, but it makes the mystery of why he was blocked all the more glaring.  I'm also worried about what he said of the state of unrest in Wutai.  Cloud has pretty good judgment where potential threats are concerned, for someone his age."

Zack nodded.  "I'm worried about that, too.  Especially since I received reports from Shimo and Andy which seem to say the same thing.  Shimo suspects they've already found a leader, which is why they are showing any unrest at all."

Sephiroth shook his head.  "I have gotten those same reports.  Nothing we can do about it for now, though, but hope Cloud and all those green troops are all out of there before it hits the fan."

*     *     *

Cloud was instantly bolt upright in bed as the ground shook.  Some of the others were also awakened, but most of the platoon slept on.  Cloud, however was alarmed.  He smelled smoke, ozone, and mako, putting him instantly on guard.

/_Bolt spell, close by, hit something flammable,/ he thought.  He couldn't help but hope that it had hit Banford and all his accursed reports.  He jumped out of bed, climbing into his closest set of clothes, the BDUs he'd worn the previous day.  (Shinra BDUs actually aren't really BDUs; they're not camouflaged etc, but they aren't dressy at all while still being Shinra uniform and blue.)_

Cloud scrambled out the door just as Buck Sergeant Ryans ran up.  "Strife!  Get back inside!"  As Cloud jumped back into the room, she came charging in as well.  "Form up!  I don't care what you're wearing, just get in line!"  Everyone complied, with varying degrees of speed and sharpness.  "Okay, you guys.  Ready to march!  We're going down to the armory."  At the uncomfortable rustlings, she looked grimly at them all.  "We're under attack.  Wutai is rising up against the Shinra."

Uncomfortable rustlings became murmurs of dismay and shock.  Someone even whimpered.  Ryans managed to get them out eventually, and they started down the road to the armory at the double.  There were shouts from all around them now, and fires were burning everywhere.

To Cloud, it was like a dream.  The cries of distressed soldiers and the not-so-distant war-cries of the enemy rang without meaning in his ears.  He complied with orders reflexively; had he been told to march straight forward with a steep cliff before him, he would have marched right off.  He took a rifle and handgun mechanically from one of the armory officers, checked them both to ensure they were in working order, then took the ammunition as he was bidden.  Then he waited for everyone else to sort themselves out.

Cloud knew most had joined the Shinra military for reasons similar to his; they'd needed money or housing or education, and the military promised that.  They'd never expected the need to fight.  After all, Shinra had conquered the world and even put down proud Wutai, who else was there to fight?

Wutai, apparently.  And more Wutai.  Wutai, until every man, woman, and child of that too proud nation was dead and gone.

Cloud was better off than most.  He'd been trying to get into SOLDIER, and there was always fighting to be done for a SOLDIER.  He'd long ago gotten used to the thought of killing another human being.  He knew it would be different in practice, but he thought he was doing at least a little better than most of the others in his unit.

They **were still green, after all, and had only a few experienced officers and sergeants.  Lieutenant Jackson was one, as was Buck Sergeant Ryans.  A few other sergeants and an officer here and there, but aside from that, that was all the live combat experience in their platoon, no, in their ****company.  Captain Banford was as green as anyone else.**

/_Damn,/ he thought.  /__We really **are gonna die…/  He regretted that.  He would miss Zack and Sephiroth, and his mom would have no one to take care of her.  He fought back shameful tears at that thought, and steeled himself for battle, even as Ryans ordered them forward to meet with the rest of the company.**_

It was time to fight.  Cloud hoped he took a few of them with him.

*     *     *

Zack was absolutely livid.  The first reports from Wutai had finally come in, and they were not good.  The Wutai forces had attacked in the dead of night, catching the Shinra garrisons at their most vulnerable.  They'd bombed hell out of one of the barracks buildings right off, killing a huge chunk of the forces there, and an even greater percentage of the **experienced fighters.  Zacks sole consolation was that, at the end of Major Shimo's report had been a tiny, non-regulation, hand-written note that read simply: 'he's fine.'**

Zack glared at Sephiroth's back.  The white-haired general was displaying no more than his usual coldness, but it was vastly more annoying than usual.  Zack knew he could not expect the other man to respond the same way to the same situations as he did, but it would have been nice if he'd at least looked less than his perfect self.

"How the hell could the damn regulars be so stupid?!" he demanded, more of himself than of Sephiroth.  "Posting so few on guard duty is suicidal just about everywhere, but in Wutai, it's even worse!  How could they possibly--?"

Sephiroth interrupted.  "They're just regulars, Zack.  They're living off of SOLDIER's accomplishments in Wutai, anyway.  Being lax comes with the territory."

"But still--!"

Sephiroth turned on him abruptly, usually pale green eyes gone emerald with rage, silver hair floating around him, as if he was pulling in a major charge.  Zack reflexively stepped back.  "Shimo already told you he's okay, and we can't do jack squat about past screw-ups by the regulars.  What the hell more do you want me to do?!  You think I'm not worried?  We could lose all of Wutai to this, **and Cloud, and God ****damned Shinra won't even let me send out a ****squad, never mind a force large enough to be successful!"**

Zack was instantly contrite.  He saw that Sephiroth was as worried as he was.  He reached up to brush the taller man's cheek softly.  Sephiroth closed his striking green eyes and turned toward the touch, drawing a long, shuddery breath.  "Sorry, Zack.  I didn't mean to explode like that."

Zack smiled and shook his head.  "It's fine, Seph.  That you **can lose your temper is one of the things that reminds me you're human."  He wrapped his arms around Sephiroth, and sighed sadly.  "I guess this means dinner's off, huh?"**

Sephiroth got a determined look in his eyes.  "Not if I can help it.  I'll go see what the brass buffoon wants me doing about all this, then I'll send you a message.  Remember to check your email!"

Zack grinned at their nickname for Heidegger, then nodded at the reminder to check his mail.  He tended to 'forget' when there was stuff he didn't want to deal with hanging around his account.  Then he and Sephiroth whirled, hands going to weapons, as someone cleared his throat in the office doorway.

/_The new Turk,/ Zack thought.  /__What's-his-face, Reno!/_

The lanky seventeen-year-old Turk stood in the doorway, a cocky grin on his face.  "I don't think the boss'd like to know what you're calling him, y'know?"  The grin took on Zack-ish proportions.  "I **like it!"**

Sephiroth glared suspiciously at him.  "What are you doing here, Turk?" he growled.

Reno shrugged.  "The Prez sent me to get Shinra's war hero, some dude by the name of Sephiroth."  He looked right at Sephiroth, indicating he knew fully well who he was addressing, then went on blithely, "You wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?"  He was giving him a way to dodge the meeting in the upper-level conference room, Sephiroth realized.  His estimation of the Turk went up.

He shrugged though.  "That's me, unfortunately.  Joy.  I get to go face all of that brass and the President at once."

Zack smiled uneasily, still unhappy about getting caught hugging Sephiroth.  "Better you than me, Seph.  Just play nice and don't hurt the other kids **too badly.  No bashing faces in, ne?"**

Sephiroth smiled slightly.  "Yes, mother."

Reno, still in the doorway, grinned.  "So, how long you two been married?"  Zack choked.  Sephiroth glared.  The Turk smiled wider, blithely ignoring their reactions to his question.  Then he sobered with lightning quickness.  "Y'know, I can probably help you guys out a bit."

Zack raised an eyebrow, suspicious.  He wouldn't put it past the Turk to be playing head games with them, or to be seeing how far their loyalty really stretched.  "How so?" he asked.  The Turk flipped his flaming red ponytail over his shoulder with a shrug.

"Cloud," he stated evenly, all traces of the irresponsible jokester gone.  "The Turks are sending someone to Wutai, and it looks like I've been nominated.  I could run messages, or something, if you want."

"Why?" Sephiroth asked.  He was even more suspicious of people than Zack was.

The Turk frowned.  "Well, you know the Turks do some of SOLDIER's recruiting, so we have a pretty good idea of what makes a good SOLDIER.  All of us had Strife marked as an easy SOLDIER second, if not first; even Lark did, and the Boss is one smart lady.  We're **still scratching our heads over how he could possibly have bungled the stage one and three tests, since he passed stage two with flying colors, badly enough to be denied entrance."  He shrugged, and was abruptly the irresponsible prankster again.  "My curiosity's gonna land me in a snug little box six feet down.  Just a character flaw, I guess."**

Sephiroth and Zack looked at each other a moment, oblivious to the tiny hopeful look on the Turk's face.  Slowly a grin spread across Zack's face, and he turned back to Reno.  "I think I have just the thing.  Take Seph to his meeting—," he ignored Sephiroth's half-stifled moan.  "—then meet me in elevator two on the 44th floor at about…"  He checked his watch.  "15:00.  Got it?"

The Turk grinned.  "I'm reading you loud and clear!"

*     *     *

                Well, well, well.  I know the whole business of Naturals is corny, but I decided I needed some way to differentiate SOLDIERs First Class like Sephy-chan and Zack from the cannon fodder SOLDIERs First Class you fight as normal opponents in the game.  It's got something to do with brain waves….but this isn't the 'mind of a SOLDIER' referred to in the previous part.  And Turk fans!  Heeeerrreeeee'ssssss Reno!  Tseng will show up soon, too.  Aa, I better shut up before I betray the whole plot!  But Cloud's limit breaks' origins will be explored, and the Turks will be developed.  All coming up in the next couple parts!  (insert DBZ announcer's voice) Stay tuned for the next episode of (insert me) MY FIC!!!  **Mwahahahahaha!!!**


	6. An Almost Revelation

Yo, minna!  I know it's been a while since I updated….Gomen nasai!!!  We got a virus and I just spent all week making sure all three of our computers and all the discs in the house were clean.  I can say right now that you won't be getting any virii from us!  We are so clean it hurts!

Okay, so here's the fic.  Enjoy and **PLEASE review!  I love all of you who are reviewing.  In fact, I've got a few other stories I may start typing, if you bug me enough!**

*     *     *

Sephiroth stormed across the living room for what had to be the millionth round of pacing.  He knew Zack would get after him for wearing a rut in the carpet, but right now he was having too much fun imagining all the many ways to kill 'Prez' (to use a Renoism) Shinra and that **damned_ bastard Heidegger._**

Now he knew for sure that he wouldn't be allowed to send out any of his men; Shinra had decreed it.  The old fart was so scared of Wutaian assassins that he had ordered all of Midgar's SOLDIERs into standby for the next several days.  It had taken all of his convincing and Laurel of the Turks' cunning to get the President to understand that it was not his place to play personal body guard, that that was the Turks' domain.

Of course, the old man had covered his cowardice with phrases like 'to ensure the safety of our helpless citizens' and the somewhat more cold-blooded 'protecting our resources'.  That one had disturbed both Shinra's current personal secretary and the secretaries of most of the department heads at the meeting, excluding Scarlet's, Heidegger's, and Hojo's.  Scarlet's was as cold-blooded as she was, Heidegger's was stupid, and Hojo was his own secretary.  However, one man in particular, a slim, fairly attractive young man with dark hair and hazel eyes had been particularly disturbed.  Of course, he was with Urban development, and the only reason they were even at the meeting was because the streets and all construction would be affected by these orders.  They had been dismissed early, and the Secretary of Urban Development and the dark-haired man who was **his secretary had quietly, almost gratefully, taken their leave.**

The rest of the meeting didn't bear remembering.  It had been a power struggle as all other Shinra head executive meetings were.  The outcome was unpleasant, as usual, which made it even worse, now that he had a personal stake in the matter…

Thoughts became more pleasant as his mind turned to his personal stake in the matter.  Cloud was really something.  He was beautiful, with sunny gold hair, and deep blue eyes that Sephiroth just **knew would take a purply shade with Mako exposure.  His skin was fair, perfect and unblemished (which Zack bitched about constantly.  He had had a few months of the ****worst acne anyone had ever had when he was about fifteen), and he was very well put together.  All together, he was not just easy on the eyes, he was an absolute eye magnet; which drove Sephiroth, privately, of course, and in his own way, up the walls with jealousy.  He'd seen how Cloud's squad-mates looked at him; they either hated him or lusted after him like nobody's business.**

Sephiroth wanted nothing more than to catch a boat to Wutai, find the blond boy, drag him off to someplace they wouldn't be found, wait a few years until he was legal….

Sephiroth forcefully amputated that thought.  He knew there was no point running himself in frenzied little circles like this, and usually he was better at controlling himself than this, but no amount of internal rationalizing was helping him at this point.  He closed his eyes to attempt one last time to calm himself.

And had a horrid vision of Cloud's too-perfect-to-be-true self bloody and broken and sprawled limply in the red dirt of a foreign battlefield.  He jerked his eyes open with a startled gasp.  That particular private nightmare had always been reserved for Zack, in the past.  It had always been Zack lying mangled and torn, his black hair fanned around him like his blood.  Having Cloud introduced to this corner of his imagination just didn't amuse Sephiroth in the least.

Zack was more unlike him than he was like him.  Sephiroth was reserved, Zack was out-going; Sephiroth was quiet, Zack was loud; Sephiroth was somber and serious constantly, Zack was cheerful and happy.  They were good friends mainly through Zack's sheer will-power, initially, and because they balanced each other out.  Cloud, however, felt like a middle ground.  He wasn't quite as uptight as Sephiroth was, just shy, and not quite as loud as Zack, even once you got on a subject he was interested in.  (On such occasions he talked and talked and **talked, though quietly, and ready to button up again at any moment.)  Sephiroth truly didn't want to see Cloud dead ever, just as he didn't want to see Zack dead.**

Of course, the sick side of his imagination insisted that he did and that it was the greatest gift he could give: freedom from the world of lowly mortals.  Sephiroth periodically got into these fully fledged fights with himself, mainly about things that made him feel strongly.  He'd once asked Zack if he ever fought with himself in his head, or kept up an internal dialogue with himself, and Zack had nodded and said that everyone talked to themselves, argued with themselves, told themselves jokes and the like.  Sephiroth wanted so badly to accept that answer as Truth, but he somehow doubted that Zack got into full-out screaming matches with himself.  That occasionally resulted in migraines, splintered furniture he didn't remember having broken, and, on one occasion, a terrified regular running for cover, leaving Sephiroth to nurse the arm he'd somehow managed to break on an unoffending nearby wall.

Sephiroth turned sharply toward the kitchen, intending to find something to occupy his mind while he waited for the strangely feminine voice in the back of his head to shut up and go away.  He really didn't have anything to do today, anymore, so he figured he'd cook dinner.  He'd been intending to go out someplace with Zack, but now he thought he'd just make the whole meal here.

He dug out the pots and pans, contemplating what to make.  He and Zack did share one thing perfectly in common, or maybe a few; they both had a special weakness for pastries and the fast metabolisms to keep up with high caloric intakes.  Mako enhancement just made them have even faster metabolisms.  Most SOLDIERs could get a short-term buzz by downing like ten shots of something strong in like ten minutes.  Those blessed with naturally fast metabolisms couldn't get buzzed on anything short of rubbing alcohol or a Mako-based designer drug.

Sephiroth thought he would be pretty safe making a  lot of pastries and breads.

A couple hours later, he emerged from the kitchen, with an annoying bit of flour on the tip of his nose, (Kawaii!) to let things rise and bake, and decided to email Zack his message.

_"Zack,_

_Meet me at home at 20:00_

_                        ~Seph"_

Satisfied that the note met his requirements, Sephiroth decided to do a little research.  He had tried to covertly discover the reason for Cloud's rejection from SOLDIER in the past, but he wanted to try again.

Sephiroth flicked into the 'super secure' SOLDIER candidate database like it was public domain, and once again attempted to access Cloud's test results.  He could hack into any other candidate's files, but Cloud's were secured on a level he just wasn't familiar with.  He was not the best hacker in the world, and couldn't access everything, but this particular shortcoming was becoming bothersome.

Sephiroth stared blankly at the screen prompting him to input his password.  The screen stared back.  Sephiroth knew his pass wouldn't work; he'd tried.  He knew also that it had to be one of Hojo's passwords, because the man wouldn't let anyone know he was blocking someone.  But Sephiroth didn't know any of Hojo's passwords.  In fact he knew very little about the man who had 'raised' him, if that was the appropriate term.

He tried one of his 'father's' recent obsessions:

**A-N-C-I-E-N-T-S**

_Access Denied, the computer calmly told him._

He tried his own name, knowing that that had once gotten him into one of Hojo's lower security files, but it had the same results.  He scowled at the computer.  If he tried and failed one more time, he would be booted from the system.  His dear 'father' was entirely too hard to figure out.  He sighed and tried to input his dead mother's name.

**J-E-N-O-V-A**

_Access Granted._

_            Sephiroth's eyes widened as he was admitted into the files at last.  He quickly saved all he could to discs to pore over later, and exited._

            He grinned.  He had the best surprise ever in store for Zack.

            Speaking of which, he probably should go check on the food.

*     *     *

            Zack actually dropped the pastry he was munching.  "You **_what?!" he gasped._**

            Sephiroth smirked.  "Yup," he said, smugly, inhaling his own pastry so not even crumbs remained.

            "And the password was your mother's name?"

            "Yes, Zack."

            "And you actually accessed Spike's files?"

            "Yes, Zack."

            "And saved them to discs?"

            "Yes, Zack."

            "And danced around naked in the bathroom?"

            "No, Zack."

            Zack grinned.  "Shucks.  Just making sure you were awake."

            Sephiroth grinned back.  "I **will dance, if you want me to.  But let's take a peek at those files first, shall we?"**

            Zack nodded and, snatching another pastry, sauntered over to the computer.  Sephiroth followed and sat down in the computer chair.  He called up the files.  Zack, as was often his habit, began to read aloud.

            "Cloud Strife. Age, 14.  Birth Place, Nibelheim.  Hey!  I know Nibelheim!  It's not too far from Gongaga.  It's, like, **way up in the mountains.  You don't really notice it on the way, I'm told, but the village is nearly a mile up, and Mount Nibel is even higher!**

            "Hmmm….Hair, eyes, a simple 'blue' doesn't do them justice at all, height, weight, ethnicity, blood type.  Duh.  Seph, we **know all this!"**

            Sephiroth shrugged and brought up the next file: SOLDIER exams scores.

            "Stage One Scores: 94%.  Comments: Unusual build, but strong enough to handle SOLDIER training and tasks.  Should have a moderate or better reaction to Mako.  Recommendation: Enter Stage Two testing. 

            "Stage Two Score: 198/200, 99%.  Comments:  Highest recorded score.  Indicates possible eidetic memory, and excellent reasoning processes.  Recommendation: Enter Stage Three testing.

            "Stage Three Score: 90%.  Comments: Displays some negative traits such as timidity, in moderation.  Also displays a slight instability Mako might enhance, but risk is negligible.  Displayed some previously undocumented behavior in the Sensory Deprivation chamber, though effects not negative.  Recommendation: Enter Stage Four testing.

            "OVERRULED.  Special Order 44717 filed by Professor Hojo."  Zack paused.  "Seph, what's S.O. 44717?"

            Sephiroth looked grim.  "It means he's marked as a possible future specimen.  Hojo must want to be able to tinker with him himself."

            Zack's silver-blue eyes flared with rage.  "If he so much as **touches Spike, I'm gonna break every bone in his body, and ****damn the consequences!"**

            "Easy, Zack.  We don't know he'll ever try to take him.  He'll probably make his life hell for a while then lose interest.  He's done it before."

            "Mmmm, I guess you're right…Bring up the next file."  Sephiroth did.  It was an audio file: Hojo's personally dictated notes.

            _"This seems to be that bastard Virga Strife's offspring.  Damn him, of course he had to spawn so the creature could torment me even in death.  But he has also provided me with an excellent specimen.  Who would have thought such an idiot could spawn so intelligent a child, a creature who's mental, physical, and aesthetic perfection is rivaled only by my Sephiroth's?!  Perhaps now I will be able to provide my dear 'child' with a more suitable companion than that 'Zax', or whatever his name was.  With this 'Cloud' I could make a second Sephiroth, almost!  I'd have two Sephiroths!  If only the boy was female.  Then I could breed many, many more Sephiroths!  Wouldn't that be wonderful, love?  I know you agree, my beloved Jenova…."_

            Zack had taken on a greenish hue as he heard Hojo speak.  "That," he announced, "is one sick individual."

            Sephiroth nodded agreement.  "Maybe we ought to send another message to Cloud with that Turk, Reno, telling Cloud to watch his back."

            Zack shook his head.  "Reno leaves for Wutai tonight.  It's already too late to catch him."

            Sephiroth rested his head on the desk beside the keyboard.  "Damn."

            Zack mentally sent a prayer to whomever was listening.  /_Please, Spike, be okay.  Come through this.  I would miss you so much if you left us, either because of that war or because of Hojo.  And I don't think Sephiroth would be able to take it at all…/_

*     *     *

            Reno sighed softly to himself as he approached the black chopper waiting to transport him to Wutai.  He had his orders, and that was fine, and he had the letter and package from Zack to deliver, and that was fine, too.  But something was Not Right.

            He'd already checked his nightstick seven times to be sure his weapon was in order.  All his back-up weapons, the handgun, the hold-out guns, the knives, had been checked just as many times.  He saw nothing on the strip that posed a danger to the chopper, and the weather was perfect for flying in.

He wondered if this was about leaving Midgar.  He'd been out before, but never so far away as Wutai.  Could that be it?

But no.  This was not anxiety.  The hair at the nape of his neck was standing on end, his back itched like someone was watching him, and he had that tickle in the back of his mind that always meant _Reno, you are **so screwed.  This was his mind and body informing him that he was in mortal danger, and that he ought to be running ****away from the chopper, not walking steadily toward it.**_

As he drew nearer, he saw a flash of white that didn't belong among the uniforms of the Shinra Air Force.  He unconsciously tensed his arm, releasing the first strap holding one of his hold-out pistols in place, and lifted his nightstick slightly off its relaxed position on his shoulder.  He continued to march, though, not even altering his stride.

"Ah, you're the new Turk, Reno, eh?"  Beady black eyes fixed him with a stare that would have pinned most men in place from behind thick glasses.  Reno took a few more steps before allowing his feet to stop.

"And you're Professor Hojo."

The skinny scientist's eyes raked him up and down and Reno wanted desperately to cover himself up.  His uniform was in its usual disarray, and his hair was as usual, too.  Everything about him was messy and unprofessional, hardly typical of the Turks, but that was the image Reno strove to project, and Hojo's next words proved he'd fallen for it, hook, line, and sinker.

"Well, I'm not terribly impressed with what the Turks recruited this time.  Certainly you'll never be a true replacement for the man you 'replaced'.  He was a true Turk."

Mark, the man Hojo was referring to, had been Lark's second and her good friend.  Tseng had also known him well, and almost idolized him, apparently, all those years ago, when he'd been a rookie like Reno was.  The man had died on a mission less than six months ago, and Reno had been selected to fill in the ranks.  Tseng had become second-in-command.

Of course, Reno wasn't really a rookie at anything.

"Well, sorry to disappoint you, Professor," he hissed, sounding perfectly steamed about that comment, even though he was actually pleased.  "You do realize that civilians aren't allowed here, right?  So why don't you just leave?"

Hojo smiled an oily smile that Reno had to fight not to swing the electrified end of his nightstick into.  "Well, Mister, ah, Reno, I have a little errand for you."

"I ain't your gofer, Hojo."

"Well, really.  This one the President has given me clearance to request.  Which basically means demand.  Since you're going to Wutai, I wondered if you wouldn't bring me back a certain trooper; a Specialist named Strife.  I have certain interests in him and I wondered if you'd be so kind as to retrieve him for me?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Reno replied casually, hiding his real thoughts behind a mask of total nonchalance.

"Good.  I'll be sure to include a bonus for you if you bring him back unharmed," the scientist studied his face intently for a moment.  "You have the most amazing eyes I've ever seen outside of SOLDIER, Mister Reno.  They almost glow.  How fascinating…"  The oily madman left.

Reno entered the chopper as if nothing had happened, even though his mind was running crazy little circles.

/_Oh, Holy, he knows!  Bless my ancestors, he knows about the glow__!/  Reno had had a hard life, and the all-time low had been when he'd been addicted to __glow, a Mako-based drug.  It was like thin sticks of Materia, only not quite so condensed.  It was generally placed on the tongue and allowed to dissolve, and it gave a high like nothing else could, along with a slight Mako-glow in the eyes of long-term users.  Reno had almost died of the withdrawal, but he'd wanted to be clean upon entering the Turks.  Besides, it was a **hugely expensive habit.  **_

But you never really got off _glow, and even though he'd not so much as seen the stuff in over a year, he still ached for it, an aching need he drowned in alcohol, most of the time.  He knew that if Hojo really knew about it, he had him in the palm of his hand.  Show him a stick of it and Reno **knew he'd do anything to get it.**_

Reno was now **sure this was going to be a bad trip. He had stuff to deliver to Cloud Strife, and Hojo wanted him brought in.  How was he going to deal with ****this?  ****Should he turn in the kid?  But then he'd have two all-powerful SOLDIERs after him, intent on turning his hide into a rug.**

But if he didn't, and the President **really knew about and condoned Hojo's 'request', he would probably be forced into retirement.  And Turks don't really retire; they either die doing their duty, or they take swan-dives off the Shinra Tower (read: are pushed to their demise with only the clean-up crew to notice.)**

Reno had kind of hoped to hold this job long enough to earn enough gil to be able to move his family out of the area….

Reno sighed.  It basically came down to self- and family-preservation or doing what was right.  And Turks weren't all that well known for doing good deeds, and were notoriously hard to kill.

*     *     *

Cloud sighed and sank wearily back on his haunches, leaning heavily against the side of the trench he was in. The mud in the bottom squelched half-way up to his knees, but he didn't care. He'd been on the go almost non-stop since that first night of the conflict. He knew he was good, and better off than most of the others, but a week was a bit much, even for him.

Since he was obviously so much better than the others in the company, Banford had thrown him into practically every scuffle, skirmish, and battle from the beginning. Jackson had also been forced to use him more than the man's conscience would easily allow, but where Cloud could save the lives of his squad- and platoon-mates, Cloud went willingly.

Now, though, both sides seemed to be exhausted, for the time being, and the fighting had slackened off while both sides sat back, licked their wounds, and took stock of their situations. And Cloud would have shouted for joy, had he the energy to do so.

It had started raining that first night, just after they had reached the battle lines, and hadn't done more than slack off temporarily since. All the troops were covered in mud from head to toe, so much so that it wad difficult to tell friend from foe. Every step was doubly difficult because of the thick mud, and the slick stones.

All this amounted to two sides which were completely exhausted, and an equally tired Spec Four Cloud Strife.

Cloud wondered how Sephiroth and Zack had withstood this when they had been here. While it was true that the Shinra was having a hard time with Wutai, right now, it was also true that this was nothing like the years-long campaign that had been the Wutai-Shinra war. That had ended only four years ago, but the people of Wutai had apparently decided to try for their freedom **now. Cloud thought that was a mistake. Most of the warriors in Wutai had been killed in the previous war; there was no way they could have recovered enough to wage a truly effective war on the Shinra, whose power had only increased after the defeat of Wutai.**

But these people were proud, and would never remain down for long. And, Cloud admitted to himself, they had picked the best possible opportunity to attack. The SOLDIER garrisons in Wutai had been trimmed down, because Shinra no longer saw Wutai as a credible threat, and most of those regulars who had made it through the war had been promoted out of range to actually do much on the battlefield.

Cloud sighed, and dug out a ration bar. He wrinkled his nose at the taste, but ate anyway. They were basically pure calories and a multivitamin rolled into one. He ate about a third, then wrapped it up again. He could make this one bar last all day, if he had to. He really didn't want to, but he might not get a chance to get mess later, if the enemy acted up again. Cloud knew he looked rather more skeletal than he should have because of his fast metabolism and all the meals he'd skipped and he felt really worn down. He wanted nothing more than a solid eight hours of sleep, and maybe a slice of Sephiroth's home made bread….

Cloud forcefully dragged that thought to a halt. Just the thought of that had made his stomach rumble and his mouth water…

He heard someone calling his name, and jerked out of the light doze he'd managed to attain, one filled with delicious food-smells. He contemplated lashing out at the blurry shape over him, but decided against it. Whoever it was might outrank him. Probably did, in fact, since the whole world of Shinra did.

He blinked blearily up at whoever-it-was, and discovered it was a familiar red-head in an equally familiar blue suit. He jerked upright and thanked the Planet he hadn't tried to hit him.

"Mr. Reno?" he asked. The Turk smiled.

"Hey, kid. Got some mail for ya," he said with a wide grin, tossing a very plain package to him. Cloud didn't even think of protesting the use of 'kid', merely caught the package, and read the note attached. It was from Zack.

The note told him to wait until he was alone to open the package, so he set it aside. His instincts were screaming that the 'gift' was a materia. He could always tell a materia, even through a box; one of the instincts that made him so good at his job. Reno smirked.

"I don't think your friends trust me, ne?" The smirk widened. "Then again,** I wouldn't trust me. But I know it's a materia, so I don't know what he could be trying to hide. It's not even a summon materia."**

Cloud blinked stupidly at Reno. "How would you know?"

The red-head flipped his pony-tail over his shoulder casually. "Hey, I just know, man. I hate materia enough to be able to avoid it."

"You hate materia? How can anyone hate materia?"

Reno smiled with almost frightening solemnity. "**You're in materia sciences; you're ****supposed to like materia. But for me, it just brings back bad memories, ne?" Cloud nodded and pressed no further. Pissing off a Turk was one of the fastest ways for a man to die. The man abruptly smiled again and hefted his nightstick to his shoulder. "Well, now that I'm done playing errand boy, I guess it's time to carry out my big important mission, huh." The Turk eyed him for a minute, then turned and walked away. Cloud's system had jolted full of adrenaline at the look Reno had given him; his work face, Cloud suspected. Why it had been directed at him he couldn't imagine. But it had certainly been scary. That was probably why the man everyone saw as an irresponsible prankster had been made a Turk.**

Just before the Turk stepped out of sight, he turned to look over his shoulder at Cloud. "Oh, yeah. Watch your back, ne? Hojo seems to want you back in Midgar, for some reason." Then he was gone, his blood-red ponytail following like a battle flag behind him.

*     *     *

Reno frowned thoughtfully. He'd decided in the end **not to turn in the blonde. He'd discovered that the decision wasn't really self-preservation versus the right thing; it was self-preservation versus self-preservation ****and doing the right thing. After all, Zack and Sephiroth would kill him just as surely as 'retirement' would.**

He was also beginning to suspect that Hojo had **not gone through official channels. If the President had okayed this mission, the first one to hear about it would have been Lark, and she would have been the one to inform him. The whole thing just didn't gel with his observations of how Shinra worked.**

Of course, if he was wrong, he was dead meat. Which would be kind of detrimental to his younger siblings' health, as well. He figured he'd had his shot at life and screwed it up enough, so he really didn't care about himself if he was 'retired', but his brothers were depending on him, and he didn't want to endanger them.

He began to have second thoughts. Zack and Sephiroth were both honorable enough not to involve his sibs in this, but Hojo would without hesitation. Maybe he **should have taken the blond in…. He was reasonably confident in the fake I.D.s he'd made for his family, but was he confident they'd stand up to a full out investigation by the Shinra?**

Reno sighed. He **did have another mission here, before he could go back to Midgar. He decided that he'd finish his very definitely official mission here, then he'd worry about possibly taking the teenaged Specialist back with him to Midgar.**

*     *     *

Yay!  I hope you had fun reading this!  I sure liked writing it!

            Hey, if anyone wants to draw some art for this fic, feel free.  I would love to see how you all are seeing these things happen.  Not to mention, I love drooling over bishonen…*grin*

            I know the whole drug addiction thing's been done before, but it just fits Reno, ne?  Just you guys wait until you meet his sibs!  In case it wasn't quite clear, Reno hates materia because it reminds him of _glow and he gets cravings from it.  And he is a good guy.  He's just a bad guy, too._

            Now, what could Cloud's little instabilities from the psych exams be?  *grin*  I am **so trying to suck you people in for more.  Shameless self-promotion is my friend!**


	7. SaYoNaRaGoodbye

Hey!  Hishashiburi desu ne?!  I finally managed to boot my father and amoeba-like younger sibling off the Internet long enough to post!!!  Unfortunately, the Internet's still mostly down, so updates will be pretty sporadic.  *sobs and ducks in case any objects are thrown with intent to hurt or kill*  
  Okay, here's the next part.  I **know I labeled this yaoi/shonen-ai, but, for those who haven't been paying attention:  ****_This fic contains yaoi and shonen-ai relationships!  Also, this section in particular begins to hint at a relationship between characters other than Seph, Zack, and Cloud.  It's right at the end, but you can't really skip it since the scene almost means something.  It is non-explicit (this time).  Also, there is a _****character death involved near the end.**

*     *     *

Cloud sank gratefully onto his bedroll, already stripped down to a tank-top and his underwear. He didn't care who might be ogling him; even if Banford had walked in that very moment, Cloud would have just given him the finger, told him it wasn't an invitation, and gone to sleep. He wasn't about to get the only clean thing in his world dirty by wearing his uniform near it. Even without the mud and blood, he'd not changed his clothes in three days and they smelled…a little ripe.

With a contented sigh, Cloud pulled his covers over himself. **He was a little ripe, too, but sleep was beckoning, and he hadn't the will to resist. He reached under his pillow and let his fingers lightly brush the Materia Zack had sent him. Reno had been right, surprisingly; it was not a summon Materia, but a green. Cloud wouldn't have expected Zack to send a Materia in the first place, and if he had, a summon definitely wouldn't be expected. But this Materia might as well be a summon.**

It was a level two Comet Materia. Cloud knew Comet 2 to be one of the most powerful attack spells a Materia could hold, surpassed only by the legendary Ultima and perhaps by the ultra rare Contain spells. To be given a Comet Materia capable of casting Comet 2 was incomprehensible to Cloud's tired mind. He wanted so badly to equip it in one of the slots in his father's blade, but dared not. If someone noticed it, it would automatically be assumed that it was stolen; after all, regulars never carried such high-powered Materia. Most carried little to none, in fact.

Cloud wasn't even sure he had the MP to use it. Maybe a regular Comet….

He sighed wearily, and closed his eyes, ignoring his protesting body. He ached all over from over-exertion, but he was also used to that ache. The sheer relief of being in a horizontal position that didn't mean he was dead, or about to be, in the battlefield was almost too much to bear. He wanted to cry, but refused to let himself. Around him, he heard a few stifled sobs, and his chest ached in sympathy, and his eyes burned with the desire to join those who were finding release in their tears. There was no shame in tears of exhaustion, but Cloud still refused to weep.

He felt a bizarre pride in his fellow soldiers that so few **did cry. Some were too tired, too broken to weep. Some were too proud, or too stoic now. Either way, Cloud judged that his friends, and he would admit them as such now, had come a long way from the painfully inexperienced unit they'd been only weeks ago.**

Cloud drifted off, wondering if he had changed, and, if he had, whether or not Zack and Sephiroth would like the new Cloud Strife.

*     *     *

Sephiroth looked up as a breathless Zack slid into his office. "Seph! Reno's back in Midgar!"

Sephiroth sighed. "Turk procedure dictates that he'll not be allowed out of close observation for at least a day, Zack. We'll have no chance of seeing him until tomorrow."

Zack looked supremely irritated. "I **know that, Seph! What I mean is that Reno's ****in Midgar, as in has been here nearly two days, and has been released. He just called me up to arrange a meeting."**

Sephiroth just about leaped out of his desk. "Why didn't you say so in the first place?! When's the meeting?"

Zack grinned. "I thought that would be your reaction, so I set the meeting for this evening, 18:00 hours, at our place. I figured that, since he already knows where we live, we might as well treat him right, ne? I know you've seen the reports on what it's like in Wutai right now. Rainy is bad even here for a battle, but, as I recall, 'sopping wet' doesn't even begin to describe Wutai in the rainy season. He must be tired."

"He's been in town for two days, already, Zack."

"Yeah, in the Tower with people asking him all sorts of questions, weird doctors giving him full physical and psychological exams, and without even the freedom to go down the block for a donut."

Sephiroth sighed as his stomach loudly inquired how long it had been since he had his last donut, and when the next would be. Zack grinned. "I think we better get off work early today so we can get some food into you before Reno shows up. We **do want you coherent, after all."**

Sephiroth lightly punched Zack's shoulder. "Jerk."

*     *     *

Reno flopped gracelessly onto the chair offered him. He'd never been so happy to be in a normal, ordinary chair before in his life. Well, except when he'd first gotten one, but that was years in the past now. He smirked his usual smirk, knowing he looked little different from before, to those who didn't know him so well. Tseng had noticed, but had said nothing until they were well away from the prying eyes of the Shinra. They were partners now, as the two junior members of the Turks, and had spent hours and hours together. Tseng had even known that the look in Reno's eyes was weariness, not a loss of innocence because of his first loner mission. Reno had killed often enough before; this had been no different. He merely felt tired.

Reno grinned outright at the expectant faces of the two top SOLDIERs. If he hadn't met the kid before, he'd have been a little worried that one little boy could twist the leaders of the most elite force in the Shinra around his finger so completely; having met him, he **knew that he should be worried, but really wasn't. Cloud wasn't even consciously doing anything to them, only being himself. And that seemed to be enough to bring Zack and Sephiroth totally under his control, even if not one of the three realized that it had happened.**

That was why he'd really decided to stick to his original decision to just let the boy go. He doubted these SOLDIERs would let him off easily if he'd turned their friend over to Hojo. He'd not told anyone about Hojo's order, not even Lark, though he'd tell Tseng when they met that night. (Tseng had invited him over to his place, saying he had a nice hot tub he looked like he was in desperate need of.) His gamble seemed to have paid off, because no one had mentioned it. And no one, save maybe Tseng, would ever know how big a gamble that had been, how much he'd risked to do the right thing.

"Well?" Zack finally asked. Reno smiled, hoping it didn't look as tired as he felt.

"I saw him, alright, and delivered your little present."

"How was he?" Sephiroth asked, seemingly as disinterested as ever, but his Mako eyes betrayed him, for they were darkened, indicating that he was suppressing his feelings.

"Alright. Wet, muddy, hungry, run into the ground, and dead tired, but alright. And much bigger.  I swear, he must be at least five-four now.  And blessed Planet, he's buff now!  He must be working out."

"He's been fighting, after all. I imagine just about anyone would fill out if their life depended upon their strength and stamina," Sephiroth said with a nonchalant shrug, though his Mako eyes brightened. Reno shook his head with a smirk.

"Been there, done that, and **I've still got my girly figure." He tossed his ponytail out of his way with one hand, and wished he had something alcoholic. Peering into all these glowing Mako eyes was starting to make him wish for just one stick of glow, and that was a ****bad thing. He would have given a lot to be getting plastered right now to fill up the aching void in himself. He almost didn't notice Sephiroth getting up, but instincts honed on the streets of Midgar would never allow something so potentially important to his next few minutes of life go unnoticed. Sephiroth disappeared through a door and returned a few minutes later with a beer in hand.  He handed it to Reno.**

Reno accepted it gratefully, and downed half of it in one gulp.  Zack was protesting.  "Hey, c'mon now, Seph!  You wouldn't even let **me drink until I was of age, and here you are handing a beer to some seventeen-year-old street punk!  Honestly!"**

Sephiroth just smiled slightly.  "He seemed to need it more than you ever did, Zack.  Turks have it even rougher than SOLDIERs, you know."  Zack grumbled.

Reno sat forward, deciding that it was now time to get down to business.  "Okay, I guess you're gonna want to know what's up in Wutai, ne?  I can't tell you anything **really juicy, since it's all classified, but I know you've not been getting reports from your men, because communications are so screwed up right now."  Sephiroth nodded, as did Zack.  **

"Okay.  Shinra outnumbers the rebels approximately ten-to-one, but they know their land extremely well.  They took out most of the truly experienced troops with the barracks bombing the first night, but, SOLDIER seems to have suffered no losses so far; it's just the regulars that are getting it hard.  Wutai apparently has a black-market supply of Materia, which they're using all over the place.  The two-twenty-third got hammered a few days ago, and almost everyone else is down at least five percent.  The commanders have requested aerial assistance; I don't know if they'll get it.  They've also requested a reallocation of Materia, which they're getting.  Only level two or lower elemental Materia, and a few purple and yellow, though.  I do know that they're getting at least one slash all, a few E. Skills, and cover and preemptive."  Reno shook his head.  "They're screwed anyway.  Unless someone has a dozen or so Contains."

Sephiroth massaged his temples.  "Damn.  It's the Wutai War all over again."

Zack shook his head.  "I hope the brass figure that out before we find ourselves in the same situation again.  We almost lost Wutai the first time around, we don't need to go through that again."  Zack looked at Sephiroth.  "Hey, Seph, D'ya think we could—."  He cut himself off and looked at Reno.  The red-head got the hint.

"Well," he said, rising and finishing his beer in another gulp.  "I better be going.  I got a meeting in a few, and pissing off your partner and senior is not a good idea.  He insists on punctuality, you know?"  He grinned at Sephiroth and Zack.  "Thanks for the beer.  Be seein' ya!"

He sauntered out the door, leaving the two SOLDIERs to their planning.  He was technically cleared to hear anything they might say, save special mission orders, but the Turks and SOLDIER had long ago decided to butt out of each others' business.  Since most other Turks had been SOLDIERs, or would have been if not for Mako sensitivities, they pretty well respected SOLDIER jobs as such, and SOLDIER returned the favor.

Besides, he really **did have to go meet Tseng.  And, even though Tseng was one of the most beautiful men Reno had ever seen, if he'd been joking about that hot tub, the Turks were going to be down another man.**

*     *     *

_(Two weeks later.)_

Sephiroth groaned mentally.  He was so bored!  Even Zack seemed to be suffering, and Zack was usually a party animal.

Oh, yes.  Shinra had decided to hold its usual party in commemoration of the establishment of Shinra, Inc., despite the danger of terrorists, assassins, and the like.  The President had said that they needed to show the 'Wutaian traitors' that Shinra was not afraid of them.

Though, nearly triple security gave the lie to that.  Anyone who couldn't tell that Shinra was jumpy had to be blind, deaf, and witless.  Everyone in the room could feel the anxiety, so the party was sort of…subdued.  The troops slinking around even seemed jumpy; so jumpy that they'd not notice a real threat until someone got killed.

Sephiroth and Zack were watching instead, and hoping that nothing would escape their attention.

They had seen the Turks earlier, clustered around President Shinra as he made his rounds of the guests.  They gave him enough room to look fairly natural, but were all close enough that they could protect him.  Lark would not part from his side, though.  Her short, neat blonde hair was brilliant against her navy suit, and framed her watchful brown eyes.  She was as elusive as any Turk could be, but, from his few run-ins with her, Sephiroth thought she was fully capable of protecting Shinra.

That didn't stop him from worrying, though.  As much as he hated Shinra, to lose the cohesion of the company now would spell disaster in Wutai.  Rebellions would spring up world-wide pretty much overnight.  And, even, or perhaps especially, for a military commander of Sephiroth's caliber, that was one hell of a nightmare.

Sephiroth darted his eyes over at Zack, who met them momentarily, before resuming his silent vigil.  The party was just about ready to end, and nothing had happened so far, so Sephiroth was getting really nervous.  Some might think that the best time to attack would be when there were the most witnesses for a sheer terror effect.  However, Shinra was so famous that **two witnesses would be more than sufficient.  Also, if working with a small party with limited resources, like, oh, say, Wutai, waiting until late so there were fewer obstacles and the Turks were a little more tired was actually advantageous.**

Sephiroth just prayed that the enemy, whoever that was, hadn't thought their plans, if there were any, that far through.

Suddenly, there was a sharp ringing sound, and Sephiroth got his first real entertainment of the evening, as everyone in the room jumped, looking like startled deer.  Sephiroth simply turned to face President Shinra, who had merely tapped his fork on his glass to get everyone's attention.  The President, seemingly oblivious to the near panic he'd just caused, cleared his throat.

"Everyone, I'd like to thank you for coming to my little party."  Sephiroth snorted softly.  It wasn't like anyone had had a choice; attendance was mandatory.  "I hope," he continued. "that you all enjoyed it.  I will be retiring now, though you are all welcome to stay and socialize.  Goodnight."  Polite applause followed his announcement and lasted until he actually left the room, the Turks following obediently behind, or beside, in Lark's case.  As soon as they were gone, a silence fell over the room.  The night had been infinitely more tiring and on-edge than fun, and peoples' faces reflected it.

/_Well, at least it's over,/ he thought.  "C'mon, Zack.  Let's go."_

Just as they were headed for the door, the distinctive sound of gunfire rang out from the hall.  Everyone panicked, even as Sephiroth, Zack, a few scattered SOLDIERs, and some of the security force ran for the door.

*     *     *

"Get down!"  Lark shouted, tackling the President, and covering him with her own body.  Reno's own body was already moving, responding to reflexes created in the Midgar slums and in the hardest few months of training he'd ever had.  He went left as Tseng went right, already bringing up his gun.  He heard Tseng's first shots go off even as he was pulling the trigger on his own weapon.

/_At least fifteen of them,/ his mind calmly informed him.  They obviously had bullet-proof vests on, because they didn't go down immediately.  It took a few shots to take each down.  He saw one raise his gun in the direction of Lark and Shinra, and decided that this whole thing was taking too long._

Calling up the strength and speed of his slightly Mako-enhanced muscles, Reno sprinted at the most direct threat to the President, letting his long legs take him into range with his nightstick.  He swung it viciously, turning the electricity on full, and smiled slightly as the body before him cooked instantly.  He spun and gracefully took out another.  He was trying to get all of them down as quickly as possible, but was well aware that his mind had retained more of the Mako in the _glow than his body had; his body would never be able to keep up with his mind._

Of course, neither would anyone else's.

He got a glimpse of Tseng with his battle fans out and of Lark covering Shinra as he scrambled for the slight cover of a small alcove, planting herself in front of it, and him, before he was back in the fray.  He took out the last man in a long string of now dead or nearly dead targets with an ox-jaw to the side of the throat, just under the jaw, crushing his trachea, and looked further down the hall for more targets.  His eyes widened as he saw one man left standing at the end of the hall with a machine gun.  Reno ran at him desperately, knowing already he wouldn't make it in time.

He threw himself in front of the gun just as it began to fire, but the bullets somehow missed him almost entirely.  He only took two in the shoulder and one in the thigh.  Obviously, this guy wasn't very experienced with a gun of this size.  Still, it was enough to take him to his knees before the assassin.  The gun was still coughing, the only sound now in his pain-filled world.  Until he heard the soft grunt of pain and the sound of bullets striking flesh.

Struggling to a wobbly standing position, he resolved to make one final run on his target, but just as he did so, a black and navy blur shot past him, screaming a Wutaian battle cry.  Tseng dashed to the attacker and used him as a spring board into the air, his limit aura already blooming around him.  The Wutaian Turk threw his steel fans at his target, the extra 'folds' in them opening to turn each fan into a lethal buzz-saw.  The fans neatly decapitated the machine gun man, and whirled back to Tseng like boomerangs, not before also slicing the machine gun itself in half.

Reno smiled slightly; Tseng really was the best.  The dark-haired man helped Reno steady himself and they hobbled over to Lark and the President.  Shinra scampered away into a knot of SOLDIERs with a terrified cry.  Lark didn't move, just lifted her eyes to Tseng and Reno from her place on the floor, in a puddle of blood.  Reno collapsed beside her, the knees of his rumpled suit soaking through with blood.  Her warm brown eyes met his, and she smiled weakly.

"Reno…" she whispered, blood bubbling up in the corner of her mouth.  "It doesn't look like….you'll be the…rookie….for much longer….."  Reno shook his head in violent denial, trying to tell the only semi-good mother-figure he'd had with his eyes what his trembling lips couldn't speak.  She merely smiled up at him, and turned to Tseng.

Tseng stood rigidly, fans closed in his limp grasp, staring down at his boss, at the only woman whose opinion had ever mattered to him.  "Tseng…." the dying woman whispered.  "You're the leader now…..you know?  You…have to keep the President safe…and your other  Turks….."  She looked blankly out at the corpses in the hallway.  "I always…..wanted to go down…doing the job……"  A faint smile touched her lips, then faded and she looked up at Tseng again.  "Tseng….promise me you'll….take care of….my daughter…"  Her eyes were more dead now than alive, but they clung to Tseng's face until he answered.

"I-I swear.  On my honor.  And on the honor of the Turks."

Lark smiled again, and quietly let go of the world.

Tseng fell to his knees, now, and Reno could see the tears trying to escape his eyes.  But Reno felt better.  Lark had died as she'd wanted to die, doing what she was best at, and with dignity.  He rose to his feet, allowing his work face to slide into place, and heard Tseng clamor back up as well.

"Clean those up," Tseng commanded, indicating the bodies of their dead assailants.  Then, he looked at Lark's prone figure.  "Take her to be prepared for burial.  I shall inform her next of kin."  He turned to Reno.  "You are to protect the President until dawn, then I'll take over.  You know how to contact me if anything else happens."

Reno saluted, something he'd never done to any but Lark before and spoke the words hitherto reserved for her.  "Yes, Sir."  Tseng smiled with his usual quiet grace.  Reno went off to his job, work face never flagging.  He extracted the President from SOLDIER's care and lead Shinra to the most secure floors in the tower.  He felt Zack and Sephiroth fall in alongside, and, even as he took responsibility for the most powerful man in the world into his hands, he knew that nothing more would happen that night, not with these two on the case.

More than enough had happened already.

*     *     *

The already quiet room went dead silent as Tseng entered for his shift watching the President.  Zack and Sephiroth stood outside the door to Shinra's bedroom.  Their faces were stony, except for the compassionate eyes set in Zack's face.  The other troops in the room had obviously been chattering nervously, but were now as still and silent as their seniors.

Tseng passed the General of SOLDIER and his second with only a slight nod to tell them he appreciated their assistance.  They'd worked together often enough that that was all that was needed.  He entered the bedroom.

Shinra was asleep in the huge bed, unaware of the early morning light that should have been at the windows, because the heavy steel shutters in place over them blocked it out.  Reno was parked in a corner where he could watch the windows, the door and Shinra all at once.  His nightstick was in his hand in an open threat.

Tseng smiled at him slightly as the door slid shut behind him, and Reno actually smiled back, though his defensive stance never wavered.  Tseng took up a spot beside him without comment, studying his Turk out of the corner of his eye.  Reno looked good, considering all that had happened.  Someone had been in with a powerful Cure Materia, so his wounds had been healed, but Tseng wanted him to rest for a while to recover from the blood loss.  He was pale, and his slightly glowing eyes were a little too bright, but aside from that, he seemed perfectly fine.

"How is he?" Tseng asked of the President.  Reno shrugged, and how he made that movement look as dangerous as hefting his nightstick did was anybody's guess.

"He's tired and rattled by it all.  He's gonna need some assuring when he wakes up, ya know?  He'll probably want a full guard at all times for a while."

Tseng nodded.  "That's fine."  They stood in silence for a while before Tseng spoke again.  "We'll need a new Turk, now.  After I notified Lark's family of her death," he winced mentally as he remembered the stricken look on little Elena's face when she heard of her mother's death, but continued anyway.  "I looked through some files.  I sent some to your computer, and I want you to look through them.  After you get some food and sleep.  You need to be at your best, right now."

Reno nodded in understanding, and made as if to go, but Tseng stopped him for a moment.  "We don't have to break it off, you know.  Until we get another Turk we won't see much of each other, just trading off duties, but once we do get that extra man, we can go back to the usual routine."

Reno smiled slightly.  "You're my boss now, Tseng.  Isn't it generally frowned upon to be sleeping with your boss?"

Tseng shrugged, "Yeah.  Now ask me if I care."  Reno's lips twitched into a wry smile.

"Nah.  Since I already know the answer, it'd be stupid to ask."  He headed for the door.  "I'll go take that nap and a shower, too, I think.  Then I'll look at those files.  See ya in twelve."  The Turk sauntered out the door, maintaining the pretense of energy, despite the fact that he'd been run into the ground by this whole night/morning.  Tseng was proud of the teen and hoped this year wouldn't take another Turk from him.  He would really miss Reno, if he died.

*     *     *

  So, you all like?  I almost couldn't write Lark's death….I made her up and I almost couldn't part with her!  So, tell me, who expected Lark to be our tie in to Elena?  It must just be in the family.  And now we see that Reno and Tseng have been involved, for a little while, anyway.

  Okay, now for the shameless self-promotion: Please read my new fic, _Scenic Route to the Promised Land.  The first story is about Reno and I should be posting it soon.  I'll probably split it into a few parts, since it's pretty long.  It's Reno's story from a ten-year-old orphan all the way through the timeline of __Chi to Ase to Namida.  __Scenic Route will also have Zack and Sephiroth stories, as well as several others.  Please look for it!  
  --Akuma no Tsubasa_


	8. When Comets Fall Like Rain

Hi!  I know, I know, it's been forever, ne?  But this part is longer than previous installments (though, not by much).  See everybody react to the attack on Prez Shinra and how the War is going.  See Cloud make a new limit break! Woohoo!  (has read too many FF8 fics recently.  BTW, please check out Acid Rain and Race Ulfson and their story arc, if you like yaoi with the FF8 characters.  I read their fics at least twice a week.  You better tell them to continue, too!)

*     *     *

The whole Shinra encampment was abuzz with the rumors of the attempt on President Shinra's life. The news was at least a week old, considering how crappy the communications lines were, right now. There seemed to be a few different versions of it floating around, and Cloud could only spot the ones that were obviously propaganda.

The version that had Shinra himself fighting off twenty armed men, with a conspicuous absence of nearby Turks, was one. The one that said that Wutai had taken out the Turks and killed a bunch of SOLDIERs, too, was another. Cloud currently had his money on the one that said Shinra had fled in terror, with the Turks protecting him, and maybe a couple dying. That seemed to him to be the most accurate sounding one floating around, though he hoped none of the Turks had really died. He had a passing mental image of loud, messy, hyperactive Reno lying totally still in a puddle of his own blood, his once-glowing eyes dull and staring. He shuddered, and hoped that was just a thought born of an overactive imagination.

His blue eyes flicked down the hill to where everyone seemed to think the rebels were encamped. He doubted that it was the only place they were dug in at. Of course, he'd overheard Lieutenant Jackson discussing the matter with some of the other officers and senior noncoms, and his arguments had seemed valid enough. The more he thought about them, the more sense they made. **Why would Wutai make only a few large encampments, anyway? They hadn't the manpower to be able to get away with it, unlike the Shinra, and the Wutaian people were nothing, if not good warriors and strategists. Instead, as the Lieutenant had pointed out, wouldn't they spread out over the countryside, so they could always be picking off Shinra troops, but the Shinra could only inflict minimal casualties on them?**

Cloud sighed and listlessly glanced at the papers he'd made up to outline his Materia reallocations. He'd already checked them five times, he doubted he'd find anything wrong with them now. He'd really not gotten much worthwhile Materia, but he'd done the necessary reallocating with his usual precision. The only Materia left were a couple of MP Plus, which no one had really needed and no one had wanted, either. He'd taken them himself, and discovered that they were actually **mastered. Together, they had been more than enough to max out his MP. Now, of course, he had more than enough MP to cast a Comet 2. He could even cast several! Of course, that wouldn't help him unless the enemy actually showed themselves.**

Cloud tucked the papers away, peering out into the dark. The moon was only a sliver, half-hidden behind the shredded trails of silvery clouds, and didn't provide much light to see by. Once again, he wished he'd made SOLDIER. He wouldn't be stuck here, first of all. And even if he was, he'd be able to see more than two inches in front of his face. He didn't like this darkness. It felt…ominous, tense, like a stalking cougar readying itself for the lunge, and the kill.

He combed the whole of the area he could see with his eyes, trying to pick out human shadows from the tricks of a dark night. Truly, having this sliver of moon was worse than having none at all, because there **were shadows that could startle anybody, including Cloud, into raising a false alarm.**

Cloud twitched suddenly. He'd **heard something. There had been a sound like the wind in the grass, a snap of a twig like an animal had stepped on it. Alone, these sounds didn't seem like much, but they'd happened so close together…. He hesitated, though. If he now raised the alarm, and it proved false, the Wutaian rebels would have the chance to slip into camp. He quickly shook his watch partner, Ray, and whispered his suspicions in his ear. Ray had heard the sounds, too, apparently, and agreed with Cloud's evaluation. Potential threat, alert someone higher-up ****now, in case something was going to happen. Ray very carefully eased his rifle into a slightly better firing position, and Cloud readied himself for the short, dark, dangerous jog into the main camp.**

Most false alarms didn't make it to camp because the rebels were picking off runners left and right. If they really had something going down here, Cloud was in for a really scary run, here. Ray offered to run for him, but Cloud wouldn't hear of it. He was faster and stronger than Ray, especially since Ray had just recently recovered from a deep laceration to the left thigh. Cloud steeled himself and took off into the gloom toward the cheery campfires. Cloud himself would have hesitated to light fires, since they silhouetted people far too well, but the massed Shinra forces were 'untouchable' and didn't have to worry.

Cloud suddenly heard that sound like wind again, and forced his legs into faster motion. There was no wind here. Suddenly, a heavy weight crashed into him, and a knife gleamed near his throat. The only thing that saved him was his own knife and his 'loner's sense'. Cloud had always been able to tell when someone was intruding into his personal space, and the feeling of someone in his space bubble had alerted him just in time to get his knife out and up.

Cloud and his assailant struggled on the ground for several moments before Cloud became aware that other silent shadows were running past them towards the camp. They had so much surprise on their side, the Shinra would never know what hit them before the rebels flitted into the night again. Cloud did the only thing he could.

The Wutaian rebel actually flinched at the piercing, high-pitched scream that issued from Cloud's throat. He knew that any sort of scream would instantly have the Shinra camp on their feet, and rifles in hands. Then Cloud changed his scream into a shout. "'Ware! 'Ware! Rebels!"

The rebel atop him instantly swooped for his throat with his wicked blade, and it scored deeply into Cloud's tender throat, but the moment of distraction had been all Cloud needed. He kicked the other in the groin, hearing a breathless cry of pain, and shoved his assailant off of him. His own knife drew across the other's throat laterally, opening not the windpipe, but the arteries. The man shrieked, but Cloud didn't care what sort of noise he made; he wouldn't be making it long. Cloud noticed that the now just whimpering rebel was only about thirteen. Wutaian war had always been hard on the younger generations.

Just then, Ray came running up. One side of his face was dark and shiny under the pale moon; blood from a cut above his eyebrow. "You okay, Strife? Was that you screaming? Sounded like a woman, man! Scared me to death!" The man touched his bloody face, sobering. He'd grown up from when he'd talked to Cloud in the gym after the SOLDIER testing so long ago. "I took care of the one that tried to jump me; looks like you got yours, too. We need to get to camp. I just hope no one mistakes us for the enemy and blows our heads off!"

Cloud nodded, ignoring the pain in his throat, and jogged after Ray.

*     *     *

Hours later, Cloud crouched in a messy corner of one of the trenches, covered in mud, trying to keep his rifle clean as best he could. It was one of the new Mako guns, so he didn't have to worry about getting any powder wet, or gumming up the mechanism, but it still kicked, and he did **not want the damn thing slipping out of his hands when he fired it.**

His throat still hurt, since he'd had to use a potion, instead of a spell to heal it, but it was closed just as efficiently as any Materia could have sealed it. Now his main complaints were lack of sleep, food, and a dull soreness from being crouched in a trench all day. Oh, yes; the sun was up, but the fighting continued. Apparently, Wutai had massed its forces for this battle. Cloud and Ray had stolen the surprise from them, but the Shinra forces had still been hit hard.

SOLDIER had taken its first casualties. A whole squad had been wiped out. Cloud had no doubt that they'd given better than they got, but Cloud still felt the pang of loss. He'd not known any of them, fortunately, but he felt closer to them than he did to the other regulars, for the most part. He also felt the huge blow to morale every other regular had suffered. SOLDIER was supposed to be unstoppable, and that had kept them all going, knowing that **somehow they'd win in the end.**

Now, even the might of Shinra's super-elite seemed less than adequate.

Cloud glanced over at Ray, worried. He could only imagine how his friend must have been suffering. Fortunately for Cloud's conscience, Ray seemed to have lapsed into that state where you're too tired to realize you hurt, and too tired to care if you do. None-the-less, Ray was positively **wired. The medics, and anyone else who could, had been around with the hypers. They were the only things keeping the forces from simply keeling over with weariness and low morale. Everyone knew intellectually that the Wutaians were grinding themselves into nothingness with their continued assault on the much larger Shinra armies, but that didn't help anyone's aching bodies, empty bellies, or shell-shocked minds.**

Cloud heard the sound of renewed battle rippling down the lines toward their own position, and forced himself, stumbling, to his feet. While he was in better shape than most of the other troops, trained with SOLDIERs, and had a will that could carry him through most hardships, so long as it lasted, he was still on the verge of collapse. He dimly wondered how Ray, beside him, managed to rise time and again. Maybe he just responded really well to hypers? Cloud had had refused them, because he got 'excessively violent' when on them, and knew that none of the medics were bothering to check medical records right now.

The most horrible part of all of this was that right now the Shinra was being driven back. Even as Cloud and Ray stood and leveled their Mako rifles, a section of the line to their left started to cave. The two of them fired into the first few Wutaian warriors they saw, then were forced to fight with bayonets. This was the true reason the Rebels were winning; Shinra didn't stress close up combat anymore, but that was where the natives truly shone. They were taught martial arts of all kinds from a young age, and made good use of that expertise.

Of course, Cloud, like any SOLDIER, had received hours of training in hand-to-hand. He'd been teaching some to the other members of his platoon as he could, so Ray had some additional training, not to mention a surprising arsenal of dirty tricks he'd picked up someplace.

They waded into the battle together, bayonets, knives, rifle-butts, and fists flying.

*     *     *

Cloud shuddered in the bitter wind.  **Hours of fighting, and finally something had changed.  The weather, for one.  For the other, Wutai had called up reinforcements.**

**R-e-i-n-f-o-r-c-e-m-e-n-t-s.**

It was no longer raining, at least.  It was the only bright spot Cloud could find in this whole mess.  The wind had picked up, the sun was setting again so it was getting cold, and Cloud now had a nice scar on his ribs where a Wutaian sword-a **sword, damn it!-had cut him when he was out of potions.  By the time the medics had gotten to him, the wound was too old to heal seamlessly.**

Cloud was currently taking a few moments of rest, just enough to gulp down part of an M.R.E. and some water.  Cloud actually liked M.R.E.s, but he was too tired and pissed to even try to focus on the food.  He felt his age, for once; just a tired little boy who wanted to go home and curl up in his mother's lap.  He suppressed weary tears, and took another bite of the 'fruit cake' thingy he was munching.  Just because he liked M.R.E.s didn't mean they looked or tasted anything like what they were supposed to be.

Cloud was also repressing the urge to march down to the battle and let loose a battle rage.  Currently, the little box attached to his forearm that displayed his status was indicating only the status effect 'fury'.  Hypers were generally given to induce that effect, but Cloud was running on just the rage of a teenage boy who was sick of being picked on.  At least the bullies home in Nibelheim hadn't been able to kill him or his friends.  Now he was stuck in a real fight, and he wondered if he should have listened to his mother and avoided the military.

Cloud was lost in the grim circle of his thoughts and almost didn't notice someone approaching.  Only when they stepped into Cloud's 'space bubble' did he notice, and he instantly had his knife out and ready to strike.

Major Shimo smiled slightly.  He'd thought he could sneak up on the brooding young man, but the sudden gleam of Cloud's trusty knife had proven the blond was a little more alert than he'd thought.  That was good.  Shimo really wanted to be filling out recommendation forms for the blond in a few months' time.  If the boy didn't make SOLDIER after all this, Shimo knew there was a whole garrison of SOLDIERs that would take issue with the higher-ups.

The major sat down next to the spiky-haired youth, and watched out of the corner of his eye as he eased the blade back into concealment.  Shimo never could figure out where the thing was hidden or how Cloud could get it out so easily, so he left it as one of the mysteries of the universe.

Cloud's blue eyes were looking at him from under blond bangs, and Shimo turned his own pale eyes to the boy.  He decided to start right in.  "Strife.  According to Colonel Andrews, the forces at Xi-Fe-Xiu are not enough to put down Wutai."  He saw the blue eyes darken almost to violet, and paused, allowing the implications to sink in.  Strife nodded, his face as impassive as Shimo's own.  Shimo continued.  "The Colonel is calling the other Wutai-based armies up as fast as possible.  They've been on the way since the President released the freeze on SOLDIER, but now they're headed here on the double.  Even so, we won't get any reinforcement until late tomorrow."  Again Cloud nodded.

"Strife, according to Colonel Zack, you have in your possession a powerful Materia."  He saw the boy tense in response, and took that as an affirmative.  "He says also that you may be reluctant to use it, because it **is so powerful.  Cloud," he said, leaning closer, using his first name for emphasis.  "We ****must hold until tomorrow.  All the SOLDIERs here have been ordered to equip their Materia.  We have mastered elemental Materia, and a few weaker Summons, but every bit helps.  I've talked to Lieutenant Jackson, and he said you're to use whatever this Materia is as you deem necessary."**

Cloud stared at Shimo, eyes wide.  They were **ordering him to use the Comet Materia?!  He dumbly nodded his understanding of the order, realized that this was a Major in SOLDIER he was nodding stupidly at, and jerked to his feet.**

Shimo shook his head, watching Cloud nearly trip over himself to salute, and caught the hand as it was coming up, and put it back at Cloud's side.  Cloud blinked, puzzled.  Shimo shrugged slightly.  "Jackson also said that you were to get some shuteye tonight.  The rebels have pretty much ground to a halt for the night, anyway."  He turned and walked away from the little patch of dirt the regulars were using as a mess, calling behind him, "I'll make that an order if I have to, Strife!"

Cloud stood unmoving for several long moments, the few others in the 'mess hall' staring at him.  Cloud finally gathered up his mess kit, and tottered off to find out where they had stashed the stuff from his platoon.

*     *     *

Cloud stretched languidly as he left the tent erected for his squad.  Since they were hot-cotting, and most didn't even get to do that, it had been deserted all night, and Cloud had slept like the dead.  His body thus refreshed, though his mind was already weary of the war again, Cloud made ready to face another day.  His rifle was clean, he wore a not-quite-as-dirty-as-the-last-one uniform, his knife was in its sheath, and his father's sword, which he'd not dared to carry to battle yet, was strapped to his back.  It was sharpened and polished like a mirror and contained only Cloud's All-Earth combination.  He had an Earth Materia in his rifle and the MP Plus Materia were in his Dragon Armlet.  Comet was in the little bag on his belt.  Even with okays from Shimo and Jackson, Cloud was wary of displaying the Materia for all to see.

Cloud felt eyes on him as he walked to Lieutenant Jackson's tent to report for the day.  He ignored them, straightening his back and holding his chin high.  The weight of the sword on his back was comforting, and his recharged Mako rifle was another familiar presence.  He was ready.  He hoped.

Gathering himself for a moment outside the tent, Cloud quickly calmed himself down.  He rapped on the wooden frame of the tent, and entered when he was acknowledged.  He lifted the flap and stepped inside.  Then he stood, face still, mind reeling, as he took in his surroundings, and his commander.

Lieutenant Jackson sat on a hard folding chair behind a card-table littered with papers of all kinds.  His eyes were circled with black, and he looked sunken and pale.  His eyes met Cloud's, quietly reading the horror growing in their blue depths, and accepting it.

Cloud's gaze flitted to the table, looking at the paperwork that had been draining so much out of his normally vital commander.  He blinked and stared;  this work shouldn't be sitting on Jackson's 'desk', this was what Banford was supposed to be doing!

Eyes full of controlled rage, Cloud looked back up at the Lieutenant, and came to a perfect attention, an equally exact salute rising to his brow.  "Sir," Cloud began crisply, mentally increasing his opinion of Jackson several notches, and decreasing Banford's equally.  "Specialist Strife, reporting."  He tried to show all his respect, all his concern, and all his confidence in the other all in that one sentence, expecting it to be misread totally, but Jackson smiled gratefully at him for a moment and indicated that Cloud should sit down.  Cloud obediently did so.

Jackson's eyes raked over him appraisingly, taking in his less dirty appearance.  Cloud sat still, and waited.  Finally, Jackson spoke.  "You look much better today, Strife.  That's good, because we're going to need you."

Cloud sat up straighter, no mean feat with the sword still on his back.  "I'm ready, sir," he said very softly, unwilling to break the relative peace of the tent's interior.

Jackson chuckled.  "Good.  I take it that Major Shimo has already spoken with you?" At Cloud's nod, he continued.  "I've ordered all of our troops possessing a level two or higher offensive Materia to equip it and be ready to use it.  If you really do have as strong a Materia as Shimo suggests, I **do not want you using it indiscriminately."**

Cloud understood that, and nodded.  Jackson nodded back, face grave.  "Strife, we know that the enemy knows that we've got reinforcements due today.  They hadn't the strength last night to continue their assault, and had to stop, but they know they must wipe us out sometime before noon today or their flanks and rear will be assaulted by fresh troops from Xiun-weh and Kari-Sarhat.  They will attempt to wipe us out in a massed engagement.  **That is when I want you to use this Materia.  Do you follow me?"**

Cloud understood.  /_Wait until the enemy is focused on the attack, desperate, and confident that they've seen all we have, then kick 'em hard with all we've got./  "I understand, sir."_

"Good."  Jackson leaned back in his chair, and it creaked ominously under his weight.  Jackson grimaced.  That sounded about how he felt, carrying all this responsibility he was never meant to have.  /_Planet's sake, I shoulda never left the enlisted ranks.  I just hate being an officer, sometimes.  Sending kids like Strife and Ricardo Ramirez to what's probably going to be their deaths…/_

"Well, I suggest you get out there, Strife.  Wouldn't want our friends to start feeling lonely, would we?  Dismissed."  Jackson's voice held a blessed spark of humor, and Cloud smiled and stood, saluting.

"Yes, sir!" he said and went out to the front of the battle, enthusiasm shriveling when confronted with the reality of war, leaving only the desire to survive.

*     *     *

Cloud felt the wind change suddenly, and looked across the field that had become the main battle ground.  The blood ran out of his face as he looked on a roiling sea of Wutaian troops surging across the battle field toward the main Shinra forces.  It was only a couple hours shy of noon, and up until now there'd been little real fighting.  Even though Cloud **knew it was too much to hope for, he had secretly wished that the enemy commander would miscalculate the time he had with which to deal with the foes before him.  A couple hours, though, was more than enough time to at least severely damage the remaining army before the natives had to fight their way out, or vanished into the countryside.**

Cloud heard the soft clinking sounds of Materia being checked in their slots, and the steady roll of the approaching army's feet.  But under that sound, he could hear the sound of other feet approaching, and turned his head.

Up the incline, marched column after column of SOLDIERs, Shinra and unit banners flying.  He recognized some, didn't most, but was glad to see all of them.  They formed up along the ridge alongside the regulars who had Materia.  The rest of the troops, regardless of company or platoon, had been formed up at the base of the steep slope, ready to charge, once the advancing tide was within range.  The SOLDIERs would charge once they were in range, too, but they would fire off volley after volley of spells in the meantime.

Unless the other forces started to lose horribly, Cloud and those others with him were to stay put.  Cloud knew some resented that, while others were guiltily grateful.  He himself was just confused about what he should be feeling.  He felt like he should be happy over being likely to survive, angry at not having a shot at glory, and nervous over the upcoming battle, but none of these feelings surfaced.  He felt only the wild joy of one already celebrating their victory, and a deep sickness of some impending….something.  A distant threat that seemed to get closer by the moment, yet not entirely something to be feared.

Oh, yes, he was one very confused little soldier.  Of course, there wasn't much he could do about it **now.**

Cloud watched as the SOLDIERs, with their greater control and range, fired off their first spells.  Several minutes later, the regulars opened up.  Cloud, however, waited, conserving his MP until all of the enemy force, or, as much as possible, was in range.  The forces below began to move, and Cloud spared a momentary prayer for Ray, in the front of the charging army, before winding up for his spell.

He took a deep steadying breath, and pulled off one of his gloves.  That hand then went for the cool green Materia in his belt-pouch and retrieved it.  He held it in his naked hand and raised it to his eye level, studying it carefully for flaws.  What he was about to attempt was **not something he'd do with a flawed orb.  But Zack's gift was every bit as perfect as he could have wished.**

"Okay, buddy," he whispered to it, hoping that Zack and Sephiroth knew he was thinking of them, somehow.  "Don't let me down…!"

Using all the power of his MP Plus Materia, and all of his own personal strength, Cloud bent his will upon the orb shining in his hand, activating it using the usual amount of MP required to cast Comet 2, but not allowing it to come.  He contained the power inside the Materia, pouring all his power into it as quickly as he could, which was still so slow.  He wanted to hurry, to get it over with, but that would hurt, and he couldn't afford to hurt himself now and lose control of the spell.  He would need all his power for the end, anyway.

Minutes went by as Cloud poured all his mental energies into the gem.  Shimo, nearby, had noticed the there were no unduly powerful spells going off, and went to check on Cloud.  He found the blond, unmoving, eyes closed, a green orb in his bare right hand.  Peering closer, Shimo realized that it was a Comet Materia, and took a step back.  Cloud had a **Comet?**

Then he realized what Cloud was doing with said Comet Materia.  The spell never came, but the Materia glowed brighter and incrementally brighter with each passing moment.  Cloud was **holding the spell!**

Shimo lurched forward, more than half-intending to stop him.  Then he froze, an uncharacteristic wave of indecision paralyzing him.  If he interfered now, Cloud would lose control over the gathering energy in his hand.  While losing control now would be better than losing control later, Cloud had already put over two hundred MP into this spell.  Maybe he wouldn't lose it.  It was possible, after all.

But where the hell had a mere fourteen-year-old specialist in Shinra's regular army learned how to hold a spell?!  Rationality kicked in again when he remembered that cloud specialized in Mako Sciences.  He probably knew more about the use of Materia the Shimo, with all his years of experience, did.

Cloud, meanwhile, was lost in the act of pouring all his strength into the orb clutched in his hand.  Now he was pulling on it as much as it on him.  He'd now pushed over 500 MP into the thing, and could feel it responding, albeit sluggishly, to his will.

It was a well known theory that Materia contained only a small amount of the power the Ancients had had.  People thought there was only so much power that could be contained in a small sphere, and, to some extent, that was correct.  Most SOLDIERs learned a little about putting extra power into a spell to amplify its affect, thus, they had greater effective ranges on their spells.  What most people never thought about was that the power of the Ancients was that of the Lifestream, and Mako was condensed Lifestream energy, and Materia were condensed Mako.

A small Materia could hold far more power that a living being of comparable size and mass.

Another thing people, even SOLDIERs, didn't realize, was that Materia had spell levels beyond what could usually be tapped.  Some even had three or four more levels than were apparent.  Like the element-based Materia.  They were generally stable up to level 6: Fire 6, Ice 6, Bolt 6, Quake 6, Bio 6, and so forth.  When tapping the absolute highest spell a Materia could muster, however, the spell, and the Materia itself, destabilized, resulting in the loss of the Materia, and the release of most of its power in a spell of unimaginable magnitude.  Where the rest of the power went, no one knew, but people who had drawn a Materia that completely usually experienced a period of…well, insanity.  Some were psychotic forever afterward.

Cloud, at this point, couldn't even spare the attention to pray for himself.  He'd done all his praying when he'd settled on this crazy idea, anyway.  Perhaps he was already operating on a sort of insanity, but he didn't want Wutai defeated, he wanted them **gone.  And that was exactly what he intended to do to them.**

He poured the last of his MP into the green orb, and could tell by the light filtering through his eyelids that it was glowing as brightly as if he held a small star in his hand.  Then he reached inside the Materia with all that remained of his will and pulled the most powerful spell he could from it.  He knew immediately that it was not **the spell, but all the extra MP he'd fed it would make up for that.  Besides, it'd be a shame to destroy Zack's gift already.**

Then, as he coaxed the spell out, he felt it.  Like shards of hot glass running through his veins and arteries, even into delicate capillaries, starting at that point where his hand came in contact with the glowing orb.  His body felt like it was being torn apart cell by cell, but he dared not let go of the gem.  He pressed it to his chest instead, trying to, by that solitary pressure alone, stifle the cry of agony the welled from deep within him.  As he finally let go of the cry, the spell at last materialized, thousands of burning, icy comets screaming down from a sky gone pitch black.  He threw back his head, and his keening wail of pain became a valkyrie shriek of ecstasy, as the torment not so much left as became oddly normal.

The ground finally stopped shaking with the impact of Cloud's spell, but Cloud didn't even notice.  Instead he was feeling his empty hand pressed against his chest, and a strange, cool, smooth weight inside himself.  He reached for it, and got the impression of comets, of meteors tumbling through space, but he couldn't harness them.  They were where his level three limit breaks should have gone.

/_Bahamut's scales!  The Materia is **inside me now?  What do I tell Zack?  That he's gotta cut me open to get his Materia back, and even that might not work?/  He fought back a sob at his thoughts.  But only his thoughts tormented him now.  His body felt wonderfully ****alive, and he buried his mind in the sensations of his body.**_

And he heard the Wutai army still out there.

His eyes flew open, and narrowed to slits as he watched the back end of the enemy army regrouping.  It never even occurred to him to wonder how he could see them so well at this distance.  He was overcome with his rage, his **need to destroy that army.  He unslung the sword from his back, loving how it felt feather-light, and perfectly balanced, not that slightly awkward feel it had had before.  He started toward the battlefield.**

Shimo had been wondering why Cloud was putting so much power into a Comet 2.  Sure, he'd obliterate whatever he hit, but he could never hit them all with a limited number of comets.

After the spell, his jaw hung slack with surprise.  He'd never known such a thing was possible, and he whipped his grey eyes back to the young blond in disbelief.  Cloud was very pale, and swayed slightly on his feet; the Materia was no where to be seen.

Cloud's eyes suddenly snapped open, and he pulled his huge SOLDIER type sword from his back, starting down the rise with murderous intent outlined in every muscle of his body.  Suddenly realizing that Cloud was intent on chasing down and murdering every last one of the remaining rebels, Shimo placed himself in his path.

Cloud casually reached out with one hand and shoved Shimo backwards.  He landed in a heap, wondering disjointedly where Cloud had gotten the strength to do that.  He looked up at the teen to discover him glaring coldly at him.  His face was expressionless, except for a cold determination to carry out is mission.  Shimo sat shivering on the ground long after the specialist had left one image stuck in his head.

Cloud's purple-tinted, glowing, Mako eyes.

*     *     *

Well, here we are!  I hope you all enjoyed this!  I'm really having fun making up my own branch of science, here!  Hehehe!  I got Cloud his Mako eyes in an unorthodox way, didn't I?  Who says everything happened in Hojo-slimy-bastard-madman's labs?

Self promotion here:  Please review _Scenic Route!  I need encouragement to keep going.  I have part of the next part ready, but, encouragement's always cool!  For those who have reviewed: ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU…..MUCHOS GRACIAS…etc._

Also check out my new original work, _The Face the Mirror Wears!_

Ja ne!

--Akuma no Tsubasa


	9. Hard Feelings? Hell, Yeah!

Hi Minna!

It's been **forever since I updated this, but it hasn't died yet!  And it won't, if I can help it.  I hope you all enjoy this next part!  And Zack x Sephy fans: ****please don't kill me!  It'll be okay in the end…really!**

Well, in this part, we discover Zack's new relationship, and get an insight into how poor Cloud is taking the aftereffects of the war and the rearrangement of his universe.

*     *     *

_ (one month later)_

Zack and Sephiroth stood side-by-side, pointedly not looking at each other or speaking.  Part of that was anxiety.  The vast majority of it was their recent 'break up'.  Zack really didn't consider things over and done with between himself and Sephiroth, and they'd barely even begun with Cloud, but he'd finally met the absolute perfect girl, and he just **couldn't pass her up.**

The look on Sephiroth's face, though, when he'd told him…Zack almost hated himself for causing that much pain in his best friend.  Then he almost hated Sephiroth for making him feel guilty about one of the best things that had ever happened to him.  He'd tried to tell him about Aeris, about how special she was, but Sephiroth was determined to deal with his pain the usual way; by pushing it into a far recess of his psyche and freezing out the source of the pain.

He prayed to anybody who might be listening that Cloud could pick up Sephiroth's spirits, just a little.  Maybe the blond could even convince him to forgive his truly remorseful friend, one day.

Ha, like that was happening.  Sephiroth had a truly astounding capacity for grudge carrying.

Still, even with all the recent trauma in his personal life, Zack was eager to see Cloud again, and he knew Sephiroth was too.  Why else would they be standing together in the biting wind, waiting for a rickety old personnel carrier to finish docking, in the hours before dawn?  There were others there, of course, all waiting for the same ship to release the loved ones they'd not seen in months.

Zack felt a stirring of unease in the pit of his belly.  He'd seen Major Shimo's report of the final decisive battle of the uprising, which, for reasons made obvious by the report, was being called the 'Meteor Rain'.  He knew that that devastating attack had been torn from the Materia he'd given to Cloud, and he knew about the effects it had had on the boy; the near-insane rage that had resulted in one teen-aged, blond, specialist chasing after the whole Wutai army, alone, waving a gigantic sword in one hand as if it were weightless.  The only reason Cloud hadn't been instantly pitched out of the army on his butt was that he'd basically just saved the day.  And because now-Captain Jackson had been dead set on protecting him. 

Zack allowed a tiny smile to grace his lips at the thought of Jackson's promotion.  Jackson had seemed like a reasonable guy, and Banford had pissed him off long before he'd even known the name of the tiny blond kid he'd been molesting.  He somehow doubted many people were going to attend Banford's funeral.  Oh, yes, Banford had died horribly nearly a month ago.  In a small skirmish to mop up the last resistance, not even an important battle, really, Banford had been hit by bit of shrapnel.  His face had been made unrecognizable, but he had survived that.  It had been the sharp sliver that had lodged itself in his belly that had killed him, and it had taken him two hideous days to die.

Yes, some days Zack just felt like singing.  (Of course, he wouldn't dare.  He was already in the dog house with Sephiroth; inflicting his singing voice upon someone with Sephiroth's perfect pitch was just cruel.  Besides, Zack kinda wanted to survive to see Cloud again.)

Zack couldn't help, though, the little spike of anxiety in him at the thought of the differences he might see in Cloud.  While the kid had never been entirely innocent, he'd just waded through a war, and gone half-mad with Materia overdraw.  Zack wasn't sure what to expect Cloud to be like now.  However, he firmly squelched his uneasiness, watching the transport finish its docking maneuvers and the ramp swing down.  Tired looking troops walked down the ramp.  Zack had seen many of these men before, and was struck by how different they now were.  Their immaculate uniforms were gone, replaced with worn clothing of mismatched sizes and styles.  Many now bore battle scars, and moved with the confident watchfulness of seasoned fighters.  They all also broke out into joyous shouts and grins as they saw families and friends waiting for them on the dock.

Zack did not see Cloud.

The SOLDIER troops that were being rotated back into Midgar followed the regulars, and that was where Zack finally spotted the blond.  He was walking easily beside one of the officers.  He wore, to Zack's surprise, most of an old-style SOLDIER uniform, as opposed to the color-coded new one, including most of the armor.  He had the standard Shinra rifle in the crook of his arm, and wore a trooper's boots (probably because he couldn't find SOLDIER boots the right size), and his sword was slung across his back.  Materia of all colors sparkled in the bangles he wore and in the slots on his sword.  His ponytail had grown out past his shoulders, but still spiked proudly.  He was several inches taller, and had a lot more muscle on his frame.  He was still short though, and had to look up at the SOLDIERs beside him as they talked.  As he did so, the motion gave Zack a good view of a Wutaian Chocobo feather ornament in his hair.

Sephiroth beside him, stepped forward slightly, and Zack followed suit.  The SOLDIERs halted, stared a moment, then saluted their commanders.  Cloud followed suit, hand starting to come up in the SOLDIER salute, too, before changing into the salute typical of the Shinra Army.  Sephiroth and Zack saluted back, then Zack abandoned all pretense of propriety and bounded across the intervening distance to scoop Cloud into a bear hug.

"Spike!" he exclaimed, beaming from ear-to-ear.  "How are you?  It's so good to have you back!"

Cloud blushed.  Apparently, six months living with a bunch of dirty soldiers on the frontlines of a bloody conflict hadn't made him any less shy about physical contact.  Zack didn't know whether to be happy or sad.  Of course, since he now had a girlfriend, the point was pretty much moot.

Gasping as he was crushed in Zack's fierce embrace, Cloud managed to choke out, "I'll be better when I can breathe, Zack!  Leggo!"

Zack pretended that he was hurt by the words as he let go.  "Aw, Spike doesn't like me anymore?"

Cloud flushed again, and averted his bright blue eyes before Zack could study just how bright they were.  He squirmed, and started playing with a wicked looking combat knife that was sheathed in his belt.  Zack grinned.  "Hey, no worries, Spike!  I know you love me anyway!"  If possible, Cloud flushed even darker, and Sephiroth snorted.  Zack continued, this time needling Sephiroth.  "Yeah, and Seph here was pining away after you the whole time you were gone, too!  Ya better make it up to him!"

Zack listened with relish to the sudden surprised out rush of Sephiroth's breath, and smirked at the totally shocked expression on Cloud's face.  He peeked at Sephiroth's face, and was pleased to see the very slight, almost unnoticeable, flush on **his face.  Blushing Sephy was a good thing.  When he went sheet white, that was the time you just ducked and scrambled for cover.  Zack had seen the results of several times when Shira executives hadn't learned that lesson quite fast enough.**

Sephiroth sighed.  "Of course, I was worried," he stated calmly, causing Zack to nearly choke.  He had **not expected Sephiroth the fess up that quickly.  Of course, then Seph had to smooth it over.  "Anybody would, when a friend is stuck in the middle of a war zone.  However, I wouldn't classify it as 'pining'.  'Pining' is what helpless maidens do when their lovers are gone, not what generals do when friends are away."**

Cloud smiled gratefully at Sephiroth, then turned to Zack with a cheeky, self-confidant grin.  "So there," he said with a mildness that only underlined the cocky 'take **that' expression on his face and in his stance.  Surprised by the self-assuredness shy, wary Cloud was displaying, Zack burst into laughter.  Sephiroth chuckled softly, too.**

Cloud's SOLDIER friends were grinning, too, as they sauntered to the door.  "Hey, Strife, we'll see you 'round," called one, a SOLDIER second.  "You have fun with Colonel Zack and The General!"

Cloud ginned at them, turning his back on Zack and Sephiroth to wave one arm excitedly over his head, silver-spiked gauntlet flashing.  "Yeah, see you guys later, Ricky!  Oh, wait!  Do you know where they're sticking you guys?"

The one called Ricky nodded.  "Yeah. I got my own apartment, so me'n the guys are staying there.  It's on South 13th Street."

"'Kay.  Maybe I'll swing by tomorrow.  I think the Captain's gonna give us a bit of leave.  He's nice like that.  Oh, and if you see Ray anywhere, though I doubt you will, tell him 'hi' for me and that he still owes me twenty gil!"

One of the other SOLDIERs spoke up.  "Will do, Strife!  Don't be a stranger, 'kay?"

Cloud threw him a thumbs-up.  "Copy that, Reggie."

The SOLDIERs sauntered off, sending goodbyes over their shoulders.

Cloud whirled back around with a grin.  "So, we gonna stand here all day, or what?  Can we at least find a chair?  My knees are killing me!"

Sephiroth's sudden worry was almost palpable, but his voice was as cool and smooth as always.  "What happened to them?"

Cloud shrugged.  "Just crouching in trenches day in and day out.  Oh, and jumping off a couple of cliffs."  Zack and Sephiroth stared at him, the exact same expression of disbelief on each face.  "Hey!" Cloud exclaimed, folding his arms over his chest defensively.  "It was mostly while I was overdrawn.  I kinda chased the Wutai Army all over the place, regardless of terrain.  But you probably already knew that."  He laughed, and scratched the back of his head in the classic Wutaian gesture of embarrassment.  "You shoulda seen me when they found me!  Covered from head to toe in mud, blood, and other things, sticks stuck in my hair, stuck in a thorn bush upside-down, kicking and cursing and still trying to get at those rebels."  He shrugged nonchalantly.  "I hear it took six tranq darts to take me down.  Idiots shoulda just knocked me over the head with a branch, or something.  Right in my med history it says I've got a resistance to tranqs and status spells."

Zack was agape.  Sephiroth's natural grace was the only thing that kept him any more dignified.  "Holy's sake, Spike!" Zack gasped.  "How in the Planet can you be so cool about that?  Your own side tranq'ed you stupid for saving their asses!"

Cloud's eyes hardened, although, his face never changed around them.  "When it's either fight or die, you learn to push distractions like that aside.  Maybe once they confirm that we've got leave, I'll allow myself the luxury of a breakdown; you know, rage at the world a bit.  Until then, the only choice is to ignore it."

Zack shook his head, even as Sephiroth smiled slightly his approval.  /_Wow,/ Zack thought.  /__I had almost forgotten how much alike they are.  Of course, Cloud at least smiles; I've about had it with Seph's Mona Lisa impersonations.  You almost can't tell when he **does deign to smile./  "Spike, you just can't forget about your troubles."**_

Cloud craned his head slightly to look up at him.  "Why not?  Besides, I never said I was going to forget them; just store them for a little while."

Zack sighed, unwilling to continue this argument, today of all days, even knowing Sephiroth would take it as a victory, too.  "Fine, fine, whatever.  You said you wanted a chair; wanna ride with Seph?"  Cloud shrugged, but his eyes sharpened on them, carefully studying them and the distance between them.  Zack was just waiting for the moment he would say something in his new, cocky way, Sephiroth would pale, and Cloud would be facing down a seriously pissed SOLDIER general from point-blank range.

The dreaded moment never came.  Cloud's eyes said he knew they'd had a falling out of some kind, but he didn't so much as cock an eyebrow at them.  Fortunately.  Zack could feel the waves of menace rolling off Sephiroth, and knew that any tiny gesture could set him off.  /_Damn. Seph needs to take an anger management class…/_

"I guess I probably **would plow into the side of a building if I were on the bike.  Can't do that to such a beauty of a machine.  'Sides, I doubt I'll catch anything from being in close proximity to you, Sephiroth."  ****Now he cocked a brow at Zack, then turned and gestured to the door, with a smile for the silver-haired General.  "Shall we?"**

Sephiroth's lips curled in the closest thing to a smile Zack had seen on him all week.  "Why, certainly," he murmured as demurely as a six-foot war god could. 

Zack was torn between once again gaping, and beating the both of them over the head with his Buster Sword.  Sephiroth was **flirting with the tiny blond!  Who was ****nine years younger than he!**

/_Oh, stop complaining,/ a part of him growled.  /__You're only seven years older, and you were flirting, too.  **And you've no hold on Sephiroth, now.  You left him, and a perfectly good relationship, for a girl you hardly know!  One who's only a year older than Cloud, anyway!  If you're so upset, why did you go in the first place?  You would have been happy before, when you would have been included in it.  You can't have ****this one both ways./**_

Zack growled menacingly at that mental voice.  /_Just shut up.  I know I left him, but that doesn't mean I don't love him any more!  But I love Aeris, too!  And she's perfect and nice and wonderful--/_

/_And your parents would approve of her./_

Zack shoved that thought away, but not before it got in a parting shot.  /_Now who's ignoring their problems?/_

*     *     *

Cloud sat silently in the passenger's seat of Sephiroth's jeep.  He was desperately curious about what had started the frigid distance between the two men he would like to call his friends, but he knew it must be a touchy topic.  Zack had certainly been working hard enough to diffuse any possible conversational bombs.  So Cloud just sat, idly musing over what it could possibly have been, and enjoying being Not In Motion for the first time in far too long.  He could feel the seat pressing up against him, and his strength flowing out of him. 

"We broke up," Sephiroth suddenly announced into the silence.  Cloud twisted his head toward the pale general, blinking sleepily as his mind attempted to figure out what the hell the other was talking about.  Sephiroth cocked a fine eyebrow at him as he spared him a glance away from the road.  "You were attempting to puzzle out what had gotten the both of us so…" he trailed off, searching for the right word while he turned back to driving. "Distant," he finally decided on.  "I guess it's better to just tell you than to let you speculate without any facts."

Cloud mulled over the words for several minutes.  "What happened?" he eventually asked quietly, sounding drained.  He'd known about Sephiroth and Zack's relationship, it **was pretty hard to miss, and now it was like one of the key elements holding his universe together had vanished.  He could only imagine what the two of ****them must have been going through.**

Sephiroth shrugged in response to his question.  "He found someone else he liked better."  Sephiroth's voice lacked any weighty emotions, sounding only as drained as Cloud's had, with a faint coloring of pain and sadness.  Even bitterness was absent, having already mostly burnt itself out.  Sephiroth, Cloud had noticed, would usually just give in to anything if Zack wanted him to, and it looked as if he had once again resigned himself to following Zack's wishes.  Still…

"What's he like?"

Sephiroth's lips twitched, and **there was the bitterness.  "It's not even a 'he'.  And I haven't met her, yet.  Zack keeps telling me he wants me to meet her, but…I don't know.  Maybe once this starts feeling more real, and less like a nightmare with good things thrown in to make it hurt even more."**

Cloud sighed.  "Maybe meeting her will make it real."

Sephiroth shook his head adamantly.  "Then I **really don't want to meet her.  Ever." He sighed heavily.  "I guess it's cowardly, but I don't want it to be real.  I don't think I can handle it yet."**

With a long gaze at Sephiroth's profile, Cloud sighed again.  He returned his eyes to the dreary Midgar scenery they were passing.  "Then, take the time it takes to learn to handle it.  But don't put it off too long; you won't hurt just yourself."  /_Take poor Zack, for example.  Or me./_

Sephiroth's eyes darted to his passenger.  /_Just what's that supposed to mean?/  Then he dismissed the apparent oddness of the statement.  It was probably good advice, wrapped in a deceptively youthful package.  Cloud did tend to come up with interesting and useful tidbits more often than useless drivel.  /__Besides,/ Sephiroth admitted to himself.  /__I need all the help with interpersonal relationships I can get.  Including help from a guy almost a decade younger than I./_

*     *     *

Cloud sighed and shut his eyes.  Unbeknownst to him, Sephiroth smiled affectionately at the kittenish look on his face.

"Come on, Cloud," Sephiroth said.  "You can't sit in the jeep all day."

"Mn, sure I can.  I could sit here forever."  The blond yawned.  "Argh.  Maybe I should've just gone straight back to barracks.  I know we got today off; that's official already.  But I really could just use the whole day to sleep, and doubt I'll be a very good guest."

Sephiroth allowed a smile to come to his face, though it was tiny, and his face wasn't accustomed to moving that way.  "You don't have to be a good guest.  Just our good friend."  Cloud's eyes blinked open to stare at Sephiroth.  "Come on," he again urged, holding out his hand.  Cloud blushed slightly, looking adorably vulnerable, and placed his hand in Sephiroth's, allowing the general to help him out of the vehicle.

Cloud looked at the building.  It looked just the same as it always had, betraying nothing of the changes in the lives of its occupants.  Cloud looked up that huge distance to Sephiroth's face.  "So, you two still live together?"

Sephiroth nodded mutely as he took out his keys.  Cloud knew it must tear the general apart every time he entered that house, and wondered how he could do it.  Did he spend more time at work, these days?  Did he still cook and clean for the both of them?  Did he have the irrational desire to go out and find someone to be with just to break Zack's heart in return?

Cloud could see in Zack's silvery-blue eyes that **he felt awful about the whole break-up, and that he still loved Sephiroth, even if he couldn't say it.  He wondered how much it must hurt ****Zack to enter this house, to sleep away from the silver-haired man he lived with.**

Cloud's musings were interrupted by the roar of the motorcycle as it pulled up.  Zack dismounted, locked the bike up, then pulled his helmet off in a cascade of wild black hair.  He grinned what Cloud was beginning to designate his 'liar's grin' at the both of them, his face smiling while his eyes nearly bled soul-deep anguish.  Cloud's heart hurt for both of them.  /_Whoever she is, Zack, she must really be something for you to be willing to deal with such hurt.  I hope things will work out all around, and soon./_

Sephiroth finally got the door open, cursing about old metal and the bolt sticking, and the three of them walked inside.  While the outside had not changed, upon entering the very first room, Cloud could see the differences.  Almost all of the little trinkets and touches that had said two people lived here, that had their personalities in them, were gone.  The room was almost impersonal, while still looking lived in.  The oddity was jarring, and Cloud immediately set his sword down in a conspicuous place, as well as his gloves and most of his bangles.  He kicked his boots off in the middle of the floor and turned to survey the room.  Satisfied that it no longer looked merely living, but rather **alive, Cloud flopped down on the couch in an untidy sprawl that would have done Reno proud.**

Zack had seen what Cloud was about, and smiled sadly at the compulsive need to make this room more comfortable.  In that, he was more like him, than Sephiroth.  Sephiroth marked his 'territory', but only to show it was his, not to make a space more relaxed.  Seeing Cloud spread what little he had with him all over the living room somehow made Zack feel better.

Both Zack and Sephiroth stared at cloud when his stomach rumbled loud enough to be heard across the room.  He grinned sheepishly at them.  "Eh…gomen…I guess I'm gonna have to raid your 'fridge…"

Sephiroth waved him back onto the couch.  "I'll get something we can all munch on.  Just a sec."  He vanished into the kitchen, leaving Cloud and Zack alone.  The silence dragged on as Cloud hunted for a tactful way to ask what he was dying to ask.  He finally gave up.

"So, what's she like?"

Zack visibly started.  He scrambled to pull his thoughts together out of their sour depression and came back, rather intelligently, with "Uh, what?"

Cloud sighed.  "Zack, don't play this game with me.  What is your new girlfriend like?"

Zack flushed, half in embarrassment, half in anger.  "I don't see that it's any of **your business.  What I choose to do, and with whom, is between me and that person.  It's none of your concern and it's none of Sephiroth's either!"**

Cloud blinked.  He'd expected Zack to get his back up, but not so much, so soon.  "Hey, I only wanted to know what she's like!  She must really be someone special…Where'd you meet her?  Does she have any hobbies?  What does she look like?  Is she nice?  Does she mind that you're a SOLDIER?"

Zack sighed and the anger ran out of him.  He'd overreacted, and he knew it, but he really didn't want to talk about Aeris right now.  He loved her, would do just about anything for her, but life had sure gotten more complicated since she'd walked into it!

"Look, I really don't wanna talk about her right now," Zack said with a sigh.  "Can we **please change the subject?"**

Though he didn't show it, Cloud was a bit offended.  He sighed mentally to himself.  /_I should have known.  I've not been around for months, and I've only known them for a bit less than a year, total, counting the time I was gone.  Of course he's not going to talk to **me./  The whisper of self-doubt that had grown so much louder after he'd awakened to find he'd chased down a beaten army piped up.  /**__I'm not good enough./_

Though Cloud would never say it, he was terrified of himself, now.  The Materia overdraw had made him unstable enough to hunt down a beaten enemy, and he knew he'd caught a few.  Their corpses had been found, mangled and mutilated almost beyond recognition as human beings, and Cloud had vague recollections of bones crunching in his hands, of cries for mercy, of the brilliant hue of arterial blood.

But overdraw could do nothing on its own, simply magnify flaws and instabilities already in the minds of the afflicted.  Cloud had done that.  Not the Mako, not the stress, **Cloud.  He had enjoyed the feeling of power, the dance of killing and death, even the guilt and pain as the fact that he was killing human beings slowly penetrated his Mako-saturated awareness was pleasant.**

It had been a horrible blow.  He'd always known he was no saint, but that incident had shown him that he was a demon, stuck in human form.

Zack looked at Cloud.  The boy had been silent for too long after being told to drop the subject, and Zack was pretty sure he'd offended him.  He hoped Cloud wouldn't be intent on giving him the silent treatment all day.  But Cloud didn't look at all upset, just…vague.  Distant.  Unfocussed.  Worried, but realizing that Cloud wouldn't like being fussed over, Zack just watched him for a minute.

"Hey, Zack?"  Cloud's voice was soft and hesitant.

"Yeah?"

"You've killed people before, haven't you?"

Zack blinked.  "Well, yeah."

Cloud's eyes swung to Zack, and Zack finally got a good sight of their eerily glowing depths.  His gaze clung to him with near desperate strength, and Zack was mentally rocked back on his heels.  Cloud had never struck him as the sort who would be effected so much by something like fighting for his life and killing in the process, but his eyes were deeply troubled.  "Did you…enjoy it?"

Zack's eyes went very round.  /_Is **that what this is about?  Did Cloud enjoy fighting and killing?  Planet, what does he want me to say?  Like I know any better than he does!  I just try not to think about their faces, what their families must have been like, if they had kids--/  Zack viciously cut that thought off, catching himself doing just that sort of wondering.**_

"Cloud…no, I never **enjoyed it.  Not the killing.  Sometimes, though, just the fighting, the struggle…****that, I have enjoyed all too often."**

Cloud sighed almost inaudibly.  "I did," he murmured as softly as his sigh.  "I enjoyed the killing as an extension of the conflict, as the only end the dance of the battle could have; its only possible outcome.  I…know it's wrong, but…I **liked it."  His voice trained into silence, and Zack sat there, feeling really stupid, but unable to find something to say to Cloud.**

He was spared from having to make any reply by the reappearance of Sephiroth.  He was totally willing, in that moment, to forgive Sephiroth anything, including his general stick-in-the-mud-ness.  "Okay, food's up!  Grab a plate and fork and take whatever you want."

Cloud went instantly back into cheerful-if-tired mode, with the rapidity only a lie could provide.  "Wow, real food.  Man, who needs Wutai to kill us all when we have Shinra fossil-rations!"  The blond grinned and vanished into the kitchen, Sephiroth on his heels, and almost visibly preening at the vague compliment.  Which was saying something, since Sephiroth did **not preen.**

Zack rose slowly from his comfortable chair and followed after them.  If there was food, he oughtn't waste the opportunity.  Who knew when he'd be in Sephiroth's good graces again, and able to get the other to cook for him?  Fending for himself on the matter of cooking was not one of Zack's talents.

*     *     *

            Well, I hope everyone enjoyed this part.  I didn't think much really happened, but that may be because of the action being written into _Scenic Route, right now.  This part is also a little short, anyway._

            Please review!  I'm always open to suggestions, so feel free to review or email me if you want to make any or if my rambling was incoherent and you want an interpreter.  *grins*

            Until next time!

              --Akuma no Tsubasa


	10. Killer Rats, Kissing the NotSoAnnoying R...

Hi!  It's been a while, I know, but this part is long, and I'm posting the next part soon, too.  I divided it solely for convenience in making my notes, and figuring out what reviewers are talking about.  In this part, we see a little angst resolution, and tie-ins to my other FFVII fanfiction Scenic Route to the Promised Land: Reno!

  For those daunted by Scenic Route's NC-17 rating, or those who haven't read it, meet a member of Reno's not totally functional family!  Those who have, say hi again to Galen!  I wrote him as a bookworm in Scenic Route specifically so he could bug Cloud here in CAN.

  Comments and questions are welcomed.  Reviews are adored, and if you present a question in that forum, I will try to reply if you leave an email.  (Silly no name reviewers…*grumble*)

  Also, I'd like to thank my wonderful Beta readers!  The two of you shall never be sufficiently praised!  I love you!  I write with you two in mind, and I'm eternally grateful that you put up with my typos, egregious spelling and grammar errors, lack of clarity, and general bone-headed-ness.  Please continue to do so!

  Enough of my ramblings!  Real notes follow the fic proper, please read them.  And now, the fic!

*     *     *

Zack twitched in anxiety.  He had no idea what had caused Sephiroth to change his mind and come meet Aeris (well, actually, he was pretty sure it was something Cloud had said, but he wasn't about to ask!), but he was damn nervous about the whole matter.  Aeris, he knew, had no real problem with his previous relationships or any simultaneous ones, so long as he still loved her, but Sephiroth was a possessive bastard, sometimes.

He felt a gentle hand touch his arm, and looked down into the bright green eyes of Aeris.  She smiled sweetly at him.  "Don't worry Zack.  I'm sure we'll get along fine.  And even if we don't, I'll always be here for you.  And I'm sure he will be, too."

Zack smiled at her quiet reassurance, and wondered, not for the first time, how he'd been lucky enough to meet **two kids endowed with enough wisdom to make him feel like a child himself.  First Cloud, then Aeris.  Imagine that.**

Just then, a familiar figure stepped onto the street, gazing about himself with purpose.  He was dressed in a long black cape with a hood, but Zack could tell Sephiroth no matter what he was wearing.  He whistled quietly, a sound no one that far away would have been able to detect without significant Mako enhancement.  Sephiroth turned toward them instantly, sharp green eyes catching sight of them almost immediately.  He strode past people without even giving them a sideways glance.

Aeris giggled.  "I see why you might like him.  He's very confident."

Zack spared her a smile, then looked up as Sephiroth finally reached them.  He indicated the tiny café they stood before.  "How about we go inside to talk?"

Sephiroth nodded, and they all headed that way.  Zack held the door open for Aeris and Sephiroth, following behind.  They sat at a table together, and Zack was mildly amused to see Sephiroth take up his usual orientation: facing the entrances, and by the wall so he could watch everyone else in the restaurant at once.

Aeris started as soon as the waitress had been by to get orders.  "Well, you must be Sephiroth.  Pleased to meet you!  I'm Aeris."

Sephiroth bobbed his head courteously in response, but remained silent.  Aeris looked to Zack, and he shrugged.  He was just like this, more often than not, and even after being warned, Aeris usually didn't know how to deal with people like this.  She was open and caring, and didn't understand how someone could close himself off so completely.  She got really miffed when Zack sank into similar moods, and usually did something to shock him out of them.  He prayed she would do no such thing to a stranger she'd just met.

No such luck.

"So, do you still want him?" she asked, and Sephiroth froze, his glass of water half raised.  Zack felt like sinking under the table and quietly dying.  The glass came down, and Sephiroth's eyes grew hard under his hood.

"Do you?" he ground out.

"Of course!"

"There's your answer, then."  Sephiroth glared at her.  She nodded, as if accepting his answer, then looked up again.

"Now, the question is 'why'.  Why do you want him?  Just as some object?  Because I want him, and you have some territory issue with him?  Are you just holding on to what was but can't ever be again?"

Sephiroth shook his head energetically.  "No!  It's none of that.  Maybe a little of holding on… and he **is mine, but…" The general hung his head and muttered something.  Aeris cocked her head, her long braid trailing over her shoulder.**

"What was that?  I can't hear you."

Sephiroth glared.  "Fine.  Because I love him, are you happy?"  His voice was tense, and Zack could hear the pain in it.  He'd never heard Seph in emotional pain like this.  When he hurt, he kept it to himself.  When he wanted, was uncertain, afraid, lonely, never did he open up enough to alert another.  Zack had already felt guilty over what he'd done to his best friend; now he wanted to throw himself across the table into the other's lap, and swear that things would be okay, that he still loved him, too.  But Aeris obviously had something in mind, so he waited, for he loved and trusted her too.

She sat silent another few moments.  "Well, why don't we share him?"  Sephiroth sputtered, and Zack inhaled some of his soda in his shock.  Once the crisis of having Zack die of the fizzies in the back of his throat and sinuses was averted, Aeris continued.

"Well, we both love him, and he loves both of us.  It's just stupid that people think only one love is possible, or at least only one at a time.  If he wants to be with both of us, I certainly don't mind sharing.  I can accept that he loves another, and I doubt anything would be able to drag him away from you."  She smiled.  "Besides, I already find I like and respect you.  You've already overcome your own inhibitions and pride enough to say that you love him.  That takes guts, especially in front of a stranger."

Sephiroth leaned over the table towards her, displeasure rippling off him in waves.  "I do not like sharing my lover."  He gritted his teeth, and sat back again, eyes averted in an uncharacteristic expression of vulnerability and resignation.  "But…  If it makes Zack happy, how could I deny him anything, especially the right to love another?  What right have I to interfere?" he asked bitterly, and Zack could no longer contain himself.

He moved from the seat beside Aeris, to the seat beside Sephiroth and wrapped his arms around his long-time friend and lover.  "I'm so sorry, Seph…" he said, barely managing not to sob openly in empathic pain for the other.  His voice did, however, shake, and he didn't even bother trying to control that.  "I don't want to hurt you, and I love you so much…  But I love Aeris, too!  I can't just give her up, not even for you.  I'm so sorry…"

"Don't."  Sephiroth placed a finger to Zack's lips, silencing him.  "Don't apologize for being big enough to love more than once.  I don't want you to regret."

Zack cuddled a moment longer, then looked up into his lover's face.  "And what about Cloud?"

Sephiroth blinked.  "What do you mean?"

Zack elbowed him lightly in the ribs.  "C'mon, Seph.  I know you way too well for the innocent routine to work.  I know you want him, too."

Sephiroth blushed pink.  "Is it that obvious?"  At Zack's nod, he sighed.  "Well, it's not like it matters; he's not legal, nor is he interested."

Zack shook his head.  "He's interested, all right.  His interest just hasn't jumped to the physical level, yet.  And he expresses it differently from me.  Just watch him for a while, Seph.  You'll see."

Aeris suddenly cleared her throat.  "If you two are done…" she said.  "I believe our orders are here."

Zack flushed, and scrambled back to his seat.  Sephiroth seemed totally unperturbed, but he'd flushed a little.  Aeris smiled.  "I think things will work out just fine, now."

Sephiroth surprised Zack by smiling comfortably and leaning back in his chair.  "You may be right," he said, eyes darting to Zack.  "You may be right."

*     *     *

Cloud sighed in exhaustion and threw himself down in his chair.  He'd kept up with all the schoolwork he could while in Wutai, but he still had two classes he had to take between his already tight military schedule, and this was definitely the hardest.

The first class was fairly straightforward.  It was part two of an advanced Mako-handling techniques class.  It was a real snoozer, but it was required for his degree, not to mention for any further classes in this field.  Cloud already knew most of it, anyway, from the hands-on crash course he'd gotten upon joining the Mako Sciences branch of the Shinra Army.  Cloud was more than happy for an easy class, most of the time; now, any additional time strain was a serious pain.

The second class, the one he was in at the moment was a fairly rigorous class, especially given that it took place over the summer term.  However, it was also a **lab class, which meant things usually took a while, despite the shortened term.  That meant Cloud had to be planning several experiments at a time, and working on several, too.  Fortunately, they were closing in on the end of the summer term, and Cloud and his lab partner were on the last experiment, with nothing else to distract them, which was orders of magnitude better than most of the other pairs.**

Cloud looked over at the partner in question, with something very like gratitude.  He was entirely too well aware of how much of their current ability to just coast was due to him, and was amazed by how well the other had planned things to get them to where they were.

Galen was Cloud's age, a real oddity in a class like this.  Actually, he was about a month older than Cloud, a fact he was obviously delighted with, because he (like Cloud) virulently **hated being the 'baby genius' in all his classes, and was only too happy to have a class where someone else had the title.  Galen was a nice guy, but Cloud occasionally felt the urge to erase his lightly teasing smile.**

Galen was a little taller than Cloud was, big surprise there, and had some of the most eye tearing, teeth gritting, grab-you-by-the-eyeballs-and-**make-you-look ****red hair Cloud had ever seen.  It reminded him, rather forcefully, of Reno, and Cloud suspected Galen was one of Reno's relatives.  He looked to be headed for greater physical heights than the TURK, and didn't have the look of one who had starved almost to death through his whole childhood as Reno did, but their hair color and (especially) eyes were too uncannily similar for them to be coincidences.  Whenever he focused on it, though, Cloud found his mind slid away from the thought, almost too subtly to be noticed.  Cloud recognized the effects of a custom made spell when he encountered them (he ****had taken that class, too, after all), but decided not to push.  There had to be some reason for it, and Cloud didn't want to find out the specifics.**

Now Cloud looked into Galen's almond-shaped blue eyes and flashed a weary smile.  He read the worry there, but dismissed the other's concerns with a wave.  "Yo, Galen.  We ready for today's experiment?"

Galen smiled a wide lazy grin that would have looked more normal on a street urchin than it did on a skinny guy in a lab coat.  "Actually, it's more like the **week's experiment, but yeah, we have all we need for it."**

Cloud's smile morphed into a grin.  "Well, let's get started, shall we?  No time to waste chewing the fat, ne?"  Galen rose, nodding with an admirably serious expression on his face; after all, they both knew that, once they were started, they could talk to their hearts' content.

The 'experiment' they were working on today was really more like a project.  **The project, since it counted for twenty percent of the final grade.  Many of their classmates were abandoning other experiments to work on this so they would take a smaller hit in the gradebook.  The point of the exercise was to use Mako and various techniques to remake an already adult organism according to specific guidelines given by the instructor.  Each group had a different set of guidelines, but all had the same base specimen: a rat.  The team could choose the gender of their specimens (each was allowed 10 rats) and their basic phenotypes, but not much else was left for them to decide.**

Cloud walked over to the cage with their rats in it, and flicked the switch that started pumping in anesthetic with the air.  Once the rodents were completely asleep, Cloud shut off the pump, disconnected the cage, and carried it to the work area where Galen was already set up.  The previous day had been spent finishing the write-ups for the previous experiment and planning the alterations the two of them were going to make, and their plans had been very thorough indeed.

All they had to do was take some DNA samples from the rats they were going to modify, rewrite the parts they needed rewritten, and then to plug the altered sequence into the delivery mechanism.  All they'd have to do after that was expose each rat to the delivery mechanism (in this case, Factor J), and irradiate their specimens with Mako.

Simple.

*     *     *

/_'Simple.'/ Cloud thought mockingly to himself as he staggered away from the class.  If he'd been tired before, now he was exhausted.  Even Galen was glassy-eyed with fatigue.  They'd been forced to stay an extra half hour in order to wrap things up, since the electrophoresis machine had decided to die part-way through and Cloud had been forced to jury rig it to work well enough to let them continue with the procedure.  That had set them a bit behind schedule, but when the fact that the class was three hours long **anyway was taken into account, the weariness the two of them were displaying was what came out of it.**_

/_Thank the Ancients that's my last class!  And Galen's./  The red-head in question looked up as if his name had been called, then smiled wearily at Cloud._

"What a pair the two of us make, ne?"

"Hn," Cloud replied intelligently.  Galen laughed.

"Your stunning verbal skills in action!  Your talent with words blows me away!"  Cloud's lips twitched in a wry smile, then he looked quizzically at Galen who had stopped suddenly, snapping his fingers in the manner of one who has just remembered something.  "Hey, your birthday's coming up in a bit, isn't it?"

Cloud nodded warily.  Birthdays had never been that great for him, and despite the fact that this year was turning out to be very different from all previous years, he wasn't holding out much hope for his birthday.  A day like that just begged for bad things to happen on it.  Galen, however, just grinned.

"Dang, I better get on the ball, then!  I still have to find you a present, and since we'll be outta here before then, I'll have to get it, wrap it, find a card, and everything **before the summer term ends!"  He shook his head.  "I don't even know what you want!"**

Cloud shrugged.  "Don't worry about it.  What I want, I doubt you could give."

Galen's eyes sharpened, an amazing sight considering how brilliant they were to begin with.  Cloud had seen brighter, half living with SOLDIERs would guarantee that, but Galen's eyes were still impressive.  "What **do you want?" the red head asked.**

Cloud sighed.  "I just want my birthday to be an ordinary, normal, boring day, like any other.  I want nothing to go wrong, nobody to be pissed, irritated, vexed, or annoyed with me.  I just want to slink through the day without being noticed."

Galen looked skeptically at him.  "Are you serious?"  He met Cloud's level gaze, and his eyes widened.  "You **are serious!"  Then his shook his head.  "Cloud, you'll never be able to do that!  You aren't the sort to slink through life.  I know you can go unnoticed when you want to, and often enough, do; but you're not going to be able to do it."  He hesitated for a moment, looking like he was going to say something, then finally decided to say it.**

"Cloud, I don't usually give advice; I don't **like giving advice.  But you seem to really need some right now.  I know you've not had an easy or happy life, but you have to treat it the way you treat people: go with it when things are going good, kick 'em where it hurts if it hurts you, and spit in the eye of whatever defies you.  Don't live shadow to shadow; walk with your head up.  You can avoid obstacles better that way."  He suddenly smiled an impish grin.**

"Besides, if you want a normal life, you gotta do what's normal.  I happen to know that, in the Nibel Region, legal age is fifteen.  Midgar respects foreign rules governing that sort of thing, and legal age here is only sixteen.  When people are finally considered old enough to do whatever the heck they want, they usually go out and do exactly that.  Man, Cloud, go out and **live a little.  Get drunk, browse the porn section, whatever.  Just work it out of your system so you can go back to life-as-usual."**

Cloud blinked.  He'd forgotten that it was **fifteen coming up.  Nibel Region, of which (scarily enough) tiny little Nibelheim was the capital, was very sparsely populated, and just about everyone was related, however distantly, to everybody else.  Since people there matured in body very quickly, and tended to die young from over work, poor medical care, or monster attacks, legal age was ridiculously low in the area.  Most people were engaged by thirteen, if not sooner, and usually married very soon after fifteen.  The first children were usually born by eighteen, which was the legal age to marry most other places.**

Cloud shuddered.  He couldn't even imagine being married, and the idea of kids was almost enough to wake him screaming and in a cold-sweat.

There were perks, though…

Galen, seeing Cloud's eyes grow unfocused as he considered, grinned.  He'd somehow thought that would lift his friend's spirits a little.  Only Cloud could forget something like becoming a fully functional member of society.  Give the guy a problem in a school context (or on the battlefield, by all accounts) and he never forgot a thing, and always got the right answer.  As for his personal life, though…hopeless.

Galen studied his partner.  The physical differences between the two of them were very noticeable to a discerning eye.  Cloud's face was still round with youth, but the underlying bones were sharp and fully mature.  His growth-rate had already slowed, and he would probably only gain a few more inches, and that only if he was lucky.  His musculature was already more defined than any fourteen-year-old's should have been, and Galen had seen him with an occasional cut from a razor, indicating he had to shave at least sometimes.

The two of them had studied some of the more interesting genetic oddities in the world, and what were called the Gast-Alpha and -Beta clusters were among those.  They were the segments of the Human genome that Professor Gast had identified as the culprits in the odd aging patterns of the people of the Nibel Area, which he'd spent quite some time in.  They caused children to grow up fast and to stay in their primes until well on in their lives.  After they started showing symptoms of old age coming on, they usually only had a few years left to live.  Even the term of pregnancy for people with those genes was markedly different: only eight months.  Gast had been unsure as to how such radical differences had appeared at all, was further confused as to why, and how they had come to totally dominate in the Nibel area, but didn't exist anywhere else was one of the Planet's great mysteries in biological science.  There were theories floating around in the scientific community attributing those differences to environmental stresses.  After all, that pattern of short pregnancies, reaching maturity early, and swift aging once it finally started, was typical in the animal kingdom.  It was a natural attempt by a species to ensure its continuance.

But they were obviously no rumor or exaggeration, seeing as Galen's own lab partner showed the phenotypes for both Gast-A and Gast-B.  It was all he could do to restrain himself from begging for Cloud's consent to run some itty-bitty, simple tests, maybe get him to agree to help him for his doctoral studies and dissertation…

Galen looked up at Cloud again (or down, rather, since Galen was already taller than Cloud, who would **always be short), and barely had time to register the grin on Cloud's face before the petite blond jumped on him with a big hug.  Cloud was ****not the type to express himself physically, except to beat the crap out of the object of his displeasure, so the red head was naturally surprised.**

Imagine his surprise when Cloud kissed him full on the lips.

With tongue.

Galen knew he was gawking stupidly, and that his face was undoubtedly some color that clashed horribly with his hair, but he just couldn't jump-start his brain.  Cloud grinned, a smile that would have suited any one of Galen's siblings better, and pushed his jaw closed.

"You'll swallow a fly like that, and I doubt you need the protein that badly," he said softly.  The red head nodded mutely, and Cloud chuckled.  "Go home, Galen.  We're both tired, and there's class tomorrow, too."  He let go and turned to saunter down the street with a distinct cat + canary air about him.  He waved casually as he went.  "Thanks for the advice!"

Galen never knew how long he stood there yelling at his muscles to unlock, or at least take him home on autopilot, but when he finally got started again, he could only imagine what sort of monster he'd just created.

*     *     *

_(One week later.)_

Zack opened the door to find Cloud grinning hugely on the other side.  Zack was puzzled.  Wasn't the blond supposed to be in class right now?

Cloud stepped inside, clutching some packages to his chest.  "Hey, Zack!"  He caroled, and Zack wondered who this really was.  He bore a superficial resemblance to Cloud, but his manner was all wrong.  /_Uh…T.W.T.F.O.?/ he thought.  The doppelganger continued, apparently oblivious to Zack's current state of confusion.  Sephiroth came out of the back, still dripping wet from his post-work shower (he was obsessive about washing all traces of Shinra from himself after he got home), toweling his hair and dressed only in a loose pair of pants.  He was finally comfortable enough in Zack's presence to appear only semi-clothed, for which Zack was supremely grateful.  Even if it underscored the fact that Sephiroth was no longer his._

"Who was at the door, Zack?"  He asked before his eyes spotted Cloud.  "Oh, hello, Cloud."  He frowned.  "Don't you have class today?"

Cloud shook his head.  "I just needed you guys' opinions on something."  He reached into one package and pulled out something long and black.  He dropped both packages to the ground, and slid his arms into the billowing black fabric.  Zack and Sephiroth stared as they realized they were looking at a college graduation robe.  "Do you think I should go one size larger?  This thing kinda ends up a little high on my calves…  Oh!  What do you think I should wear under it?  I don't think I have any formal-type stuff, since I had to be in uniform for class.  Do the regs say anything about having to wear uniform to a non-military graduation?  Maybe I **should go up a size…"**

Cloud's excited chatter was interrupted by Zack scooping him up in a bear hug.  "Wow, you're already graduating?  You haven't even been in Midgar a whole year yet!  I didn't realize you were already going to graduate!"

Cloud sniffed disdainfully, even as he returned the hug.  "Of course!  I've been taking a heavy class load since I got here, and I took correspondence classes from Nibelheim and classes at the community college.  Hell, I even took classes in Xi-Fe-Xiu!  Do you know how frustrating it is to be trying to make assignment deadlines in the middle of a shooting war?"

Zack blinked at Cloud, and stood back from him.  "I seem to recall your file saying something about you already holding an Associates Degree…Is this your Bachelors already?"

Cloud nodded.  "In Nibel, we usually do things a lot faster than most other places.  Not to mention, the public schooling system there sucks!  Mom sent me to the college to do my high school level education, too, and I took mostly courses that carried straight over into my Associates."  He grinned.  "Mom's gonna be so happy!"

Zack smiled, too.  "So, when's the ceremony?  I'm sure your mom will want pictures, and I'd be happy to take them."

"Friday, 1900 hours, in the auditorium.  It'll probably go for several hours before they actually get to me, though," he warned.

"Well, that's fine.  I want to be there, and nothing short of the Apocalypse could stop me from coming!"

Sephiroth cleared his throat.  "I'd like to be there, too," he stated, then he cast his glowing eyes down.  "I'll just have to find some way to get in unnoticed…"

Cloud grinned.  "Don't worry, Seph.  You can do it.  I'm sure you can."

Sephiroth and Zack both blinked at the quiet, unwavering confidence in the blond's voice.  Then the green-eyed general shook off his embarrassed thoughts, and grinned impishly (which surprised Zack to no end.  What was this, out-of-character day?).  He indicated Cloud's black attire.  "How 'bout taking that off, so I can smash you like Zack did?  I don't want to get your finery all wet."

Cloud started reflexively to shrug out of the robe, but he slowed as Sephiroth's words really sank in.  He looked at Sephiroth, really **looked, and Zack could see, even from the angle he was at, that Cloud's eyes suddenly dilated, the Mako flaring up in them suddenly.  A faint flush crept into his cheeks, then he was scrambling out of the robes as if his life depended on it.  Sephiroth looked slightly confused, but Zack knew that look.**

After all, he had, himself, worn it before.

That look was the sudden awareness of another's attractiveness, known before in the mind, but now making the leap to the body as well.  Sephiroth always seemed to miss such moments, only catching on later, but Zack didn't have that particular blind spot.  /_Too bad for poor Cloud that Seph is such a gentleman.  He'd never **dream about actually acting on any sort of attraction with a minor./**_

Sephiroth finally gave Cloud his hug, gingerly, not wanting to get the other wet.  Cloud, on the other hand, seemed to want nothing more than to be soaked to the bone, so long as the water came from Sephiroth's dripping form.  Zack couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy and pity for the other.  Gongaga was a more conventional place than Midgar, so legal age there was a full 18.  As far as anyone knew, Sephiroth was from Midgar, so he was legal at 16.  Zack had spent months trying to convince Sephiroth that it was okay for the two of them to be together, but Sephiroth had held out until it was perfectly legal for Zack, at which time Sephiroth had been legal for **four years.**

/_Poor, poor Cloud,/ Zack thought, viciously squashing the part of him that was overjoyed that the blond would be as tormented as he had been.  He knew he'd been feeling a little nasty recently (the green-eyed monster was making its presence well known) but he tried his best not to let his ill feelings get in the way of his friendship with either Cloud or Sephiroth.  Besides, Aeris was already 16, herself…Maybe…_

Zack shook his thoughts clear of that well-worn rut.  He forced them into being happy for his friend.  After all, this was quite an accomplishment.  He was a little worried at the frantic pace Cloud seemed to live by, as if he felt he had to cram a life's worth of everything into half a life.  He also realized, however, that there was no way to force the blond to change, and that he probably wouldn't want to change him anyway.

He grinned, indicating that Cloud should -sit down.  The living room had taken on a lot more of Cloud's personality than anyone else's, now that the blond spent most of his time off over at their place, mooching off Sephiroth's cooking, and hanging out with their SOLDIER neighbors (when he wasn't at the gym).  Now Cloud sank into 'his' seat, the one closest to the door, still beaming.  Sephiroth took up his customary perch on a stool by the kitchen door, and Zack plopped down on a beanbag by the mouth of the hallway.

"So?" Sephiroth urged.  "Were you going to just sit there and gloat at us mere mortals, or were you going to tell us about your classes?  You mentioned earlier that you were working on a project, and that was why you couldn't come over at all this past week."

Cloud nodded.  "Yeah, a **big project.  Me'n my lab partner had to reengineer rats to be the size of dogs, and to lack any ability to digest cellulose.  Basically, big, mean, solely carnivorous rats.  I wonder where the teacher got an idea like that?  Most of the other groups got things like…oh, making them phosphoresce, or regenerate missing body parts, or produce certain chemicals in their saliva or urine or whatever.  But killer rats?  Please.  Of course, we destroyed them after our results had been evaluated, but geeze!  Those things were a menace!"**

"How pleasant," Zack muttered, wondering if he looked as green as he felt.  "And **why, exactly, did you get into this stuff?"**

Cloud shrugged.  "I don't know.  Mom pushed me at it, and I remember helping dad in the lab when I was really little.  I guess all the external influences were prodding me this way.  Not to mention, I find the stuff totally engaging; not much holds my interest long, anyway, and finding something that does is always great.  And it's good pay in the civilian sector."

Cloud suddenly glanced down at his hands clasped in his lap.  "Mom will want me back as soon as possible.  She was **pissed when she found out I entered the military to fund my studies, and was even more upset, if you can believe it, when I told her I was in for a minimum of six-years."  He sighed and leaned back in his chair.  "Down to a little over five, now…"**

For some reason, this thought seemed to depress Cloud, and Zack cast about for something to distract the blond from his unhappiness.  His eyes lit on the other package Cloud had been carrying, and he decided that that was an acceptable diversion.

"Hey, Spike," he said.  When he was sure he had the other's attention, he pointed to the abandoned package.  It was wrapped in brightly colored paper with bits of ribbons sticking off of it.  "What's that?"

Cloud suddenly perked up.  "Oh, yeah!  That's my birthday present!"  He slithered off his chair and onto the floor.  He scooped up the little package and cradled it to his chest with a possessive air that seemed a little odd on him.  But he was smiling like a little kid on Christmas, so Zack didn't let it bother him.  Cloud continued, chattering like he had when he'd first come in the door.  "Galen—that's my lab partner, you know—he gave it to me.  He said I ought to have a birthday present, and a graduation present, and that, since we probably won't see each other for a while, it could double as a goodbye present.  That's so nice of him, don't you think?  I never got birthday present from anyone but Mom before.  I wonder what he got me?"

Sephiroth chuckled.  "Calm down, Cloud.  If you want to know, why don't you open it?"

Cloud shook his head.  "Nope, I can't.  Not until my birthday.  That's next week."

Zack rolled his eyes.  "It's also a graduation gift.  You should open it for graduation.  You've got a perfectly legitimate excuse for it.  Besides, it might be something you can wear, and it might be nice to let him know you got whatever it is and appreciate it."

Cloud twitched an eyebrow upwards, frowning thoughtfully.  "You may be right…  Then, if I see him, I can thank him in person.  I don't even know where he lives, you know, except for 'not on the plate'."  Cloud seemed to consider a moment more, then obviously made up his mind.  "Okay!"  He tore into the paper, though only at the tape seams.  He somehow managed to get the paper and ribbon off without tearing any of it, and was left holding a small cardboard box.

He opened it and a small piece of folded paper fluttered out.  He picked it up, then opened it.  It was a note.

_Cloud!_

_Hey, it was great meeting you.  You're the best lab partner I've ever had,_

_and I'd like to consider us pretty good friends.  I hope to see you around,_

_occasionally.  Maybe we'll have some more classes together sometime!  Take care_

_of yourself, and have fun.  Congratulations on your degree and your impending_

_legality!  Here's something to remember me by, just in case._

_Always,_

_Galen Hernandez_

_            P.S.  Where did you learn to kiss like that?  You're gonna be a regular_

_heartbreaker!_

Cloud smiled, and his fingertips rose, of their own accord, to his lips in memory of the only real kiss he'd ever had.  Sephiroth and Zack got identical expressions of evaluation on their faces, as they noted the gesture.

Cloud, however was oblivious, moving on past the note to the gift itself.  The little box was padded with cotton, and Cloud had to lift away several layers in order to find the actual gift.  When he did, though, his breath caught.

Inside the box was a pair of tiny earrings.  They appeared to be blue-violet, but upon closer inspection he realized they really had no color, that it was the metal the tiny orbs were set in (an alloy of Adamant and Mythril) that lent them their apparent color.  Pressing a finger to the surface of one little stone, he felt the tiny buzz of power that told him these stones were Materia.  Cloud, in all his studies, had never heard of a colorless Materia; even in tiny slivers, they remained true to their colors.

Despite the mystery of colorless Materia, he could think only of his delight.  He held up the box to the two of them, and saw eyebrows rise.  The gift was obviously expensive, and both Zack and Sephiroth were trying to puzzle out what would prompt someone who had known Cloud for only a few months to give him such a gift.

/_Damn,/ Zack thought.  /__Did Cloud win this guy his whole grade, or what?  Looks like they managed to become pretty good friends, awful damn fast!  Good.  Cloud needs friends outside the military./_

Sephiroth's thoughts were less unconcerned.  /_Grrr…  What the hell is **this about?  Friends?  Ha!  This lab partner better just keep his hands to himself!  And what was with that look Cloud had a little while ago?  Like he'd just been kissed?  Dammit, dammit, dammitdammitdammit!/**_

Cloud was oblivious to Zack's approving smile and Sephiroth's growing unhappiness.  He reached up to his ears and practically tore out the earrings he had on.  Then he carefully replaced them with Galen's beautiful gifts.  He held his messy blond hair out of the way for Zack and Sephiroth, so they could see his new adornments.  "How do they look?" he asked anxiously.

Even Sephiroth had to admit they looked beautiful on him.  They seemed to have caught the exact shade of Cloud's eyes, right down to the glow in them.  Cloud was delighted, and vowed he wouldn't take them off for at least until after graduation.  He was **going to find Galen to thank him appropriately.**

*     *     *

So, there we have it!

  I decided I'd tortured Zack and Sephiroth enough emotionally, for now, so I had them reach a sort of understanding, finally.  I also had to clear the range for Cloud somehow!

  In Scenic Route, I mentioned that Galen was a bookworm and liked the sciences best.  Here he is, at Midgar University, training to practice his passions for a living!  And, yes, he's Cloud's age and living a rough life (though not as bad as his 'Niisan's, fortunately!), so he can relate a little to Cloud.  The custom spell referred to is something Reno put in place to hide his relationship to his/James's brothers.  Galen doesn't know about it, but he also doesn't know Cloud knows Reno, and doesn't suspect anything.

  All right, I am openly admitting that the whole Gast-Alpha, -Beta thing is mostly a rig to get Cloud legal for Sephy.  Okay?  I also thought that Cloud always seemed to operate, physically, in a much more adult manner that his years would indicate.  I mean, how many 16-year-olds do you know who go around killing monsters, trying to get into elite military groups, and swinging swords as big as they are?  This is my attempt to explain this little oddity that seems to pop up all over the place in the anime/manga/videogame world.

  Yes, Factor J.  Read: Jenova cells.  Not that anyone at this point has any idea what they really are (except Hojo, the bastard).  The class thinks they are a special virus-based vector to introduce their modifications into their rats.

  For those who may not know: T.W.T.F.O. means "Transmit, What The Fuck?!  Over."  Just a little tidbit wrested from the vast stores of my mother's knowledge.  *grin*

  All right.  I was already asked by one of my lovely betas what the colorless Materia were, so I better explain, ne?  In the game, there was only one 'colorless' aka White Materia, and that was Holy.  It glows green when activated.  So Cloud's been carrying Holy with him all these years without even knowing!  I will probably elaborate on this in Scenic Route, but the basic theory is that the Cetra all have a Holy Materia, that it is a part of their personal Lifestream energy.  They can manifest it, if they are strong enough to,  into the form of a Materia.  In giving a little of his Holy Materia to Cloud, Galen gave up a little of his strength, but also gave himself a way of finding our spiky-headed hero if he needs to.  Call it…a Cetra's intuition.  *grin*

  Okay, that should be it…the next portion should be posted shortly.  Thanks for reading!

  --Akuma no Tsubasa


	11. It's Party Time!

  Yes, she's back.  You can run now.  Just remember to review!  *cheeky grin*  And yes, it's a cold day in hell, 'cause I'm posting lots!  Check out all my recent updates!

  Again, thanks to my betas for their hard work!

*     *     *

_Chi to Ase to Namida, Part 11_

Cloud entered the main area of his barracks wearily.  He'd spent most of the day at Midgar University, and his current state of weariness showed it.  He'd gone in to pick up his books for this semester's classes (though, he had promised Zack he would take it easy this semester, so he only had one class), but when he'd gotten there, one of the councilors had been waiting.  Cloud had discovered that the College had decided to request he help teach—**teach!—a class in elementary gene sequencing theory.  He'd decided to take the position, especially since they were going to count it as a 3-credit lecture class for him, even though he'd already taken the course.  He wouldn't be required to show up more than once per week, but it had still blown him away.  Sure, GST-100 was only an eight week course, but if he got involved in 100, he'd undoubtedly get roped into 101, 102, and 103.  Which would be all year.**

But those were some damn easy extra credit hours.  And he didn't have to pay for them.  Hell, he was **being paid for them!**

After he'd finished that up, he went and said hello to Dr. Souryuu, who was teaching the class with him, and had been the professor he'd taken GST-100 with (via correspondence, from Nibelheim).  Souryuu had been absolutely amazed that **this was the student who had blown the roof off his curve two years earlier, then he'd been delighted to welcome Cloud to the teaching world.  He had congratulated Cloud on earning his degree, understood about him joining the military to fund his education, and been horrified that Cloud had wound up fighting in the Wutai Uprising.  Cloud had sat and talked with him (mostly about the upcoming class) for almost a whole hour, before the entire genetic sciences department had shown up and said hello.  Dr. Bokowski, who had been the teacher in his just-finished gene manipulation class, had wanted to ask him about some of the things he'd done on his last project, and most of the rest of the department had been interested, too.  Two hours later, Cloud had, regretfully, extracted himself from the conversation, and only with a promise to continue it later.**

After that, Cloud had decided to do some shopping.  It was Saturday, he had no duty tomorrow, and, most importantly, it was his birthday.  Having taken Galen's advice to heart, he decided he would do something wild for his birthday.  (He had seen the red head at graduation, and he had seemed delighted that Cloud was enjoying his gifts.)  He had considered getting smashed, but he'd seen too many hangovers during his time in the military (especially in Wutai) to want to deal with one himself.  Besides, the Mako in his system would probably make getting drunk a bit difficult.  He'd considered asking someone to sleep with him, just to teach him how, but he didn't trust anyone enough to go through with it.

Well, not quite.  If Sephiroth or Zack had shown an interest in him, he would have jumped at the opportunity, but…now that he thought of it, he didn't think they realized what fifteen meant for him.

So he'd settled on going out and buying some 'picture books'.

Yeah, he felt a little guilty, but flipping through the stuff in the store, without worry of getting in any sort of trouble, had been…liberating.  Even if the store clerk **had demanded three forms of ID, and then propositioned him once he was ****sure he was legal.**

He felt the weight of his purchases in their plastic bag, and couldn't help the self-satisfied grin that appeared on his face.  Then he heard the silence of the surrounding area, and immediately scrunched to the side of the doorway, so as not to silhouette himself against the weak outside light.  A hand went automatically for his knife, and he forced his Mako eyes to adjust, lowering his lashes to hide the glow in his blue eyes.  Just then, the lights snapped on.

"**_Surprise!!!!" cried a room filled to capacity with his company-mates and what seemed like every SOLDIER on the continent.  Zack was at the front of the crowd, and his smile looked like it would split his face any moment now._**

"Cloud!  Happy Birthday!" he said sauntering up to the surprised (and mortified) blond with a big hug.  "You didn't think we'd forget, did you?" the beaming SOLDIER asked.

"No," Cloud muttered.  "But I could hope, couldn't I?"  At Zack's wounded expression, Cloud smiled.  "Yanking your chain, Zack.  Ease up, ne?"

Zack's smile returned full-force.  "Damn straight!  I hope you're not planning on sleeping tonight!  We've got food, drinks, games, music, presents…And we're not letting you run off until at least midnight!"

Cloud resigned himself to not getting the sleep he wanted, but he figured having war-buddies there ought to liven things up.  Not to mention SOLDIER.  There was a table set aside for the SOLDIERs' drinks; since they needed such potent stuff just to get buzzed, Cloud figured that was only good sense, but he was willing to bet money that some poor regular got dared into trying some of the SOLDIER stuff.  **That would certainly make the unfortunate fool's world a sight more interesting!**

There was a chocolate cake with chocolate icing and 15 candles he was forced to blow out, mint chocolate chip ice cream (his favorite!  And how **had Zack discovered that?), and several small gifts.  Most everyone had gotten him something, but most of it was candy (for which Cloud was grateful; he always seemed to need a sugar hit).  Only his closest friends got him anything any more complicated.**

Ray got him a new whetstone, which Cloud examined critically, since Ray was not horribly proficient with blades, and found very much to his liking, and a choker as a gag gift.  He said that it was to keep any lurking Wutaian Rebels from having a clear shot at his throat.  Cloud grinned at the reference to the Uprising and hugged the guy who was probably his best friend in the Regulars, once again thanking fate that Ray had made it through the last charge against the massed forces of Wutai.  

Reggie, Ricky, and the rest of the 13th Street gang got him a whole stack of new textbooks from the SOLDIER training facility, mostly on tactics, and Cloud spent several minutes flipping through them, before hugging the guys (well, and Amy, who insisted on being called Artemis, and she may as well have been one of the guys.  She even discussed girls with them!) and thanking them profusely.

Then Zack presented him with his gift.  It was a new Comet Materia, and Zack snapped it into one of Cloud's Materia slots, cheekily admonishing him not to lose this one.  A round of laughter swept around the room.  They all knew what had happened to the previous Materia (roughly, anyway), and eventually conceded that he could lose it for a cause like saving their asses again anytime.  He hugged Zack, too, but also gave him a quick peck on the cheek.  More laughter resulted, and Cloud just stuck out his tongue at the room at large.

Eventually, the focus of the party shifted from Cloud specifically, to just enjoying Cloud's party in general.  Cloud managed to catch Zack on the impromptu dance floor, and they shared a couple of dances.  Despite the fact that many others were trying to coax him into dancing with them, Cloud waved them off temporarily.  He had something he needed to ask Zack.

"Hey, Zack?"

The larger man looked at him, silvery-blue eyes questioning.  "What's up, Spike?  Why are you turning down all those dances.  You're pretty good, and it's your birthday; you oughta have fun."

Cloud shrugged.  "I just was wondering where Sephiroth was.  I mean, every other friend, acquaintance, and ally I've ever had—except in Wutai, and Galen, and Reno—is here, but not Seph.  What's up?"

Zack shrugged.  "He had to work late.  I don't know when, or **if, he'll be in.  He was planning on coming right up to the last minute.  You should have ****seen the fit he pitched when they called him in at the last minute.  I'm going to have to fix the wall behind the door now.  He slammed the door open so hard, the knob imbedded itself in the wall.  I got it out before I came to help set this up, but the hole still needs to be filled."**

Cloud's lips twitched.  He could practically see Sephiroth's exact reaction, and could just imagine the terror that must have gone before him when he entered the offices.  Then Cloud's impending smile faded.  No matter how hilarious the reactions of terrified Shinra execs might have been, it still meant that Sephiroth was not here.

Zack patted his smaller friend's shoulder.  "Don't worry.  Bahamut himself couldn't stop Seph from at least showing up.  He may be ill-tempered and out for blood, but he'll show."

Cloud nodded gratefully at Zack, and rose to take up the offers of dances.

*     *     *

Cloud stood on the deserted balcony, breathing the cool night air, his drink forgotten beside him.  It might have been dirty Midgar air, but at least it didn't smell as strongly of too many people in too small a space.  He gazed up at the sky, straining his eyes for a sight of the stars through Midgar's light pollution and smog.  That was what he missed most about Nibelheim.  There you could see every star imaginable, and their exact colors.  He sometimes thought he should have gone into astronomy or Planet studies, not biological Mako science.  He heard Cosmo Canyon was a sight to behold at this time of year, or any other.

He cocked his head, listening to the night, knowing that most of the sounds he could have sworn he heard were just the phantom noises Mako enhanced hearing produced.  He listened anyway, imagining that the stars and the Planet and the whole of the world around him was singing to him; a soft lullaby only he could hear, sad and slow as only something eternal could be sad and slow.

He heard another song weave itself into the music, and smiled.  This one he knew.  He waited until the half-sensed presence behind him brushed upon his space bubble, and his whole mind was forced into awareness of the other, before turning and smiling at the tall man he knew to be there.

"Good evening, Sephiroth."

Pale green eyes glowed out of the shadows at him for a moment, then the general stepped out into the starlight.  His hair was practically aglow with the faint light, and his fair skin was only incrementally less so.  His black clothes were darker than anything else could have been, so even in the darkness he was still clearly visible.

"Hello, Cloud," the other said, moving to lean against the rail beside him.  They stood in comfortable silence for a small eternity, staring quietly out into the unending depths of the sky.  Finally, Sephiroth broke their lingering silence.  "I see you're not inside enjoying your party."

Cloud sighed.  "It was fun for a while, but eventually the noise got to me.  Too many people.  Besides, I figure no one will notice I'm missing for a few minutes, yet."

Sephiroth nodded somberly, then indicated Cloud's drink.  "May I?"  Cloud nodded absently, and the tall general picked it up and took a small sip.  He then stared accusingly at Cloud.  "This is alcoholic!"

Cloud shrugged.  "Yeah, and I frankly don't see what the big deal about the stuff is.  It tastes almost as bad as coffee."

Sephiroth shook his head.  "Are you even allowed to drink, Cloud?"

Cloud finally looked back at the other.  "Well, yeah.  I'm **fifteen, Seph."  At Sephiroth's blank look, Cloud sighed, resigning himself to having to explain this to everyone he saw for the next several days.  /_Maybe I should just send out a memo,/ he thought wearily.  "Look, I'm from Nibelheim.  In the Nibel area, you can drink, vote, smoke, and marry at fifteen.  Midgar accepts all regional rules governing that kind of stuff, so yeah, I can drink.  And smoke, vote, and marry, too."_**

Sephiroth blinked.  "You mean…you're **legal?"**

Cloud rolled his eyes.  "That's generally what people would call it.  What, do I have 'will die a perfect innocent' stamped on my forehead, or something?"

"You're legal…" Sephiroth murmured again, and something in his voice made Cloud look at him.  He discovered, to his surprise, that Sephiroth was studying him intently, his eyes raking over him from the soles of his boots to the top of the tallest spike of his hair.  Cloud felt himself flush, but not from embarrassment.  He felt a rush of adrenaline that felt much like the rush of battle, but more pleasant and lacking the fear built into a war.

"S-Sephiroth?" he stammered, cursing himself for the weakness that allowed his unease to manifest itself in his voice.  The silver general suddenly twitched, as if shaken from a deep daydream.  He suddenly tore his eyes away, his every muscle going taut.  Pivoting on his heel, Sephiroth stalked toward the door to the inside.

"Good night, Cloud," he said, and his tone was so cold, matter would cease to exist when faced with it.  Cloud felt as if he had ceased to be, also; those few moments of heart-pounding feeling had had more **aliveness packed into them than all of his life up to that point.  He ****had to make a last effort to reclaim that sensation.**

"Does it matter so much to you how old I am?" he asked quietly.  Sephiroth stopped, but did not turn, and Cloud felt irrational anger well up in him.  He knew he'd regret opening his mouth if he did, but it was too late.  He just had too many questions, and getting blown off was **not an option.  "Is Nibel so backward that you doubt the wisdom of laws that have supported it for hundreds of years?  Do you doubt ****me so much, that you don't think I can choose for myself, think for myself?  Am I old enough to fight, but not to think?  And why the ****hell won't you face me when I'm talking to you?!"  He was really working himself into a fine rage, now, and it cooled only incrementally when the General turned back to him with wide eyes.  "Now, what were you finding so interesting about me?"**

Sephiroth suddenly became guarded again.  "If you don't know, maybe you still need a few years."

Cloud felt himself cross the rage threshold at last.  The temperature of his anger plummeted to something that would have given even Sephiroth a run for his money.  He suddenly had the ability to reason through his rage, and all that mattered was beating his meaning through Sephiroth's thick, beloved skull.  He stepped close to Sephiroth, speaking directly to him, barely an inch separating their bodies.  "I don't know what **you meant by it, but I know how ****I want to take it."  With that, he stood on his toes, reached a hand into Sephiroth's long hair, and yanked his head down for a kiss.**

Sephiroth felt paralyzed against him, but Cloud pressed their lips together, hard, until he felt the other's lips part slightly.  Then, he slipped his tongue into his friend's mouth, trying to copy whatever he'd done that Galen had liked so much.  He felt more than heard Sephiroth groan into his mouth, and suddenly found himself crushed to the much taller man's chest.  Then Sephiroth's tongue was plundering his own mouth, and he finally realized what Galen had so liked…

Finally, the burning in his lungs forced Cloud to struggle away for air.  But he kept a hand fisted in Sephiroth's hair.  He felt Sephiroth's hands resting low on his hips; his warm breath in his hair; and the gentle heaving of his chest, as he, too, gulped down oxygen.  Cloud couldn't pull himself away, so he just whispered against the other's chest, "Trust me, Seph.  I know what I want…even if I don't know how to get it."

Sephiroth's hands were suddenly on his shoulders, pushing him back to arms reach.  Cloud felt the cold where their bodies had been pressed together far too keenly, but Sephiroth's glowing eyes demanded he meet them.  He lifted his gaze, feeling more vulnerable than he had ever imagined he would, even though he knew it was his friend, perhaps his **best friend standing before him with naked desire aglow in the emerald facets of his eyes.  Perhaps, that was what made it so bad.  What if Sephiroth didn't ****really want him?  What if he wasn't good enough?  Could they be friends ****and lovers?  What would Zack think?**

He didn't think about it for much longer, because Sephiroth stepped in and kissed him again.  Relaxed against his friend, Cloud allowed himself to be slowly coaxed inside.  They avoided the party, in favor of finding a nice semi-private spot; Cloud's own bed, as it turned out.

Cloud landed on the bed, and stared up at Sephiroth's face, illuminated only by faint starlight and the light from their eyes.  "Are you really sure?"  Sephiroth's eyes were soft as he looked down at him, pleading for a positive answer, while accepting of any attempts to push him away.

Cloud silenced him with a kiss.

*     *     *

An only slightly hung-over Zack was looking for Cloud.

Moreover, he was also looking for Sephiroth.

He hadn't seen Cloud at all after he'd seen the blond sneaking off for some air, undoubtedly overcome with the racket of the lively party.  He'd chatted a few minutes with Sephiroth a little while after he'd come in, then directed him to the birthday boy's hangout.  After that…nothing.  Zero.  Zip, zilch, nada.

He thought maybe Cloud had gone to bed after seeing the pale-haired general, so here he was, peeking into the room that Cloud shared with the rest of his squad.  It was surprisingly abandoned; the only people in the room were buried under a pile of blankets on one of the beds.

**Cloud's bed.**

Zack's first thought was: /_Man, Cloud's gonna be **so pissed!/  Then, as he stared at the familiar length of exposed leg sticking out of the nest of blankets his next bleary thought occurred to him.  /**__What the hell is Sephiroth doing in Cloud's bed?/  Then, as he remembered what someone had mentioned in passing to him last night about the residents of Nibel being legal even before the people of Midgar, his no longer quite so hung-over third thought resounded through his head:_

/**_HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!/_**

As though his mental shout had been audible, Sephiroth's head jerked up from under the covers.  His sleepy green eyes fixed on Zack for several moments before recognition dawned in them.  Then Sephiroth smiled at him, and stretched languidly, though he was careful not to jar the blond boy still cradled in his arms.  "Mornin', Zack.  What's up?"

Zack tried to come up with something coherent for several minutes, but all he managed was a choked-off sound of disbelief.  At this, Cloud woke up, apparently, for he poked his head out.

"Mnnn, Seph?"  He yawned.  "Damn, is it morning already.  We just got to sleep!"  Sephiroth smiled down at him, and kissed him softly.  As they pulled apart, Cloud seemed to notice Zack, and colored slightly.  "Um…Hi Zack…"

It was so endearing to see Cloud, still bleary-eyed, and tussled from what appeared to have been quite the night/morning, that Zack's shock and impending anger bled away.  He smiled at the two of them, finally able to feel truly happy for them, despite his lingering feelings for Sephiroth.  Sephiroth gifted him with one of his rare true-smiles, and climbed out of bed.  After a hesitation, Cloud followed, albeit more slowly and more stiffly.  Zack grinned cheekily.

"You're moving like an old man, there, Spike!  Seph already wear you out?"

Cloud stuck his tongue out at Zack.  "Biidaa!"

Zack chuckled at the raspberry, then cocked an eyebrow as he discovered that neither of them was fully naked.  Both still had earrings in, and Seph had on the armband Zack had given him for his birthday two years ago.  Cloud had on the armlet that bore Zack's Comet Materia, and an anklet he had never seen before.  As he caught his friend's stare, Cloud flushed a bit more.

"Sephiroth gave it to me," he said by way of explanation.  Zack smiled.  He was present on both sides of their relationship.  He could see how happy they were.  And he finally had no scrap of bitterness in him toward them.  The great schism that had divided his heart the past several weeks was finally healed, and Zack could see nothing but happiness for the three of them, for the foreseeable future.  He saw the openly evaluating stare Cloud was aiming at him, and could feel Sephiroth's longing to include him in what they had, but Zack shook his head just the tiniest bit, smile still in place.

/_Not today,/ he thought.  /__Maybe some other time, but not on this day.  Today is for the two of you./_

"You guys look like you could use some more sleep," he said aloud.  "Go back to bed.  I'll deal with whatever comes up."

Sephiroth eyed him a moment longer, then sank back down on to the bed.  Cloud, however, stepped forward and gave Zack a tight hug.  "Whenever you want, Zack, you're welcome."

Zack stroked Cloud's hair (which was spiky even after sex and having been slept on), then cupped his cheek in one hand.  He leaned in and gave Cloud a quick kiss, then stepped away.  "Sleep, Cloud," he said, voice slightly husky with controlled longing.  The blond nodded and climbed obediently back into bed.

Zack left, a smile on his face.  He was looking forward to the next several months.

*     *     *

  No, minna, no lemon.  Sorry.  I don't want to screw with rating any.  Besides, some people get offended by gratuitous sex, sometimes, even me, depending on context.  (Bet you never thought you'd hear that from **me, huh, SVR?  Heh heh heh.)  I will write the lemon though, since it ****is Cloud's first time…  But it's not crucial to the story, I'm going to post it separately.**

  Wow, I guess I have no other notes.  Makes up for the novella I stuck on the end of the previous part!

  Thanks for reading, and reviews are appreciated!

  --Akuma no Tsubasa


	12. Love on the Last Day

It **lives**!  (me, not the fic…there was never any doubt about that!)  I bet you never thought you'd see the day.  To apologize for the long siesta, this part is a little longer than most.  I changed and developed a lot of the relationships in this part, and Cloud gets a **HUUUUGE** bomb to drop on his mother…*smirk*

*

_(Almost one year later.)_

"Heeellloooooo~!  You guys home?" Cloud called into the quiet house.  He yanked his boots off as he dumped his backpack on his chair.

"In the kitchen, Cloud!" Zack's disembodied voice called.  Cloud padded in that direction, stripping off his jacket and dumping it in an out-of-the-way spot on the floor.  Just as he did so, however, Sephiroth's voice came to him, as well.

"Pick up that jacket right now, Cloud Strife.  If you want it to be washed, anyway."

Cloud sighed and rolled his eyes.  He was just getting too predictable.  He bent to scoop up the offending garment, straightened with a sigh, and gave an extremely unmanly squeak when a set of powerful arms twined about him from behind.  Sephiroth buried his face against the side of his neck, and whispered in his ear "Welcome home, Cloud."

Zack appeared in front of the both of them, a wide grin on his face.  "Ne, Seph, if you don't let go, we won't be able to ask him how it went today."

Sephiroth shrugged and proceeded to nibble lightly at Cloud's ear.  Cloud's eyebrows went up at the signal he had recognized from almost right off in their relationship.  /_Well, **someone's** certainly horny this evening!/ he thought.  /__Not that I'm complaining…./  He sighed and relaxed against the still much taller man.  He fixed heavy lidded eyes on Zack, silently willing him to take the invitation.  Zack had steadfastly refused all attempts to get him into bed with the two of them, and Cloud was starting to get annoyed.  As much as he loved Zack, the man sure knew how to tick him off!_

Zack grinned irreverently.  "Well, it must've gone at least **okay.  Spike, I can see the feathers sticking out of your mouth from **here**."  Cloud wiped at his mouth, a wide grin spreading on his face, despite being vaguely irritated.**

"Oh, is that what that was?  I had wondered why my mouth tasted fluffy…"

Zack laughed.  "C'mon, Seph.  I'm sure he'll sleep with you.  You don't have to work so hard at convincing him."  The general didn't even pause in his wet ministrations, and Cloud grimaced.

"Seph, you better stop that, unless you want to help me explain the resultant spectacular hicky when I go in to work tomorrow.  Or when I go to check the results."

Sephiroth quirked a brow, actually deigning to lift his mouth from Cloud's throat.  "So you made it?"

Cloud shrugged.  "Well, they didn't tell me I was 'too short', this time."

Sephiroth smiled a decidedly unpleasant smile.  "They wouldn't have dared.  You've already seen more of SOLDIER than some SOLDIERs have and you have Zack and me as friends.  Besides, if they'd turned you out that lightly, half the garrison here in Midgar, as well as most out in Wutai, would have been immediately on the war path."  Zack nodded in solemn agreement.

"Damn straight, and those that didn't immediately go ballistic would be hearing treasonous and inflammatory speeches from yours truly at this very moment," Zack said, a grim light in his silvery-blue eyes.  Cloud smiled at the two of them.

"Thanks, guys.  I really appreciate it."  He swiveled his head to look into Sephiroth's green eyes.  "What say you," he started, his voice low and husky, "that we go find a nice place to…celebrate?"

It was always so easy to tell when Sephiroth liked a suggestion like that (though he seldom **didn't**).  With such pale eyes, the effects of their pupils dilating was stunning.  Now Sephiroth's eyes did just that, turning to black pools surrounded by glowing Mako green, and Cloud felt a heady rush of power.  He wasn't the sort who needed to be in charge all the time, but he did occasionally like being in control, a fine difference sometimes overlooked, and it was always so much fun to tease Sephiroth.

As their kiss grew more and more passionate, and Sephiroth started touching him, heedless of what Zack might be seeing, Cloud was suddenly struck by a sense of **wrongness**.  After a moment, he figured out why.

There were two hands too many on him.

With a gasp, Cloud broke free of Sephiroth's delicious mouth and twisted to look in the direction he guessed the owner of those hands must have been in.  He found himself at eye level with a familiar set of SOLDIER rank insignia.  Behind him now, Sephiroth chuckled softly.

"I had wondered just how long you could hold out, Zack."

Cloud felt strong arms pull him against his dark-haired friend's body, and groaned as one muscular thigh slipped between his legs.  He didn't really hear Zack's reply of "Well, now you know," hearing only the husky growl under the words.  He rubbed himself against his friend's leg, purring in sheer enjoyment, not even capable of a barb of his own.

Sephiroth smirked.  Cloud could **feel** him doing it, even without looking, and dug an elbow into his pale-haired lover.  He kept his body against Zack's, though, refusing to allow the other an opportunity to escape.

"I think we ought to get blondie here into bed before he gets into your pants **with** you, Zack."  Sephiroth's voice was nothing but amused and pleased.  Zack's reply, however, was downright **evil**.

"Bed?  Who needs a bed?  Especially when we have the whole house in which to have our wicked ways with him!"

Sephiroth laughed, surprised.  "Why, Colonel!  What a scandalous suggestion!"

Zack dragged Cloud along with him, and it wasn't in the direction of either of the bedrooms.  Zack's voice was both teasing and serious.  "Well, ya know, I've been having this dream about taking Spike in the middle of the kitchen table since we met.  Now I wanna find out if the fantasy did justice to reality!"

*

Well, they had **eventually** made it into bed.  After they made it to the kitchen table, the bathroom, and the garage, but they had eventually made it.

Cloud was now content to allow himself to cuddle in Zack's arms, one hand fisted in Sephiroth's hair, and a still-flushed cheek against his shoulder.  Cloud certainly didn't wonder what the big deal was with threesomes anymore.  It was as if Zack's participation alone had suddenly inspired Sephiroth to some of the most creative love-play Cloud had ever experienced, and Sephiroth had **always** had quite an imagination.  Cloud was never again going to be able to look at that motorcycle without turning an attractive shade of beet red.

"So," Zack started lazily, one hand tracing random patterns on Cloud's flank.  "Tell us about your day."

Cloud grinned.  "Lessee.  Sex with Seph in the shower at 0530.  Breakfast.  Drive to the testing facility.  Wait three hours.  Test for four.  Come home.  Lots of sex."

Sephiroth lightly thwapped Cloud in the back of the head.  "More details, silly."

Cloud pretended to be confused.  "But…well, I got up for a shower and…"  Cloud laughed at the mock glares he was receiving.  "All right, all right!  I give, but this story won't be any where near as interesting."

Zack grinned.  "We work in the **Shinra**, Cloud.  **Boring is in the job description."**

Cloud shrugged.  "Well, I waited around for three hours.  Then they called me up and I did the physical testing—again—then the written test—**again**—then the psychological exams—**_again_**.  I swear, I hate reruns, and I just sat through four hours of them!  Thank the Planet for you guys, or I'd've killed someone by now.  Probably in the psych department.  Damn, I hate shrinks!"

Sephiroth smiled.  "Join the club, Cloud.  I don't know many people who really **like** shrinks, anyway.  Even those that aren't Shinra."

Zack rolled his eyes.  "Damn straight.  They're **all freaky."**

Cloud smirked, then the expression faded.  "Well, I suppose I'll know in a few days.  Until then, I don't even want to think about it."

Zack frowned.  "Why so down, Spike?  This was your dream, wasn't it?"

Cloud shrugged, and wouldn't meet either pair of worried eyes.  "Yeah, it's more or less my dream, but…Mom won't like it.  Not at all.  I know I'm 'an adult' and she has no legal say in anything I do, but…I don't **feel** like an adult all the time.  And I want Mom to be proud of me, not just reluctantly accepting.  You know?"

Zack sighed.  "Yeah, I hear that."  At Cloud's questioning look, Zack shrugged.  "I left home, more or less without my parent's permission.  And that was before I was old enough to do so by law.  I told them where I was going, what I'd be doing, but I haven't even talked to them since.  It's been…about five years now."

Sephiroth sighed softly.  "At least you guys **have** parents.  My mother died giving birth to me, and my 'father'…"  Sephiroth scowled, soul deep hatred burning in his face.  "He lost any right to be called that long ago."

Both other men were silent in the face of what appeared to be a raw and bleeding wound in their companion.  But then Sephiroth took a deep breath and smiled at them.  "I'm fine.  Really.  It doesn't hurt so much, anymore."

Cloud shifted from Zack's arms to Sephiroth's, trying to comfort the pale man as best he could with his mere physical presence.  The taller man gratefully accepted Cloud's cuddling, pressing his face into Cloud's blond hair.  Zack also pressed close, and the three of them lay quietly for several minutes, lost in their own separate thoughts.  Then Cloud smiled at his two lovers, wrapping a hand around a lock of Zack's hair to match the lock he still had not released of Sephiroth's hair.

"Well, why don't we get some sleep.  I'm tired, I worked my ass off today, and I have work tomorrow, unlike **some** laze-abouts I could name…"

Zack grinned and ruffled Cloud's spiky hair.  "Just 'cause we know about weekends, and you silly Regulars don't…"

Cloud pouted while attempting to look menacing, which didn't really work, and just sent his bedmates into fits of giggles.  Finally, all three of them quieted and eventually drifted off to sleep.

*

_(About a month later.)_

"C'mon, Spike!  You **have** to come!" Zack exclaimed.  Cloud shook his head and glared mulishly at the dark-haired SOLDIER.

"No way, Zack.  I left telling everyone that I'd come back a SOLDIER, and I'm not going back there to get laughed at because I didn't make it!"

"Cloud, **everyone** knows you made it.  Just because Shinra is taking its damn sweet time telling us what we knew all along doesn't mean you didn't make it.  And even if you didn't, all of SOLDIER knows and respects you.  You could go around in SOLDIER uniform all you wanted, and no one would do a thing to stop you."  Sephiroth shook his head.  "Come on, Cloud.  We really could use your help.  We've got a guide, but I don't know if we can rely on her.  Another person familiar with the area would make things much easier."

"Not to mention, more survivable," Zack commented grimly.  "Why they're only allowing two SOLDIERs to go on this mission is beyond me.  This is a job for at **least** a platoon.  There are just too many caves and barely accessible places for the monsters to hide and breed in for two SOLDIERs—no matter how good—and a couple Regulars to check out.  We're just trying to stack the deck better than Shinra apparently wants us to."

Cloud shook his head.  "I dunno…I have a baaad feeling about this mission…"

Sephiroth nodded.  "Of course.  So do we.  Which is why we want you along.  To be honest with you, I would **love to have you stay behind, safe."  Cloud couldn't help but bristle a little.  He could take care of himself!  **

Sephiroth continued.  "But while we're being honest, I also have to tell you that you're probably the best the Regulars have had in a long time—maybe ever!—and you **will** be one of the best SOLDIERs.  As much as I don't want you anywhere you could be hurt, we **need** you."

Zack nodded.  "He's right.  Spike, you're too good to avoid where you're needed just because of some idiotic townsfolk who have not idea the bureaucracy that goes on in the Shinra.  If all else fails, you could just wear your helmet and mask the whole time."

Cloud stared disbelievingly at Zack.  "Let me get this straight.  You want me to go to a town where most of the people think I'm demon spawn, or something, in a nasty old truck, over some of the worst backroads on the whole continent, wearing my helmet and not speaking the whole time, and praying to the Planet that no one gets the sense to read my nameplate?"

Zack cringed.  He had forgotten the nameplates the Regulars wore on their uniforms.  SOLDIER didn't wear them, they were close-knit enough to know most everyone they served with, and their dog-tags were enough to identify their bodies if they died in battle.  Regulars had masks that covered their whole faces, so even best friends wouldn't be able to identify each other—thus, nameplates.

Cloud glared and continued.  "And the damn nameplate is the **least of my worries.  Just thinking about going up and down in a clapped out old truck is making me sick right ****now.  Not to mention, I ****do have classes to teach ****and to study for."**

Zack smirked.  "Well, I might have a solution to the motion sickness."  He stepped toward Cloud, extending a thin chain of mythril, with a tiny purple Materia orb suspended on it.  "There ya go.  Anti-motion sickness Materia: beats the hell outta the pills!"

Cloud smiled.  "Well, thanks.  Leave it to Zack to find an easy, practical solution to whatever ails ya."  He looked back and forth between them.  "So, anyone got any bright ideas about the nameplate thing?"

Sephiroth squirmed uncomfortably, and Zack turned keen eyes to his long-time friend.  Sephiroth was **troubled**, nervous beyond anything Zack had ever seen on him before.  Then he got a sudden suspicion.  /_Would he?  Now?  Oh, **my**!_/

Sephiroth ran a hand through his hair, looking quite harried.  "Planet.  And I thought I was ready for this."

Suddenly Sephiroth just seemed to want to get it over with.  He tore something out of his pocket, shoved it into Cloud's hands, and half ran to the other side of the room.  Cloud stared at his tense enough to snap lover, then glanced at the tiny box in his hand, like you'd get jewelry in.

Cloud just about fell over when his mind made the connection between the box and Sephiroth's strange behavior.  Hands shaking and heart in throat, Cloud opened the little box.  Inside was a simple silver ring.  It had no stones, no markings, and absolutely nothing to distinguish it from any other ring.

But Sephiroth had given it to him, given it with an amount of nervousness that indicated that this **meant something more to him than the simplicity of the gift might indicate.**

Cloud swallowed hard.  "Sephiroth?  Does this…mean…"  He swayed on his feet, on the verge of fainting, which was ludicrous.  He could stare down armies, contradict his superiors, get naked with the two most powerful SOLDIERs in the Shinra, yet one tiny silver ring was enough to bring him to the floor?

Sephiroth's green eyes turned to him suddenly, worried.  "If—if I've overstepped… just say so.  It-it's okay."

Cloud swayed again, and this time did collapse, hanging his head between his knees in an effort not to faint before he could tell Sephiroth that it was all right.  "Overstepped?  How could **this—"  He indicated the ring.  "****Possibly be a bad thing?"**

Sephiroth's eyes lit with sudden hope, though he was careful to school his face into neutrality.  "So…" he started carefully.  "Do you want to?"

Cloud nodded, tears welling in his eyes, and Sephiroth was suddenly holding him, stroking his hair, his breath trembling as he fought tears of his own.  Zack smiled, and thought about the ring he had for Aeris, hoping she wouldn't just about faint like Cloud had.  He would die if she did.

Of course, as their best friend and sometime-lover he had a duty to rain on their parade.  "Seph, that doesn't really solve the problem of the nameplate.  I mean, you don't have a last name.  Spike's still gonna be running around with 'STRIFE' right on his chest for the whole literate world to read."

Sephiroth shrugged.  "Whatever.  If anyone says anything to him, I'll make sure they regret it."  He glanced at Cloud.  "Right?"

Cloud shook his head, fingering the ring as if checking to make sure it was real.  "Whatever you say, Seph.  At this moment, I could shout my name from the rooftops of that dinky little place, and not give a rat's ass what people thought."

Zack shook his head at the lovebirds and started for the door.  "Well, I think I'll leave the two of you alone to celebrate.  I have some stuff I need to do, too.  After Cloud's agreed to come, we can sit down and try to plan this wedding!"

*

Cloud shook out his watery legs as he scrambled out of the truck.  He was infinitely grateful for the anti-motion sickness Materia, but even so, his head was spinning and his stomach heaving.  Being **here** wasn't helping matters any, either.  Cloud looked out across the town that he'd been born in, the one that had once been designated 'home.'  Now, home was wherever Sephiroth and Zack were, although a part of him still quailed at the thought of being entirely without his mother.

He was kind of glad to be here now, though.  It just didn't feel right to send his mother a letter to tell her that he was getting married, and to the General of SOLDIER, no less.  He wanted to tell her face-to-face about their engagement, even though he had butterflies careening around in his mid-section—the big Wutaian kind that came complete with spines and stingers.  Cloud really wanted to go see her **now**, to get this whole business over with, but he knew he was going to chicken out, and put it off until they were ready to leave again.

A big, warm hand landed suddenly on his shoulder, and Cloud's head popped up.  He knew it was Zack before he even looked (Sephiroth wasn't so friendly on-mission, and the other Regular with them held him in almost the same reverence as Sephiroth), but he still jumped slightly.  Then he smiled up at the dark-haired man, despite the mask covering the expression, sure the other would pick up on it, anyway.

"Relax, Spike," Zack said, softly.  "At least you have this beautiful opportunity to speak to your mother and introduce the guy who's whisking you away.  And no in-laws to deal with!"  He glowered.  "I **still** have to work up the courage to meet Aeris's mom.  Aeris already told her about the engagement, but she really wants to meet me.  And I haven't the faintest idea what to tell **my** parents!  I haven't even spoken with them in five years!"

Cloud grinned evilly.  "You know, if we wanted to take a more used route back to Costa del Sol, we would go right past Gongaga…"

Zack shook his head vehemently.  "Unlike you, Spike, I don't have the balls to just show up on my parents' doorstep and drop the bomb.  I'll just send a letter.  Hell, maybe I should just send an old-fashioned pen-and-paper letter, instead of a vid-disc."

Something in Cloud rebelled.  "No way!" he exclaimed, then leaned in.  "You better at least send a picture!  It's been **five _years_!  They probably don't have the faintest idea of what you look like, now!  Especially since you're always behind the scenes, and make Seph handle all the PR stuff."**

Zack snorted and stepped away.  "Whatever.  I'll think about it.  Until then, we should probably be doing our job, right?"

Cloud nodded, threw a salute he hadn't bothered with in front of Zack for months, and took up the usual 'clueless grunt' position expected of Shinra Regulars.  Sephiroth started into town ahead of them, so Cloud and the other Regular—some guy by the name of Carver, newly transferred to Midgar from one of Nibel Region's smaller towns.  That was the official reason he was here instead of someone more experienced.  He was nice, willing to work hard, but just a little more uptight than was probably good for him.

Sephiroth paused at the very edge of town and turned back to them.  "How does it feel?" he asked of Cloud, who really had no idea what he was asking about. As if sensing his confusion, Sephiroth clarified with a slow shake of his head.  "It's your first time back to your hometown in a while, right?  So, how does it feel?"  He seemed kind of wistful, and his eyes were sad as he murmured, "I wouldn't know because I don't have a hometown…"

Cloud started to understand what Sephiroth was asking.  People assumed Sephiroth had been born in Midgar, like a good Company boy, but no one, including Sephiroth, really knew.  For all Cloud knew, Sephiroth could have been born right here in Nibelheim.

As a result of that uncertainty, Sephiroth was prone to long periods of disorientation and depression.  He felt out of place and unwanted a distressing amount of the time.  Cloud was sure he and Zack helped give Sephiroth a place to belong, a refuge, but  there was only so much the two of them could do against a lifetime of not knowing even the most basic answers to the questions "where do I come from," and "why am I here?"

Of course, Carver just had to speak up, wanting to learn more about this living legend.  "Umm…how 'bout your parents?"

Cloud could have throttled the man cheerfully.  /_Of **course he has to go and poke at the biggest sore of them all!**_/ Cloud thought angrily, but pushed his anger back.  Sephiroth seemed willing enough to play along, for now, so Cloud wouldn't interfere.  The moment Carver's questions started to irritate, annoy, frustrate, anger, hurt, or otherwise provoke negative responses from Sephiroth, though, Cloud would be glad to shut him up.

While Cloud went about his musings, Sephiroth adopted his usual thinking posture.  It wasn't a posture he took up for all his thinking, just when he was recalling unpleasant personal things.  Even Cloud rarely saw him thinking like that, but this was the one subject that brought all of Sephiroth's defensive mannerisms to the surface.

"My mother is Jenova," Sephiroth began, his tone slightly distant.  "She died right after she gave birth to me.  My father…"  He trailed off into bitter laughter, waving off the rest of whatever he might have said.

Cloud glanced uneasily at Zack.  Both of them knew who Sephiroth's father was, and how much Sephiroth loathed and despised him.  Of course, he wouldn't go into details in front of some Regular who seemed an awful lot like cannon fodder, but that didn't mean he wasn't thinking of the monster he had for a father.  Hell, Seph would undoubtedly have preferred to have been born to a real beast than to the so-called man who had sired him.

Zack shrugged, as if to say _Don't worry about it.  Seph's in control, and Hojo ain't around to do anything to him anyway, but Cloud felt a bubble of unease well in him.  This whole mission was strange.  Zack and Sephiroth had thought so, too, but they were both acting so…nonchalant, careless.  It was sort of disturbing._

Sephiroth sighed, obviously desiring to end this discussion.  "What does it matter…?" he asked, almost more of himself than anyone else.  His eyes flicked up to meet Cloud's through the mask, and Cloud felt Sephiroth drawing comfort and strength from his presence.  The darkness in his eyes fled to be replaced with the light that usually filled them, and Cloud breathed a silent sigh of relief.  Sephiroth was going to be okay.

Sephiroth made a commanding gesture toward the village, back to his usual self.  "All right, let's go," he said, and started off.  The rest of them followed after, as was proper.  Cloud had briefed his lover on the layout of the town, so Sephiroth knew where the inn was.  If there was anything Sephiroth hated more than feeling foolish, Cloud had yet to discover it, so he had told the General all he could about the town in advance, under the guise of a simple tactical briefing.  He'd even drawn a map of Nibleheim and the surrounding mountains, to prevent any mishaps.  He doubted the area had changed much.

They stopped in front of the inn.  Sephiroth turned back to face them.

"We leave for the reactor at dawn.  Make sure you get to sleep early," Sephiroth said, comfortable in his command position.  He glanced at Carver.  "All we need is one lookout," he turned to Cloud and Zack.  "So you others get some rest."  He started to enter the inn, then paused and looked back at Cloud.  "Oh and…You may visit your family and friends," he said, as casually as if he was talking about the weather, despite the fact that Cloud was suddenly sweating under his uniform in the cool mountain air.  Sephiroth vanished into the inn.

Cloud and Zack took off on a slow loop of the town square, mostly trying to escape the too-sharp ears of their fourth, but also making sure that the town was secure.  None of them really knew Carver, so they were being slightly more cautious than usual.

Cloud turned to Zack as sure as he was sure they were out of ear-shot.  "God, Zack!  What am I gonna do?!"

Zack blinked.  "Do?  You **were going to visit your mother, weren't you?  Seph just gave you permission, so go on!  I can make the rounds, you just take care of things with your mom, okay?"**

"But…How?"

Zack rolled his eyes.  "Like I know…  I haven't done this yet, either.  Just don't chicken out, Spike.  That's all I can think of for advice."

Cloud glared.  "Thanks a lot!  That does me a lot of good!"  He put his hands on his hips.  "Can I at least count on you to be there for back-up?  You know, moral support?"

Zack held his hands out between them, chuckling nervously.  "No, no, that's okay!  I wouldn't dream of intruding!"  The dark-haired man scampered off so fast he practically evaporated.  Cloud scowled and shook a fist in the air.

"Jerk!!!!"

*

Cloud hesitantly stepped into his mother's house only to be arrested by a flash of white hair.  Cloud was always confused as to how Sephiroth **always managed to get places before he did, even when the General had no idea where he was supposed to be headed.  Yet there he was, standing in what had once been Cloud's home, when Cloud hadn't even seen him leave the inn.**

As if sensing Cloud's bemusement, the pale-haired man shot a knowing glance over his shoulder at Cloud, just as Cloud's mother noticed her visitors.  She turned around, eyes widening—after all, there was no one in the world who would fail to recognize SOLDIER's General.

"Ye—s?" she asked, warily.  Cloud had heard Zack mutter something about the people around here being scared of them as they entered town, and, though the thought hadn't really occurred to him, Cloud found it was reasonable.

Sephiroth was a master at disarming people, though, and smiled his most charming smile, walking toward Cloud's mother.  He stopped before her and bent his head both out of respect and as a concession to her small size.

"Are you Mrs. Strife?" he asked, his manners so perfect and looking so beautiful Cloud wanted to cry in envy and in sheer rapture.  To think that this perfect, perfect person was **his**…!

Cloud's mother looked at him, still a bit uneasy, but her face softened at his gentleness, utterly unaware that he would never have shown it to her if he had doubted for a moment her identity.  Her reply came out a quiet, but confident "Yes, I am she," and Cloud couldn't have been prouder of her.  He'd really just about genuflected upon meeting Sephiroth, even if he had managed to keep a strong front.

Sephiroth smiled a genuine smile—not so wide, but more in the eyes.  He took her hand and placed an elegant kiss on it.  "I cannot even begin to tell you what a pleasure it is to finally meet you, madam!  I am Sephiroth, at your service.  Cloud has told me so much about you."

Cloud's mother's eyes went wide.  "You…you know Cloud?  How?"

Sephiroth shrugged.  "He's my best friend, actually.  And a very fine soldier.  And an unbelievably tremendous student!  How he juggles all that, I'll never know.  Heck he's even a war hero, now!"

Cloud's mother's eyes looked ready to pop clear out of her head.  "Your… **friend?!?!  A **war** hero?  How did that happen?"**

Sephiroth smiled.  "He basically did really well in a sparring match against my other best friend.  Then the three of us got to talking and suddenly I have another best friend."  Sephiroth frowned slightly.  "Moderately confusing, actually.  Then he got pulled into that little uprising in Wutai, and basically saved the Army."

Cloud finally stepped forward, to save his mother from any further shocks from Sephiroth's end.  He did want her to survive **his** little surprise.  "C'mon, Seph, quit giving her coronaries!"

His mother looked a him so fast he thought she'd break her neck.  "Cloud?!  Welcome home, Cloud!"

Cloud straightened himself, and removed his helmet.  "Hi, Mom.  I'm home."  He held his head up high, knowing there was no other way to do this than to just get it out.  He could feel Sephiroth's support practically glowing around him as he spoke the words he had to say.

"Mom, I'm getting married."

There was a long silence while his mother digested that.  Her face chanced from shocked, to delighted, to dismayed, to sad, to overjoyed in the space of a few moments.  "How wonderful!  Oh, Cloud you're all grown up, now!  Who **is** the lucky girl?  What's she like, where's she from?"

Cloud shook his head.  "**He** is right here."  At her blank expression, Cloud rephrased his statement.  "I'm marrying Sephiroth."

*

            Okay, yes.  Zack is a little kinked.

            Yes, Cloud and Sephiroth are engaged, as are Zack and Aeris.  I know Zack jumped into bed with them, then right back out, but they gave him an open invitation…  Besides, it happens all the time.

            Beware!  The next part starts the depressing stuff that was basically the game timeline.  Don't be looking for fluffiness in the next installment.  That means, no, they never did manage to actually tie the knot.  Neither did Zack and Aeris.  She just seemed to me to be lying outright when she said she and Zack weren't serious, so of **course I had to get them engaged!  I know I'm mean; I take great pride in that fact!**

            All right, here we go.  I am very sorry for my extended absence and lack of work on this fic or any other.  Finals week all I could think of was fics, but, come winter break, all the muses had evaporated.  I truly am sorry.  I'm also sorry that Real Life overtook me: the problem of having two math courses and programming.  Please don't hurt me!  Review, too!

            Many, many thanks to those who supported me in getting this part done and out, especially Nathan, who **will get more TFTMW eventually, and SVR for getting me a FFVII script site, and generally drooling over the concept of Cloud and Seph marrying.  *grin***

            To my reviewers: I love you!  Too many of you deserve Fic-Writers's Dream Reviewer Awards for Patience, Encouragement and General Excellence, and I really wish there were such a thing.  For those who've only reviewed a few times, I still love you, and some of you have some of the best reviews, too!  *eyes fill with tears*  You guys are WAYYY too good for me!

            If you want to be on a list to receive alerts that I've updated, just give me an email address and something to call you (as in, a name, nickname, penname, etc.) and tell me so.  To those on the list: yay!  See, I didn't forget you!

            Comments, questions, concerns, and all other forms of long-distance sugar/caffeine rush (a.k.a. 'reviews') are welcome and adored.

            Bai-bai!

              --Akuma no Tsubasa


	13. Melting Away

Yo, minna!

Once again, I find I must apologize for the long time between updates.  This part was **so** hard to write.  You know, I'd get all jazzed up for it, then I'd open the site with the scripts for this part of the 'game' and look at how much I had to rewrite…*sob*  In the end, I decided not to go overboard on the script alterations.

So yeah!  The results!  How **did Cloud's mother take it?  Does anyone actually read Cloud's nameplate?  When does the angst and horror I promised start?  Read on!**

*

"Sooo?  How'd it goooo?"

Cloud almost jumped out of his skin at Zack's drawled question.  He hadn't even realized the other was standing there.  He turned to look and discovered that Sephiroth was also standing nearby, looking almost as nervous as he had when first proposing.  Cloud regained his cool quickly, though, finding it much easier to do so with a mask on, and shrugged at the both of them.

"Okay.  I got the 'how could you be marrying a man?!' and 'but I wanted grandchildren!' lectures, but I think things went rather well."  He turned and glared at Sephiroth.  "And just **where** did you disappear to, anyway?  I swear, one minute you're there, the next you're not, and I'm desperately making stuff up about you so mom doesn't pitch a fit about everything from how much older you are, to why you wear so much leather!"  Cloud growled, and Sephiroth had the grace to look sheepish.

"There was a monster, and I had to go, unless we actually **wanted** our inept companion to die."  He held up his pager.  "You can check the history, if you want…"

Cloud sighed.  "Nah, I'm not really that mad."  He turned and started to walk back toward the inn, Zack and Sephiroth on either side.  "Well, once Mom finished lecturing, throwing things, accusing you of being a kink out to corrupt me, _et cetera, __et cetera, she seemed to accept it.  Once she had asked whether there were any 'trust issues,' whether I knew what it would be like to live with you, what the sex was like—"_

Zack interrupted.  "What?!?!?!  Your **mom asked about ****sex?!?!?!"**

Cloud blinked.  "Well, yeah.  So?"

Zack shook his head.  "Geeze.  Am I the only one in the world whose parents are prudes?"

Cloud giggled.  "I doubt it Zack, but it would be funny.  It's just mostly a Nibel thing.  Well, worse than most places.  Since we all grow up so fast, it's pretty much useless, not to mention counter-productive, to hide that kind of stuff.  Shoot, most of us don't even go through that whole 'cooties' phase."  Cloud shrugged.  "We're weird."

Sephiroth smirked.  "All the better for me.  I'm glad you're weird, Cloud.  I'm also really glad your mother's weird enough to go along with this."

Cloud grinned.  "Too bad you didn't let our inept companion die.  It would have been really nice to have sex tonight, ne?"

Zack snorted.  "You two are **so** gonna get busted.  You're talking awfully loud in an awfully small town…"

Cloud grinned and raised his voice.  "OH, YOU MEAN LIKE THIS???  I CAN TALK EVEN LOUDER IF YOU WANT!  IT'S NOT A PROB—"

Zack clamped a hand over Cloud's mouth, cloth mask and everything, effectively muffling the blond.  He glared.  "Thy mouth runneth over, Spike."

Sephiroth smirked a dirty little smirk.  "Well, he certainly has practice screaming at the top of his lungs.  And **lots of practice with his mouth."**

Zack glared again.  "You're not helping, Seph."

Sephiroth laughed, as did Cloud, judging by the way his shoulders shook.  Despite himself, Zack also chuckled and released Cloud.  The three of them walked into the inn, ignoring the stares the villagers (and their inept companion ™) were giving them.

*

Cloud yawned as he walked out to the small open space in front of the old mansion where they were to meet for the mission.  He shivered slightly in the cold morning air, but he had spent almost all of his life in these mountains, so it didn't really bother him.

He had had the second turn watching the town, so he had only been a little later than usual to bed.  It wasn't really enough to tire him, but his body was insisting that it was.  He ignored it.

Actually, he had enjoyed his watch.  It had been late afternoon when he had taken over, and well into the night when Zack had come to relieve him.  He had spent the time stalking around the town in a purposefully random pattern.  One of the older men in the village, Cap Glenn, who had seen action during the Dragoon Wars—the ones before the Wutai Wars—had also patrolled the town.  He was old, Cloud couldn't remember a time when his hair had not been grey, his face wrinkled by time and the elements, but he was still strong and carried his dragon-slaying spear with the confidence of one still in practice with the deadly implement.

Cloud had felt much better knowing that old Cap Glenn was out patrolling, too.  If the old man could take down dragons, then he was definitely a valuable ally.

Not to mention that the old veteran's approval of him and his patrol strategy, while unspoken, felt distinctly good.  Especially since the Dragoon Wars were said to have been even more vicious than the ones in Wutai.

Now Cloud stepped into place behind Sephiroth and beside the other Regular.  They were waiting on Zack—as usual, since Zack seemed to be allergic to sunlight before 0900—but Cloud used the time to study the small crowd gathered at the town's back exit.

There was a guy standing off to one side, clutching a camera and visibly trying to work up the nerve to ask if he could take a picture.  Cloud knew how much Sephiroth loathed cameras, and the fact that he had an actual **fanclub was more than merely irritating to him.**

There was Tifa standing off to one side, waiting for the right moment to sweep in and make her stunning entrance…ha.  How had he **ever managed to deal with that girl?  Why had he wanted to be her friend?  Combined with her father—also present—it was nearly impossible to get things right.  Pssht, he'd tried to ****save her on that damn rickety old bridge, damn it, and what did he get for it?  A beating, threats, and a warning to stay away from Tifa.**

Not a problem.  You couldn't pay him to get near her now.

There were a few others hanging around, those who dared the dawn monsters and braved the early morning chill to see them off.  Sephiroth was speaking with Tifa's father, when Tifa decided to make her entrance.  Encouraged by Sephiroth's easy attitude this morning, the camera-toting groupie asked for a picture.  Cloud shook his head.  He just wanted this mission **over** with.  In the excitement of telling his mother the news, it had been easy to dismiss his uneasiness over the mission, but now it was eating at his nerves like slow acid.

A hand landed on his shoulder.  Cloud's head snapped around, and his hands ached for his sword.  He hated being surprised, but he quickly toned down his reaction as he noticed it was old Cap Glenn.  The old man smiled slightly at his reaction, then handed something to him.

"For you," he said.  Cloud examined the thin adamant chain then glanced questioningly at the old man, who shrugged.  "Just a little good luck charm I got a long time ago.  I think you'll need it."  Cloud's questioning expression grew more intense, and Cap Glenn leaned close.  "I know they should have sent more people than they did on this mission.  This ain't gonna be no walk in the park, my boy, and you know it."  Cloud nodded solemnly and looped the chain around his neck, tucking it into his uniform. Cap smiled.

"Your pop'd be proud of you, Cloud.  I am, and I'm sure most of the town would be, if they knew as much as I about Wutai and what you did there."  Cloud's eyes widened, and his hand rose to cover his nameplate, but Cap waved him down.  "It's fine.  No one here's real observant, you might've noticed.  Just take care not to make your ma upset."  The grizzled old man turned to leave, but Cloud put a quick hand on his arm.  Cap turned back, an eyebrow raised, and Cloud nodded firmly.

"Thanks, Cap Glenn.  Appreciate your confidence, and your help."

The old-timer grinned, and Cloud got some sense of how vibrant he must have been as a young man, fighting in a long, bitter war as one of the first of the Shinra's Air Force pilots.

Maybe things were starting to look up.

*

Cloud stared up at the sky, trying to get his limbs to work and wheezing for the breath that had been so suddenly expelled from his aching lungs.

/_Fucking bridge!  I've only been on it like twice, and it broke both times!  Damnation, that really hurts!_/  A sudden thought occurred to him.  /_Sephiroth!  Zack!_/ and belatedly /_Tifa and Carver./_

Forcing his aching body to move, Cloud sat up and cast his gaze around himself.  His eyes came to rest on the still form of Sephiroth, not five feet away.  Scrambling on his hands and knees to where the other man lay, Cloud shook him gently.

"Seph?  Seph?  C'mon, wake up."

Sephiroth pulled a face.  "Blah," he muttered, blinking open his pale green eyes.  "Crappy bridge," he remarked, as casually as if he was discussing the weather.  "Does it **always** do that?"

Cloud smiled, relieved Sephiroth was okay.  "Well, the only other time I was on it, it did.  You've seen the scars on my knees.  It was really a pain walking for a couple weeks after that."

Sephiroth smirked.  "You seem to have lots of trouble walking, Cloud.  I mean really."

Cloud glared.  "You **perv**," he growled, but he didn't really feel angry.  He reached out, fluffed Sephiroth's hair in the number one guaranteed way to irritate him, and stood up just out of range of Sephiroth's swipe.  The General frowned at him a moment, then let it go, still possessing the remarkably good mood he'd been in since proposing.  Then he levered himself up and shook the lingering fuzziness out of his head.  He looked at Cloud.

"Are you good to go, Cloud?"

Cloud smiled ironically.  "Man, I was up before you, Seph.  And I worry about Zack."  He frowned.  "And Tifa and Carver, of course."

Sephiroth quirked a smile.  "Of course."  He caught Cloud by the arm and reeled him close.  "Have I told you recently how much I love you?"

Cloud smiled and pressed a light kiss to Sephiroth's mouth, not really surprised when it deepened all by itself.  When they broke apart, Cloud smiled.  "You just did.  And I love you, too."

Sephiroth smiled, then looked around to get his bearings.  He started off in one direction, and Cloud smiled as he fell in beside the older man.  /_Of **course he picks the right direction right off, even without ever being here before.  Despite the fact that this direction is the one reason would insist is the wrong one.**_/

They walked in companionable silence for a few minutes, before they encountered the rest of the party—minus Carver.  Sephiroth noted that they had no time to search for the missing man, and they started off again.

Cloud craned his head as they entered the mouth of a nearby cave.  The colors had always drawn him, even as a child when he had come here to find solitude and solace, but now the colors meant things to a mind stuffed to overflowing with all things Mako.  While Sephiroth, Zack, and Tifa wondered over the colors and their basis in Mako, Cloud read what the cave walls were telling him.  For example, that the reactor's output was down, and that it had plenty of extra Mako even if it was working at full capacity.  Of course, the barren appearance of the mountains indicated otherwise, but the Nibel Range had always been bare and frigid.

They stepped through into another natural chamber, and were greeted by a gorgeous Mako fountain.  The raw Materia on the top was larger than the last time Cloud had seen it, but that was to be expected.  The color had shifted a little further toward blue, which was also to be expected.

Materia color was due to a combination of factors, most importantly crystal formation rate, temperature, and pressure.  Most raw Materia was green, explaining the predominance of magic Materia.  Once upon a time, this fountain had produced green Materia because there was a lot of free Mako to crystallize and deposit, but with the reactor, there was less free Mako, crystal deposition had slowed, and the Materia had started to gain a blue tinge.  If it slowed much more it would start to yellow.  Of course, it would **look** green, since it had a blue under-layer, but a Materia's outermost layer determined its function, and the range of deposition influenced its function.  A green with very little else would be a quick-growing, weak Materia.  A Materia that was very slow growing would be a pure Red, and very strong.  Add a lot of pressure to a green, and it turned purple.  Manufactured Materia tended to be a bit more uniform in color so as not to confuse the user.

Sephiroth smiled at Cloud, albeit inconspicuously.  He'd obviously noticed Cloud's preoccupation with the Mako cave, and now with the 'fountain.  "A Mako fountain.  It's a miracle of nature."

Tifa frowned, puzzled.  "By the way... Why is that that when you use Materia you can also use magic too?" 

Sephiroth rolled his eyes.  "The knowledge and wisdom of the Ancients is held in the Materia," he stated with the tone of one reciting from a textbook.  "Anyone with this knowledge can freely use the powers of the land and the Planet. That knowledge interacts between ourselves and the Planet calling up magic... or so they say."

Cloud was fighting not to roll his eyes.  Knowledge of the Ancients, nothing!  It was just an energy field…maybe the 'Lifestream' held the knowledge of the Ancients, but something as small as a Materia couldn't possibly hold much.  Well, unless the knowledge was stored in the crystal faces and the angles between them.  But so far, there had been no headway in determining the type of magic a Materia held by measuring crystal faces—you still had to charge the crystal and actually cast the spell to figure that out.  And because of the processes that led to color change—heat, pressure, rate of growth—of **course** there were differences in the crystals of different colored Materia.  Until someone showed him conclusive evidence that predicted the type of magic in a Materia by examining the crystals, Cloud would remain firmly a skeptic.

Moving on, they at last reached the reactor.  Sephiroth, Zack, and Cloud had already determined that Cloud had to go in, since he was the Mako expert, And Sephiroth didn't want to part from him, so poor Zack got stuck babysitting Tifa, while the two of them headed inside.

Cloud immediately looked at the panel that displayed the status of the reactor.  It confirmed what the Mako colors in the caves had: Mako withdrawal was down about five percent.  Strangely, though, average crystal mass in the pods was **way** up.  Most reactors rotated so that there was a mostly continuous flow of Materia: one might have a little 'baby' Materia, no bigger than a grain of sand, one would be half-grown, and another would be almost fully grown.  To have that much mass in the pods meant they were **all** full of nearly grown Materia.  Individual pod sensors even indicated that a few of the pods were carrying something heavier than any Materia Cloud had ever seen.  Were they conducting experiments in the creation of super Materia?

Sephiroth, meanwhile, bent near to the front of one of the pods with a frown.  His Mako enhanced vision obviously was picking up something Cloud couldn't see from his position.  Then the General spoke.

"This is the reason for the malfunction. This part is broken. Cloud, close the valve."  He then moved up the staircase to examine the strange door at the top.  "This is…Jenova?"  He tugged lightly on the door.  "It won't open."

Cloud shrugged and moved to close the valve.  As close as he was, he too could see the hairline fracture in the pod, extending all the way to it's main feeder conduit, which also explained the heavy Mako smell in the air.  Closing the valve on the malfunctioning pod cut off the Mako supply to it.  Cloud closed it and wondered if there was any spare sealant around.  The free Mako, even just the fumes, were causing random mutations in the native flora and fauna, so it would probably be a good idea to go through and make sure **everything** was sealed tight to prevent further damage.  He carried some with him anyway—it was his **job, after all—but nowhere near enough to seal up a whole Mako reactor, if the damage was extensive.**

Cloud peered curiously up at the small round window on the pod.  This pod had been listed as one of those with an unusually heavy crystal mass, he realized.  He wondered if the added mass had caused the malfunction.  He climbed to his feet and stood on tip-toe to peer through the small opening—and fell back with a cry as he caught sight of what was contained inside.  /_That's no Materia!  That's…a monster!  And whoever put that in there is just as much a monster._/

Sephiroth suddenly appeared at his side, obviously alarmed by his soft exclamation.  "What is it?" he asked, worried.  Cloud shook his head, trying to calm his heaving stomach, and mutely waved Sephiroth toward the pod.  Sephiroth rose to look into the pod.  Cloud clearly saw him recoil, even though he caught himself and smoothed his expression out of reflex, and he felt better.  If it was bad enough to make **Sephiroth** flinch, Cloud didn't feel so bad about nearly losing his breakfast.

Sephiroth frowned thoughtfully once the immediate revulsion had faded.  "...Now I see, Hojo.  But doing this will never put you on the same level as Professor Gast," he muttered.  Cloud cocked a brow.

"Huh?"

Sephiroth looked at him.  "Think about it, Cloud.  Who has the access to Mako, the twisted scientific know-how, **and the power to pull off something like this?"  He gestured vaguely at the pod.**

Cloud shuddered.  "Hojo.  But what about Professor Gast?"

Sephiroth shrugged.  "Hojo has a huge inferiority complex when it comes to Professor Gast.  Don't ask me why.  Hojo's a walking mass of complexes, and I don't ever want to know him well enough to be able to say why exactly he has them."

Cloud nodded vigorously.  "That's for damn sure!"  He shuddered again.  "I've tinkered with genetics and phenotypes before, but to mess with humans…?  I hope for their sake that they were all dead long before they were put in these things.  Mako burns, and to be trapped in a tiny cage while your cells mutate and your body changes…"  Cloud had to shut up to control his gag reflex.  He could just **see** the poor 'test subjects'' terror as their bodies liquefied and reformed around them, the Mako both the cause of the changes and what kept them alive through them…

Sephiroth shook suddenly, violently, hand's rising to bunch in his hair.  Cloud rose, worried.  Sephiroth always responded oddly to mention of Mako experiments on living things, but to be looking right at such an experiment—and on humans, no less!—had to be doing a number on his head.  Combined with the Mako fumes in this place…

Cloud placed his hand on Sephiroth's shoulder and felt dizziness take him.  He heard Sephiroth's voice, faint and hollow as if echoed down a long tunnel, but still suffused with murderous rage, confusion, and despair.  "No….!  Was I created this way, too?  Am I the same as all these monsters?!"

Cloud gasped and jerked away from Sephiroth, and the weird echoing effect left.  Cloud found he was still standing beside Sephiroth, who was still shaking like a leaf in a gale.  It was a miracle he didn't just shake himself apart.

"…Sephiroth…" he whispered, anxious, but unwilling to touch the other again.  He knew that what he'd experienced had been thought amplification, probably due to all the loose Mako in the air carrying powerful thoughts to him through their physical contact.  Cloud did not want to invade Sephiroth's privacy again so he wouldn't touch him again until after they were outside the reactor, though he certainly wondered what had Sephiroth even imagining he could have been made like this.

            Cloud sighed and repeated himself, albeit more firmly.  "Sephiroth."

            Green eyes swung up to meet his, unease and disgust filling their depths.  Cloud mustered a smile.  "C'mon, Seph.  We should get out of here.  At least I should.  Mako exposure could be a bad thing, and I wanna be able to rub it into Hojo's face that I made SOLDIER despite all he could do."

            Sephiroth nodded, composing himself.  "You're right.  Besides, there's little we can do here, but close valves and seal pipes.  It's gonna take a crew of specialists to clean all this up."

            They turned toward the door together, both wanting to get the hell out of there, when there was a sudden sound that brought both of their heads around and their weapons out.  One of the pods on an upper level pitched over, the seals holding it closed failing.  Pressurized Mako hissed as it sprayed out the opening, and sloshed across the metal pipes and floor to gather in steaming pools of glowing green.

            Like some macabre egg, the pod split fully open, and a monster tumbled into sight.  Vaguely humanoid in form, it had short tentacles hanging from its head, and the flesh of its legs was a slimy, faintly glowing color reminiscent of raw meat.  A stink of flesh and soiled Mako washed over the room, and the monster heaved in a gasping breath of the foul air, even as Cloud and Sephiroth gagged on the fumes.

            Then Cloud finally **did throw up, as he watched the creature twitch, and gasp desperately for air, making horrible wheezing growls and struggling ineffectually to rise from the slick inside of the pod.  The creature's flesh began to run and drip off its body just as it reached to brace itself against the edge of the pod.  It left a blood-hued handprint on the edge of the shell and one of its fingers actually fell off, decomposing into a little puddle once it hit the floor.**

            After a few more minutes of struggle, the monster finally went limp after coughing out the soupy bags of its liquefying lungs.  The decomposition rate increased, and within a few moments of its final breath, all that was left of the creature was a puddle in the half of the pod that lay horizontally like a bowl.  Even its bones had broken down.

            They heard a startled exclamation behind them.  "Holy fuck!  What the hell **was that?!"**

            Sephiroth, now on hair-trigger nerves, whirled, his sword singing with the speed of his turn.  He'd recognized Zack's voice, though, and held his strike.  Zack looked distinctly green around the gills; he'd obviously seen the monster liquefy.

            "Zack," Cloud asked, trying to ignore his rebelling stomach and the smell of Mako accelerated decay.  "What are you doing in here?  Weren't you watching Tifa?"

            The dark-haired SOLDIER nodded, eyes glued with a sort of horrified fascination to the remains of the dead creature.  "Yeah, um, I was.  Oh, but she promised to stay outside, so I came in to see what was taking so long.  It's already been an hour, and you didn't check back, so…"

            Sephiroth nodded, pointedly **not looking at the open pod.  "That's fine.  If it's already been an hour, I would have worried, too.  But we're done here, for now.  When we get back into town, I'll call Midgar and see if we can get a team in here to fix this place."**

Zack shuddered.  "Yeah.  What the fuck was that thing, and what happened to it to make it just…melt…like that?"

Cloud felt a dry heave rising in the back of his throat and fought ruthlessly with it until he'd finally managed to force it down.  "It's mutations were unstable and it overestimated its fitness.  In the high-pressure environment of the pod, it may well have seemed stable.  However, upon moving to an environment that didn't exert the same forces on it to keep it intact, its still slightly unstable, semi-fluid body…disintegrated."

Zack clutched at his stomach, and even Sephiroth looked horrified.  "How do you know that, Cloud?"  Zack asked.

Cloud chuckled nervously.  "Class.  One of the teams thought their second project, a dead bird, was done changing and took it out too early and it did that.  You can use dead animals since organismal death does not always mean that all the cells are dead.  And you can even reanimate dead cells for a short time with Mako.  It's how we used to practice until we all got good enough to work on living things.  We kept those sedated, though, since it was deemed 'inhumane' to subject them to that kind of rapid mutation when they were aware…as if it wasn't inhumane anyway!"

Cloud shuddered.  "God, I don't think I can go back to that.  I don't think I can do it!"  He knew he was getting hysterical and tried to calm himself, but couldn't until Sephiroth put his warm, strong arms around him.  He looked up at the General, profoundly glad he was here, and flattered that such a man could ever want to be with him.  Sephiroth just smiled slightly, the haunted look in his eyes fading into a tiny ember in the backs of them to fuel nightmares.

"Let's just get out of here."

Zack placed a hand on his shoulder.  "Yeah, I agree."  Cloud looked up at Zack, smiled in gratitude for the silent strength he offered, then rose to his feet.  Sephiroth got up with him, not releasing him from his embrace.  He planted a quick kiss in his hair, then stepped away.  In anyone else, it might have seemed like a cold way to be, or at the very best, a weak token gesture, but Cloud was flattered that the other had allowed himself such a huge breach in protocol while at a mission site.  /_Proof,/ Cloud thought wryly. /__that no matter how strong you try to be, you still care.  You **are human, Seph, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise./**_

They exited the reactor to encounter a pouting Tifa.  The girl tried to get them to talk about the inside of the reactor, though she was surprisingly sneaky about it.  But Cloud, Sephiroth, and Zack spent the climb down in silence, and eventually she too quieted.  Cloud was grateful, since that meant he didn't have to think about it anymore.  He couldn't imagine eating lunch after this, and was secretly dreading having to sleep.

Surprisingly, once they got down into the town again, Sephiroth asked the mayor to please open the Shinra Mansion to them, since they were going to be there until the team of specialists got there to fix the reactor so the problem would not recur.  After promising they'd spend the next day exterminating any marauding monsters, Sephiroth dragged them off to the Mansion for some privacy.

They spent the night huddled together, all three of them, and praying that they could stave off sleep until they were too tired to dream.  Cloud hoped their comrade had just died when the bridge broke, as it seemed Mt. Nibel harbored many other ways of dying within it, many of them unimaginably worse.

When sleep came for Cloud at last, no longer allowing him to put it off, his dreams were blessedly formless, filled only with a distant sense of unease and restless fear.

*

Hi, again!

                Did you expect any other outcome?  Like Cloud's mom would be able to stay angry with such a beautiful son and his drop-dead gorgeous boy toy?  Ha!

                A little more Mako science, again.  I had to.  I'm always transfixed by that cave and the Mako fountain every time I see it.  I also like the Materia caves where you find KotR and the like.  *grin*

                Okay, that scene with the monster melting is a lot more gruesome in my head than I had the heart to write.  Maybe one day I'll go back and fix that.  For now though…nu-uh.

                Aa, yes, the Dragoon Wars.  That's part of another fic I've been attempting, but it's just not coming out yet.  Hell, like the war with Wutai would have been the first war in the history of the Planet since the fight against Jenova…which may also make it into a fic for me.

                Alright, to anyone who actually read _Scenic Route to the Promised Land_: do you think I should go ahead and alter it so it's acceptable under ff.net's stupider-than-ever policies?  I kinda don't want to, but it was growing a lot faster with people reviewing…as few as actually did.  Please either leave your response in a review, or email me.  In fact, review and email anyway!  I love to hear from all of you.

                Thanks again to Nate and SVR for all their support, and also to Steph (you do realize you must review this, now, right? ^__^)?

                Thanks, all!

                --Akuma no Tsubasa


	14. Eleventh Hour Conflagration

                Hello all!  It's been a while, hasn't it?  Six months…*sob*  I'm so ashamed of myself!  As busy as I've been, there's no excuse for **that kind of delay, especially on a fic I love so much.  Please accept my humble, but profuse apologies!**

                On a happier note, many thanks to my wonderful friends SVR and Nate, who periodically kick me into writing more.  There are also a number of regular reviewers I feel obliged to offer huge thanks to: you know who you are.  And for everyone the above didn't cover, thanks for just reading this!  Love ya all!

                On with the fic!

                **Warning: dark stuff starts really getting into gear with this part.  Murder, insanity, and grave injury ahead, so if this may offend or unduly upset you, please beware.**

*

Cloud stared blankly at the wall in the second story room into which Sephiroth had disappeared.  Two hours ago.  Cloud had eventually wondered what could possibly be so engaging in the room—he himself had gone over it several times in the past few days out of sheer boredom—so he'd gone in to find out.

But Sephiroth was nowhere around.

Cloud was thoroughly puzzled now.  There were no real escapes from the room, nothing to hide behind or under, and absolutely no signs of Sephiroth having slipped out before Cloud came in.  Cloud knew the General of SOLDIER was talented, but even he could not simply vanish into thin air.  At least, Cloud didn't **think he could…?  At this point, he was seriously beginning to wonder.**

Just then Zack walked in.  "'Sup, Spike?"

Cloud shrugged.  "I coulda sworn I saw Seph come in here.  And I didn't see him come out, so where…?"

Zack blinked, gazed around the room a minute, then approached the brick wall on the other side of the room.  Cloud started to ask what he was doing, when Zack gave the thing a shove and the whole wall slid out of sight faster almost than he could blink.

Cloud blinked.  There wasn't even a hairline crack there to indicate a door, but there it was.  Zack grinned.  "Learned about this through the grapevine.  No one ever went down here, but a couple guys found this…oh, about five years ago?  We all heard about it, but the Shinra stopped using this place…maybe Seph finally got bored enough to check it out?  I know **I was seriously contemplating it.  And heaven knows what's down there."**

Cloud blinked, then started after Zack as the dark-haired man started down the stairs beyond the dark opening.  Zack, however, waved him off.

"Don't worry 'bout it, Spike.  I'll go check it out and bring your little love muffin back for ya."

Cloud glared, but Zack was already out and away.  Scowling, Cloud plunked back down in the chair, waiting a few minutes for Zack to get down the stairs, then a few more to allow him time to get away from them, so Cloud could follow unnoticed.  Then he crept to the wall, and slipped out onto the stairs.  They were rickety looking, but they felt as solid as anything Cloud had ever stood on.  That was kind of suspicious, but he didn't care.  The point was that they didn't creak under his weight, so he moved quickly but quietly down them.

Cloud came to the end of the cave-tunnel and heard voices—Zack and Sephiroth, and they seemed to be a little upset—so he stopped.  There was still a door between him and them, and it sounded like they were still further down.  Looking around, he spotted a dark corner he could hide in, so long as no one looked his way to see his hair.  He crouched there a moment before realizing it was another doorway.  Hesitantly, he reached up and tried the knob.

Locked.

Drat.  That woulda been a really great place to hide.

Just then, he heard a skittering sound inside the room accompanied by a low groaning sound.  Was someone **in** there?  He went to knock again, but heard a low creak to his right where the other door down here was.  He crouched silently in the shadows, grateful for the dark blue of his uniform and helmet.  As a precaution, he slit his eyes to prevent their glow from leaking out past the face plate, even as he silently shifted a bit deeper into the shadows.

Zack staggered out of the room, looking a little the worse for wear.  He kind of seemed startled and confused, though what about was anyone's guess.  He went right past Cloud without seeing him, without even looking for him, and Cloud knew for sure this was serious.

After Zack left, Cloud gave him a few more minutes to be well away, then hesitantly stepped through the other door.  It turned out the area beyond was some sort of library or reference room.  Cloud also saw a couple of large specimen tanks off to one side, as well as fully stocked, if rather dusty, trays of surgical equipment.  How odd—and disturbing, given what was going on up the mountain.  Warily, Cloud followed the room around to the short hallway on one side—also lined with books—that led back to another book-filled room.

Sephiroth stood in the hall, reading a book.  Cloud scuffed one boot lightly, a habit he'd acquired when coming up behind dangerous SOLDIERs who might be unaware of his presence.  Sephiroth straightened with an exasperated sigh.

"Zack, I **told** you to let me be **alone**!  What part of that didn't you copy?"

Cloud scuffed his boot again.  "Not Zack, Seph.  But, if you really want me to go, I'll—"  He started to leave, only to be stopped by the powerful arms that suddenly wrapped around him.  Sephiroth buried his face in his hair, breathing in his scent and shaking.

"No!  Don't leave me, Cloud!  Please…"  He murmured into Cloud's hair.  Cloud turned in his lover's grip and pressed himself against Sephiroth's chest.

"I'm not going anywhere, Seph, not now.  Don't worry.  Don't worry…"  It took several minutes of crooning nonsense to him, but Sephiroth finally calmed down.  Cloud looked up at him.  "Are you okay, Seph?"  Sephiroth nodded, but refused to meet his eyes.  Cloud reached up to stroke one pale cheek.  "Do you want to talk about it?"  Sephiroth shook his head emphatically, so Cloud didn't push.  Instead, he pressed a small kiss to Sephiroth's mouth, and was heartily surprised when Sephiroth latched onto it like a drowning man.

He didn't struggle when Sephiroth led him further down the hall and set him on the desk in the far room.  Sephiroth's eyes were bright with love, but there were dark, **dark** shadows there, too.  Cloud knew his lover needed this, and relaxed.  He had had sex in worse places for less reason, before.  He leaned back and pulled Sephiroth to himself, sighing at his lover's touch.

*

Cloud jerked awake, knowing something was **wrong.  He scrambled out of bed, pulling on his uniform and snatching up his gun with the speed of one who's had to do it quickly, often, and recently.  Then he crept down the stairs to the main area of the mansion, checking each room as he went, eyes darting around to find the disturbance, his rifle in firing position before him.  He found nothing, but he ****knew something was very off, and he desperately wished he knew what that was.  As he reentered the main area, he got a taste of it.**

Sephiroth **flew** down the steps and out the mansion doors, an insane expression touching his features and his eyes burning with mad intensity. Not 'flew,' like 'ran really fast'; 'flew,' like birds fly, only without wings to explain such an ability.  Heart hammering in his chest, Cloud pursued his silver-haired lover.  Because he was so quick on Sephiroth's heels, he saw the fire spells the other man rained upon the sleeping town, watched him hack up villagers without remorse.

Saw Sephiroth head for his mother's house.

Cloud sprinted to his mother's home, managing to catch up just as Sephiroth coiled for his strike.  With a cry, he tried to stop Sephiroth's attack, to talk reason into him, but the other man ignored him.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Strife.  I'll make it quick for you, for **his sake."  Then the fell blade swung across her body, slicing her open from her left shoulder to her right hip—more, slicing her through.  She fell soundlessly, collapsing in a spray of blood, surrounded by the burning timbers of the house she'd lived in since before Cloud's birth.**

Cloud, however, screamed.  He launched himself at Sephiroth, cursing, swearing, and pleading, his body moving swiftly, though his mind was frozen with shock.  Otherwise, he'd never have been stupid enough to attack an obviously homicidal super-SOLDIER with only a Mako rifle and a Pre-emptive Materia.

Pre-emptive did its job though, and Cloud got his moment of advantage, before Sephiroth could do anything.  Of course, it didn't last long, and as good as Cloud was, Sephiroth was bigger, stronger, faster, more experienced, and frighteningly lucid.  He caught Cloud and crushed him against his body, effectively stopping his struggles.  Cloud, sobbing, looked up at him, and Sephiroth's eyes were those of a stranger, dark, empty and malicious.  There was only the faintest bit of light in them—aside from the manic gleam of his insanity, and cold burn of Mako—only a shred of **his** Sephiroth remaining.

Sephiroth kissed him hard, and Cloud shuddered.  He didn't know the man kissing him at all, but he couldn't fight his overwhelming power.  Then Sephiroth set him down, just outside the house of his childhood, and raised his sword.

"Ah, my favorite of the traitors…Cloud.  Your mother I killed quickly, but you will be another matter.  I want you to suffer, demon, for trying to lure me away from my destiny—from Mother!  Then, when you are broken to nothing, perhaps I will let you, little incubus, sit at my feet and serve as first among your whole vile race, fit only to e slaves to the Cetra.  In the meantime, know your helplessness, and despair!"

Sephiroth slammed Masamune's hilt into Cloud's temple with enough force to put Cloud out, despite his resilience.  Cloud fell bonelessly into the dark.

*

It was some time later when Cloud awoke to the pounding in his head.  He had a vague recollection of Zack leaning over him, trying to rouse him, then taking off toward the north side of town.  All around him, Cloud could hear the protests of creaking timbers, crackling with flames, but there were no life noises; no screams of the injured or the trapped, no cries of lost children, just the roar of the consuming flames.

Sephiroth did this.  **Sephiroth**.

Cloud felt ill as he sat up.  His head spun and his stomach lurched, but he resolutely shook his disorientation away and stood up.  He still had his gun, and his uniform—and the armor that went with it—was still intact.

How had they come to this?  Days ago, he had been so **happy**, and Sephiroth had seemed to be, too.  The mission had seemed a bit wanky from the start, but they'd been sure they could handle it.  He and Sephiroth were going to get **married**, for Holy's sake!  And Zack had even managed to scrape together the courage to ask Sephiroth if they could maybe detour past Gongaga on the way home after the mission.  Sephiroth had laughed and asked if he needed a speech-writer.  There had been no warning at all, so how had it come to this?

As Cloud stood up, he viciously tore the engagement ring from his finger, then stood in the midst of the roaring flames, at a loss as to what to do.  He couldn't toss it away from him, though his hand had initially moved to do so.  He fumbled with the chains around his neck, one of mythril bearing his anti-motion sickness Materia, the other of adamant, a gift from a presumably now-dead old soldier.  He opened the clasp on the adamant chain and slid his ring onto it, before refastening it around his neck.  He let it hang out of his uniform like a medal, a badge displaying his broken heart for all to see.

All that remained was to show his mad lover the cost of his rampage.  He could practically hear Sephiroth's soft voice in his ears, telling him to come get him, to come find him, to come up the mountain to him.  Cloud didn't know where Sephiroth was, but that seemed as good a place to start as any.  Come to think of it, Zack had gone that way, too.  Maybe his friend knew something about this he didn't?

The hike up the mountain was long and hard, even on the best days, in the best condition.  Now, head ringing, knees weak, heartsick, and frightened, with the bridge still broken and no Sephiroth or Zack to take on the monsters, it was nearly impossible.  However, Cloud was now in a state of constant limit ability, a battle trance, as they had been described in the old stories.  Shinra's position was that there was no such thing—berserker rage or fury, but not a trance.

Seemed there was an awful lot Shinra didn't know.

The trance didn't seem very trance-like, though, more like a cross between the time in Wutai when time slowed down for him, and when he went nuts on the rellious Wutaian army.  But he was stronger, faster, more magically adept, and seemed to be able to simply scare off most of the monsters, so he wasn't about to complain.

Cloud staggered into a run once he reached the reactor.  His aching body complained, but he had this awful sense of foreboding.  Was Zack okay?  What was wrong with Sephiroth?  How would they stop him?  The voice whispering in his ears that sounded so much like Sephiroth informed him of the only conceivable answer to the last question.

He would kill Sephiroth, or die trying.

At this point, Cloud's mind half shut down.  He desperately didn't want to kill Sephiroth—he loved him!   And whatever was wrong with him, they could fix it, couldn't they?

Couldn't they?

Cloud stepped over the body of Tifa's father, before entering the Mako pressurization chamber, the room with the pods and their terrible contents.  He saw Zack enter the now-open door to 'Jenova,' heard him demanding answers, cursing at his long-time friend, begging him to come back to his senses, to him, to Cloud.  Then he saw Zack come flying out of the room to land, bloody and broken, atop one of the pods with a sick crunch.

Cloud went to his friend's side.  Zack's silvery eyes were nearly black with pain, but he lifted his head to look Cloud in the eyes.

"Y-you have to stop him, S-Spike.  He's not himself, it's not Sephiroth in there, but he can still kill as easily.  T-take my sword, Cloud.  That way, we t-take him out together."

Cloud reverently picked up Zack's beloved Buster Sword, then inhaled deeply, to calm himself.  The weapon was well-balanced and fit nicely in his hands, even if the wear on the hilt was for hands larger than his, hands the size his would one day be.  He flipped the weapon to his back, and started up the stairs only to halt in a puddle of blood belonging to a familiar girl.

Cloud hefted Tifa easily in his arms, and carried her down the steps to where Zack could keep an eye on her from his place on the pod.  He had fulfilled his promise to her, now, even if she wasn't awake to know.  He had no time to bandage her up, though, and no Materia to make it go faster, so he left her there, near the base of the steps like some macabre worshipper in this place of despair—or like a sacrifice.

Cloud attacked Sephiroth without warning, giving his one Materia the opportunity to do its work.  Lady Luck smiled on him today, for his near-zero AP Pre-emptive again functioned as it was supposed to, and Cloud got the drop on Sephiroth, opening a great bloody gash in Sephiroth's front and side.  Shock splashed across those beloved features, and Cloud's heart **twisted in his chest.  However, Sephiroth was no longer going to stand around with—eew!—the head of some Mako monster clutched in one hand.  Face twisted with hatred, Sephiroth shoved Cloud aside, and limped out of the room, even as Cloud tried to find his feet again.**

Cloud spent a moment staring up at the monster in the tube this room contained.  Even headless, the monster was revolting, and seemed to be watching him, sizing him up.  He swore at it, feeling its malice ripple in the back of his head, not the soft voice of Sephiroth, but—he knew—that of the monster controlling him.  He attacked the glass of the tube, and swore again when it merely deflected his blow.  Inside, he knew that…thing…was laughing at him, at his futile effort to kill it, rather than have to take out his lover; at his silly, small-minded love; at his very existence.

Cloud grew angry.  "Listen, you…Jenova, or whatever you are.  I may not be able to get you just now, but I **swear, if you make me do this, you'll regret it immensely.  Do you understand, you scum-sucking, slime-covered, shit-eating amoeba?  Or are you even intelligent enough to formulate a response, rather than act solely in response to stimuli?"**

There was silence, but the oily presence in the back of his head told Cloud that the creature was still aware of him, on at least some level.  He spun away, Zack's sword clenched in his hands, as he trailed Sephiroth out of the recesses of the reactor.  Zack was still alive, and Tifa seemed no worse, but no matter what, there could be no stopping for Cloud now.  If he so much as hesitated, he would be unable to go through with it, and he knew Sephiroth would have wanted him to end it, before he did anything worse.

He found Sephiroth clinging tiredly to a railing in one of the main entrance hallways to the reactor.  He could only hope Pre-emptive would work one last time, for him.

Unfortunately, Lady Luck had obviously moved on to some soul more likely to survive long enough to make use of her gifts.

Sephiroth whirled as Cloud lunged for him, Masamune leaping in his hands, and sliding through Cloud's pathetic uniform, inadequate armor, and yielding flesh in one lunging stab.  Zack's sword skittered out of his grasp.  Cloud gasped as the force of the blow rocked him back in the air—for he was no longer on the ground—snapping his head around like a crash dummy.  The actual wound hardly hurt at all because of how sharp Sephiroth kept his sword.

Sephiroth, though his face was pale, growled through gritted teeth, "Don't…push…your luck."  Then he lifted Cloud still higher, and **that hurt.  Masamune had slid into his body just below the ribs in front, and at least a foot of it's bright length protruded from between two of the middle ribs in back.  The pressure of Cloud's own weight on the blade was cracking the abused ribs, and digging into his guts and his lungs.  There was blood on his tongue, and his vision was greying, but Cloud felt strangely calm—at peace.  He was going to die here, and he was going to take Sephiroth with him, one way or another.**

A surge of last, desperate strength coiled through Cloud's muscles, and he forced shaking hands up to grasp the blade where it bit so deeply.  Blood trickling from the wounds that opened on the razor edges of Sephiroth's sword, Cloud levered himself to the ground, calling up all the strength he had left in him.  He had the satisfaction of seeing disbelief on the face of Seph-not-Seph's face, knew he said something, but then Cloud's feet hit the ground, and he had that wonderful thing a guy his size knew to look for in a fight against someone so much stronger than he was.

Leverage.

The ability to get leverage could make or break a fight, no matter how big a person was, but as short as he was, Cloud had spent his whole life taking advantage of leverage and agility to pull out his wins.  Now, he was as merciless with the monster wearing his lover's face as he would be with any enemy, lifting him off the thin catwalk they stood on—God, he was fighting dumb; why not just let go the blade…?—and swinging him over the edge.  Then Cloud simply pulled the blade a little loose from his body, and oh, how that hurt, then allowed gravity to take over—over both Sephiroth and himself.

Masamune slid free of Cloud's torso, grinding against ribs and vertebrae before exiting with a sick, sucking sound.  Something must have happened when Masamune ground against his vertebrae, because his lower body went numb, and his legs collapsed beneath him.  He was lucky enough to have the catwalk to arrest his fall—Sephiroth was not so lucky.

Still clutching his sword in one hand, and Jenova's head in the other, Sephiroth plummeted into the Mako-filled chasm over which the catwalk bridged.  From his angle, Cloud could see his fall, track it.  His eyes met Sephiroth's mid-fall, and he saw the darkness leave them.

Sephiroth was **back**.

Cloud's mouth opened in a hoarse scream that brought up blood and flecks of his tattered lung.  He flung out one hand to his lover, but Sephiroth had fallen way too far for any rescue Cloud could conjure.  Denial and desperation filled his mind, but Cloud saw acceptance on Sephiroth's face—he knew he'd done something **horrible and accepted this as just punishment, especially since there was nothing else he could do about it now.**

Sephiroth vanished into the haze of vaporized Mako, and moments later, there came the muffled splash-thud of his body hitting the shallow pool of liquid Mako and then hitting the metal and stone floor of the reservoir.  Sephiroth made no sound as he fell, no cry, nothing more than the crunch of his body being broken; but Cloud screamed for him, loud and long, ululating eerily and echoing off the metal walls around him as his cry carried his strength out of him.

Collapsing under the crushing weight of his weakness and agony, Cloud choked on a sob.  Sephiroth may have accepted it, but he sure as hell didn't!  He cast about for some way to bring Sephiroth back up from the pit, but darkness in the form of unconsciousness descended too rapidly.

Cloud, broken in heart and body, passed out on the cold floor of the Mt. Nibel Mako reactor, expecting to die, and welcoming the opportunity to go see his lover and explain.  He could already hear his voice in the back of his head, telling him not to worry, that things would be all right…

*

Zack blinked at the sound of heavy feet clunking on the catwalks and metal floors of the reactor.  He had seen Zangan come in some time ago, looking pale.  He had left with Tifa, already casting healing spells and pouring potions down her throat, promising to bring back help.  He had given Zack a potion, too, but had said nothing of Cloud.  Zack thought that was the reason he was so pale; the room outside probably had at least one corpse in it…probably Cloud's, since Zangan had made no mention of Sephiroth.

Zack wondered distantly if the loud feet could possibly be the help Zangan had said he was bringing, but he rather doubted it.  That didn't sound like the tread of a bunch of healers and any able-bodied villagers there were left—more like soldiers.  He rolled his eyes toward the door to see when they came in, unable to do any more than that, but psychologically incapable of failing to face a potential threat.

They swept in like they owned the place, blatantly over-confident and utterly unwary.  They looked pretty good, but over-confidence had been the undoing of far better soldiers than they.  He itched to put them in their places, but he couldn't so much as lift a finger against them.  Well, actually, he could lift a whole hand, just a couple inches from where it rested limply against his chest, but that was all he had left in his battered body.  The soldiers actually laughed at his angry glare, and stepped aside to reveal their 'leader.'

Zack's blood ran cold at the sight of scrawny, bony, half-mad-or-more Hojo standing in the center of that block of soldiers.  The bespectacled Shinra scientist smirked up at him.

"Why, hello there, Colonel.  So nice to see you again.  I don't suppose you could tell me where my Sephiroth is?"

Zack smiled in bitter satisfaction.  "…dead," he rasped, and watched the manic insanity flee from Hojo's face.

"What?  That's impossible.  He's far to powerful to be dead."

Zack laughed painfully.  "You're wrong.  He's dead, I know it.  Cloud killed him, out there.  I heard the fight, heard a body hit the Mako, and another hit the metal of the catwalk—heard Cloud scream.  Unless Sephiroth's the one lying on the floor out there, he's the one burned alive by all that Mako."

Hojo's face contorted.  "You lie, you **lie**!  How **dare** you lie to **me**!  Sephiroth is **not dead; he is perfect, so he can't die!"**

"News flash, dipshit: Sephiroth was **never perfect, and he wouldn't have wanted to **be** perfect.  Perfection is static, and if there is anything Sephiroth truly reveled in, it was the ability to change."**

Hojo smacked him, harder than Zack would have thought the little twig-man could.  But then, Zack was also effectively immobilized, so he might just have thought Hojo hit him harder than he really had.  Hojo, meanwhile, motioned to the soldiers.

"Pick him up.  I don't care how rough you are with him, just bring him alive.  If in fact Sephiroth **is dead, I think these clowns owe me a super-SOLDIER.  Between the two of them, we might just get one."**

The soldiers weren't gentle.  They grabbed him and jerked him off the pod on which he lay, letting him smack his head a couple times on the way down.  Then a couple grabbed him by the arms and dragged him from the room.  They came across a small gaggle of soldiers brusquely strapping Cloud to a stretcher.  Zack could see the horrible wound on his friend's chest, and cried out in dismay.  In response, one of the soldiers cracked him across the face with the butt of his Mako rifle.  Dazed, Zack could only lie there, half-conscious as they strapped him to another stretcher to get him up the ladders to wherever Hojo's lab was.  And Zack had no doubt they were going to the lab.  Hojo would make them suffer for what they'd done, and Zack prayed he and Cloud were up to surviving whatever torment Hojo had in store for them with their minds intact.

*

                Well, there you have it!  I hope you enjoyed my little fic!  Only a couple more parts to go, then that's it for _Chi to Ase to Namida_!  As CAN wraps up, I'll begin posting the next fics I have scheduled for this universe.  They'll mostly be post-game.  Please watch for them!

                Well, this was a depressing part.  The next I have planned will be at least as bad, with mostly just spots of Zack-humor to lighten things up enough to be readable.  We'll get to watch Cloud—and to lesser degree, Zack—go insane in captivity.  We'll get to see some of Hojo's experiments and some of his outright torture.  This is the reason for the R rating.  There will be some explanation of Cloud's little identity crisis, and some of the experiments will be viewed through the lens of Cloud's expertise in the area.  *shudder*  I hope I haven't turned you away from my baby, yet.  It won't really be **that bad.**

                Once again, huge apologies for my long absence!  As a weak little peace offering/apology, I have written a short Vagrant Story piece that can be found right here on ff.net, for anyone who's interested.  I know it's an uncommon fandom, but I hope all who read it like it!  (Nate, this is **so** your fault.  Enjoy the fruits of your pestering!)

                As always, comments, concerns, and questions are appreciated.  Reviews are welcome, as are emails, just please try not to flame me.  Flames are merely an expression of immaturity on behalf of the flamer.  Thank you!

  --Akuma no Tsubasa


	15. To Break

Hi, hi, everybody!

Lookie!  Two updates in as many weekends!  Bet you never thought you'd see the day.  Just don't get used to it, eh?

All right, more emotional torture ahead!  Experimentation, torture, solitary confinement, and hallucination abound.  A couple coarse words, but I'm sure you guys can handle it.

Enjoy!

*

"—oud.  Cloud!  C'mon, man, let me know you're okay."

Cloud felt fuzzy awareness sift into his dark consciousness.  He could hear the voice, tell roughly what direction it was coming from, but it took several long moments more before he was awake enough to actually recognize it.  He tried to turn his head and open his eyes, but his body was numb and his eyelids extremely heavy.  He had to wait a bit longer before he could muster his voice.

"z-ack?  what's goin' on?  why can't I move?"

He heard Zack hiccup softly as an after effect of tears.  "Oh, thank Holy!  You're alive!  I thought for sure you'd died; when they dragged us out of the reactor, you were so still, then when they threw us in here, you just didn't move!  I was expecting you to wake up a loooong time ago, 'cause they brought a Restore Materia through and healed up anything life-threatening on the both of us, but you didn't do anything, until just now, that is, and—"

Cloud cut him off, his voice stronger, now.  "Zack.  C'mon, man, you're babbling.  And you haven't told me why I can't seem to get up, here."

Zack was silent for several long moments.  "They, um, said something about a spinal cord injury?  I guess you can't feel what I'm doing?"

Cloud managed to make his eyes crack open.  "Doing?  You're doing something?"

Zack sighed.  "Shit.  Planet-damned bloody **fuck.  Yeah, I'm kinda trying to bandage you up the best I can, since it looks like they're not interested in doing anything more than keeping us alive, for now.  I've been resetting bones and slapping dressings over great, gaping wounds for a while, now."**

Cloud groaned, fear and dismay knotting his belly.  "Shit.  Planet-damned bloody…"

Zack chuckled without humor.  "I knew you'd see things my way."

They were silent for several minutes, with only the sound of cloth tearing as Zack cannibalized their clothes to make bandages.  Cloud honestly couldn't feel whatever Zack was doing, and a part of him thought that was for the best; the other part was screaming that, as he was, he'd never be able to escape.  Certainly, Zack wouldn't leave him either.

"Shit.  Planet-damned bloody…"

*

As it turned out, Cloud didn't have to worry about his paralysis long.  Once they arrived at the lab proper and Hojo discovered that Cloud couldn't feel much of anything from just above his navel down—to say nothing of actually moving—steps were taken to fix that.  After all, Hojo wanted a feeling, writhing, screaming test subject, not a man who wouldn't feel anything done to him.

It really didn't take much.  An injection of what Cloud recognized as Factor J directly into his spine plus a few minutes of Mako irradiation, and Cloud could already feel a vague pin-and-needles sensation crawling through the upper parts of his 'dead zone.'  A few minutes after that, he was gritting his teeth against the pain coursing along his nerves.  Thankfully, he blacked out before he could start screaming.

When he awoke, he could feel mostly normally.  It was a little over-sharp, as though the sensitivity of his nerve endings had been ratcheted up too high, but that wasn't really disruptive to him.  What **was, however, was the fact that he was suddenly hearing voices.  Nothing definite or concrete, just vague murmurings in the back of his mind.  It was sort of like how he'd 'heard' Sephiroth in Nibelheim…or Jenova.  Not all of them sounded evil or insane, though; on the contrary, most of them sounded very normal and reasonable.  They were probably the most dangerous, though, just to spite him, so Cloud worked at ignoring them for long hours taking breaks only to reassure Zack that he was okay.**

Then he heard the doors open, and looked up from within his little see-though cell.  Hojo came in, his little soldiers slinking in after him.  In the cell next to him, Zack growled quietly, and Cloud added his voice to Zack's.

Hojo clucked at them, seemingly amused.  "Tsk, tsk.  Now, is that any way to react to the man in whose hands your continued existence rests?  Silly things."  He turned to Cloud.  "And how are you feeling, Specimen C?  You're moving on your own, so I'll assume that in that respect the procedure was a success.  Any after effects?  Blindspots, pins and needles, numbness, nausea?"

Was Hojo asking about the voices?  Cloud glared, but remained silent.  Hojo chuckled.  "My, my.  So uncooperative.  We'll cure you of that soon enough.  Rather disappointing, though.  Oh, well; better luck next time, I suppose."  He suddenly looked carefully at Cloud.

"Hmm, as I recall, you have some experience in the Mako Sciences.  Perhaps you will be able to appreciate what I'm trying to do.  Do you know what was in that needle I gave you?"  Cloud stayed quiet again, but couldn't quite help rolling his eyes.  Hojo chuckled again.  "Ah, you do, I see.  Rather an intelligent specimen, aren't you?  Factor J.  Wonderful stuff.  What it really is, though, is Jenova cells.  That's right, the same Jenova as Sephiroth's 'mother,' the beautiful creature you defiled so up in that backwater reactor.  You know, we use those same cells to make SOLDIERs?  Admittedly, we kill the cells first—a shame really, but the average SOLDIER can't take **live Jenova cells and remain sane.  Besides, the dead ones are more than enough to raise SOLDIERs above the level of mere humans.  Not like Sephiroth."  Hojo looked almost dreamy at the mention of Sephiroth, and Cloud had to suppress a shudder.**

"Ah, yes, my Sephiroth.  My most successful project.  He is full of living Jenova cells.  Brimming with their power.  So far beyond the power of frail humanity."  Hojo returned his focus to Cloud.  "Like you, now.  More or less.  Of course, the cells in you are brand new, just settling into your body, and there are nowhere near as many in you as there are in my Sephiroth.  That, too, we'll fix.  Ah, but they seem to be having a hard time settling in you, since you already had Mako in your system, sustaining your body cells, but soon enough they'll take that energy for themselves and overcome your weak little immune system.  Then it'll be easy enough to wipe you clean and remold you in Sephiroth's image."

Hojo frowned suddenly, as though confused.  "Ah, but why was I here?  Surely not to tell you what was happening to you?  Not my normal policy, but I imagine the process will be all the more horrifying for someone with your knowledge if you know what I'm doing to you.  Hmmm."  Suddenly, the **obviously both scatterbrained and insane doctor smiled.  "Ah, yes, I remember.  I was going to test exactly how well your nerves are conducting.  Oh, and I was going to test Specimen Z's…well, everything.  This ought to be an enlightening day.  I may even determine why Sephiroth deigns to waste his time on Specimen Z."  He looked at Cloud.  "Did you know they had sex?  I suppose even my Sephiroth is not above animal impulses.  How revolting, though."**

Hojo waved at the guards, and one of them turned on a valve that began pumping vaguely pinkish gas into Zack's chamber.  Alarmed, Cloud shot to his feet.  "Zack!"

Zack coughed, struggling against what was obviously a powerful sedative.  He fixed Cloud with a look, telling him without words not to do anything stupid.  Of course, the effect was dulled somewhat by the fact that Zack passed out right in the middle of everything.  Helpless, Cloud could only watch as they dragged Zack's limp form out of the cell.  They didn't take him far, only to a table in the middle of the room.  He was stripped quickly and strapped to the table.

God, were they going to make him watch?

Apparently, so.  They shocked Zack to awareness with a little electrical prod, and the dark-haired SOLDIER came out of his daze with a roar, already trying to fight.  Hojo just smiled indulgently and took out a set of electrodes.  "Please be still, Specimen Z.  I am going to use you as a baseline for Specimen C, so I need to check your nerves.  It is to both of your advantage if you scream quickly."

Cloud sank down in his cell as the tests began.  He could already hear Zack's breathing growing labored.  His hand snaked up to the chain on which his engagement ring was suspended without really thinking about it.  As the screams finally began, Cloud prayed that, wherever Sephiroth wound up, he never found out about this.  He would hold himself responsible, and the thought that Sephiroth might suffer because of this, too, was simply too much for Cloud to deal with.  He knew he was already deluding himself, distancing himself from reality, but he knew he'd need all the distance he could muster just to get through this as sane as Hojo was.

Cloud prayed harder.

*

_(Some time later.)_

Cloud leaned a feverish cheek against the chill wall of his transparent cell.  Zack watched him anxiously.  Ever since that first round of tests, Cloud had grown increasingly out of it.  By now, he barely reacted to anything, even when Hojo went to great lengths to draw screams from him.  They'd also been denied any sort of clothes once they'd been stripped the first time.  Their heads had been shaved, their every bodily function was recorded and measured by a set of sub-dermal implants that had been placed in them in the most excruciating way Hojo's twisted mind could think up.  They were dehumanized ruthlessly, called only 'Specimens C and Z,' and subjected to painful tests at every opportunity.

Zack felt horribly guilty.  He underwent few of the tests, experiments, and procedures Cloud had to suffer through.  Oh, Hojo had him dragged out of his cell just as often and spent the whole time using him to devise new ways to torture any poor soul who happened to be at his mercy, but he wasn't actually **doing** anything to him.

Cloud, on the other hand, was being **changed.  All it took was a cursory inspection to see how much the blond had changed since they'd gotten here, what had to have been several months ago, or more.  Cloud certainly looked strange with shaven hair and an inch's growth of shocking gold beard, but it went beyond that.  His eyes were very bright now, but empty of feeling much of the time, though still filled with frightening intelligence.  He had gained at least another inch or two, and his already toned body had only grown more defined, and, as the guards had found out, he was now capable of bending solid steel.  They had to keep him half-sedated at all times just to keep him from being able to walk right out of this hellhole.  As a result, he spent much of his time either sleeping, or half-conscious.**

When Cloud was awake, Zack whittled away the dreary hours waiting for the next round of tests to begin by telling stories.  He knew Cloud heard and catalogued every detail, because he occasionally scraped up the energy and vocal control to ask questions.  It relieved Zack immensely to know his friend was still in there, even if his body tried to convince him it was devoid of an awareness.

Zack was, however, growing steadily more worried for Cloud.  There was no way to tell the time, here; only the dim lighting of most times, and the painful brilliance of the halogens Hojo used when he was doing a procedure.  Meals came at noticeably irregular intervals, but no matter how unappetizing the fare or how recently they'd last been fed, they learned to eat when the opportunity was presented.  Despite these great lengths Hojo went to in order to deny them any sense of time, Zack knew it had been a substantial while, maybe even months since they had entered Hojo's 'care.'  Yet, Cloud had not spoken of Sephiroth the whole time.

Zack knew a little bit about grieving.  He'd lost many friends in the Wutai War, even a couple in the more recent Uprising.  He knew denial was a natural stage for when someone suffered a great loss, but eventually he'd want to talk about it or do something about it, **anything to work through things in his head.  Everyone he'd ever met had been the same, including Sephiroth.**

Cloud **never** talked about Sephiroth.  He never even said his name, except in his sleep, and even that was rare.  He never told Zack to stop telling him stories about Seph, or trying to drag him into mutual reminiscence—as though he could not bring himself to simply deny Sephiroth's existence—but he also never participated.  He always seemed so far away, though whether that was mostly the drugs, or whether something was really **wrong** with Cloud, Zack couldn't be sure.  But he was sure that a man didn't just 'get over' killing the love of his life.

Recently, Cloud had started crooning to himself, a strange ululating sound that made Zack's hair stand on end.  There were no words, merely a sound that was painfully inhuman, sometimes happy, sometimes in pain, but always, always laced with a sort of deep melancholy, as of something very old resigned to a sad fate.  That worried Zack far more than anything else.  Pain, sorrow, rage he could deal with, but if Cloud had in any way given up…

"Sephiroth…"

Zack's head jerked up to stare at Cloud, wishing fleetingly, as he did every time, that he could go and hold his sick friend, comfort him some way.  Now he couldn't even brush Cloud's grimy cheek and tell him it was going to be okay, mainly because it was probably never going to be okay for Cloud again.

Zack contented himself with calling softly through their cells, "Hey, there, Spike?  You wanna tell me what's goin' on over there?"

Cloud looked up at him, seeming a little lost.  "Zack?"  He shook his head, bringing one hand up to rub absently over the short fuzz of his re-growing hair.  "I…sorry.  It's nothing, Zack.  Really."

Zack frowned.  "Cloud, do you realize that the whole time we've been here, you haven't said Sephiroth's name aloud while conscious even **once?  It's more than nothing if you're breaking that kind of silence."**

Cloud scrubbed a hand over his head again.  It seemed to be turning into his new nervous gesture.  He seemed troubled, though, so Zack didn't allow it to distract him.  "I just.  Zack, I **know he's dead.  I killed him myself, threw him into the Mako reservoir with my own hands, to be burned away to nothing.  And yet," Cloud's eyes were focused on something far away, and Zack couldn't suppress the chill that trailed cold fingers down his spine at the utter look of emptiness in Cloud's face.**

"Zack, I can **hear **him.  Up here."  Cloud tapped a finger to his temple.  "I hear him, and he tells me it's okay, that he's fine where he is, and I don't have to worry.  There are others, too.  Like Jenova, but I ignore her.  But Sephiroth…Holy, he's dead!  How can he do this to me when he's dead?!  No more, deceased, dissolved back into the Lifestream, lacking a corporeal form!  Planet.  **Planet**."

Zack sighed.  "Cloud.  He **is dead.  Maybe you're going nuts here.  Maybe he's a ghost and he just wants you to know he's okay, so he can move on.  I don't know, I'm not an expert in supernatural phenomena.  But you **know** Hojo will be interested, so you have to **promise** me you won't say anything to him about this, okay?"**

Cloud nodded weakly, then quirked a little grin.  "As if I'd tell old stick-bug anything, anyway."

Zack chuckled.  "Yeah.  Where's some bug-spray when you really need it?  I'd much prefer to face him with a can of Bug-be-gone in each hand, you know?"

Cloud smiled, then leaned back against his cool cell wall to soothe his fevered body.  The fever was low-grade, but had persisted from the first injection of Factor J, and Cloud was getting royally sick of feeling ill.

"Hey, Zack?"  He whispered, relaxing into the heaviness the drugs he was on leant him.  When the dark-haired man looked up, he continued.  "Sing me something?"

Zack blinked, then blushed.  "Cloud, you **know I can't sing."**

Cloud smiled lazily.  "Please.  I heard you just the other day, singing to yourself to keep entertained.  And even if I hadn't discovered you have a nice singing voice, I just want your voice.  But I'm tired of the stories, for now.  I don't want to think of happy times.  Life sucks right now, and I just want to deal with here and now for a while.  Remembering before sometimes just make it so hard to live with how things are."

Zack gazed at his friend for a long moment, wracking his brain for a way to dodge his request, but he found that, as usual, he couldn't deny Cloud anything.  He pondered for a moment, trying to think up a suitable song.  Not too happy, not too reflective, but not despairing, either.

/_Shit.  All I know are either love songs or nice, angry, painful songs.  C'mon, Zack, you have to know **something** that'll fit the bill!_/

"Zack, you can sing me something depressing, you know.  I won't die.  I can hardly commit suicide here."

Zack sighed, then shrugged.  /_What the hell._/  Zack started a soft rendition of _Soldier's Lament_, a song about a soldier near the end of his life, destined to live again.  Cloud seemed to fall asleep part way through, but Zack didn't stop.  His mind was on the singing, distracting him neatly from reality.

He sang until he felt like sleeping.  Then he slept, the chorus still echoing in his mind, and perhaps through the too-sterile emptiness of the lab.

He dreamed he was standing with Sephiroth beside a river.  Seph had already started across, and turned back to face him.  _"Come on, Zack.  Can't wait forever.  Sunset's in a few, and you have to see this place then.  We'll stay there until dawn.  You mustn't look on the river when the moon is up; it's for the dead only."_

Zack dreamed a peaceful dream of standing atop a sheer cliff with Sephiroth, watching the Mako-green and -blue glow flickering around a snow-covered crater, it's sloped dyed red with the colors of dusk, until the sun dropped from the sky.

At 'sun-up,' Sephiroth left him with a smile.

_"Take care of him, Zack.  Tell him it'll be okay, even if you aren't sure yourself.  It will be, in the end.  I know it."_

Zack awoke to Cloud screaming through more tests, but the dream lingered in his mind.  If he ever got out of this place, he thought he'd try to paint that place at the end of the world, where time had no meaning beyond the colors the world painted herself with.  Maybe it would fit to music…?

When the guards came for him, Zack just smiled at Cloud as he was replaced in his cell, and let the sleeping gas take him back to his sleeping refuge.

*

_(Still more time later.)_

Cloud felt better, and that was a bad thing.  He knew his body hadn't won over the Jenova cells from the pleased expression stamped on Hojo's twisted features, as well as from the sudden loudness and clarity of the voices in his mind.  He tried to ignore them, and for the most part was successful.  However, whenever Jenova really wanted to say something to him, she could shout above all the others and right past the walls of mental static he'd erected to protect himself.  He made no sign to her that he heard and knew she was becoming frustrated, but he knew it couldn't last.  Eventually, she'd find out, and no amount of ignoring in the world would keep her out.

Fortunately for Cloud's sanity, the endless Mako and Jenova treatments he'd been subjected to had produced a side-benefit.  Jenova had many of the talents of the Ancients of old, and Sephiroth had, in effect, been an artificial Ancient.  In trying to make Cloud into another Sephiroth, Hojo had given some of those powers to Cloud.  Especially the whole 'talking to the Planet' routine.

Cloud doubted he was actually talking to the Planet; the scientist in him steadfastly refused to believe such a preposterous thing without a great deal of extremely convincing evidence.  And as far as he knew, he was either only on passive listening mode, or was too minuscule for the Planet to notice if he **was saying anything.  But the soft sounds of the Planet murmuring beyond the ability of anyone else to sense were comforting.  They were so much ****more than he was, it made him feel much safer.**

Now, seeking to escape the realities of his long imprisonment, Cloud fell back on his new senses.  He let the sad notes he'd been humming for some time now fill his mind and carry him away from his fragile body.  As usual, there were two presences he was drawn to.

Cloud let his mind linger over Zack's awareness.  Zack was a bit wasted with lack of exercise, but his desire to escape was as strong as ever.  In fact, only recently, they had made an escape attempt, leaving a few dead guards and plenty of broken machinery behind them.  They had been so close to being out, Cloud could taste sweet freedom on the wind, but they'd been jumped by guards and robots at the last minute that they were no match for as weak as they were.  They'd still fought well, and taken many of the guards with them to hell—though the guards were lucky enough to go to the real thing—and so much of Hojo's equipment had been broken that he'd had to relocate them to a totally different lab.

It was strange to see the inside of the library under the Mansion in Nibelheim every time he looked out of his cell, but he figured that was the effect Hojo was going for.  Unfortunately, Hojo had decided that they weren't going to get the chance to plan such an escape again.  The cells were soundproof, and both of them were constantly surrounded by a dense mist of burning Mako tranquilizers.  Still sign-language and messages scraped on any surface possible allowed them to plan, despite him.  It just made sanity just that much harder to hang on to.  Cloud had taken to looking at the titles of the books around him and speculating on what was in them.  If it was something technical, he usually made up a story about it anyway, just to keep himself busy and something closer to sane than he might have been.

Cloud was aware of himself growing steadily more withdrawn in reaction to the lack of contact.  He hadn't been touched by another person for any reason other than to inflict pain since the escape attempt; before that, it had been since a stolen touch during what had to have been the first week of imprisonment.  By the time he got out of here, he'd be a real ass; his social skills had been a bit awkward from the beginning—probably came of being despised by most of your hometown's population; he was amazed by how much he had relaxed around Zack and Sephiroth—now he'd just be a sociopath.

Cloud gave Zack's mind a light, fond caress, then moved on to the second person in this 'place.'

Cloud sank into Sephiroth's awareness gratefully.  Cloud imagined he had to have one foot in the grave, or at least around the bend, in order to think he could sense a dead man, but he could, and it made him **so happy.  Jenova's 'voice' was always knife-sharp in his mind, and Zack didn't have a voice like with words, only the tones, like speaking a foreign language where all you knew was the feeling behind the words.  Sephiroth was like neither of them, though.  Actual words came to Cloud from him, but not screaming in and tearing at him.  He seemed so ****normal, at least as normal as any dead SOLDIER General who happened to be his lover could seem.**

Sometimes, Cloud could swear he could reach out a hand and muss that gorgeous silver hair, trace soft lips and high cheek-bones, stroke well-loved leather.  Then the scar in his abdomen where Masamune had torn into him would twinge, and Cloud would know it for the daydream it was.  Cloud found it odd Masamune had scarred in the first place; the wounds it left were so neat, they should only leave a hairline scar, not the horrible, though fading, gash Cloud bore.  He thought maybe Jenova or Hojo had seen to it that Cloud would have a permanent reminder, and no escape into fantasy.

Bastards.

_"Seph," _he whispered.  It was strange that he always whispered to Sephiroth and clung to his awareness.  It was as though all the strength had been leeched from him.  That was fine, though.  No strength could get them out of here now; why worry about it?  It wasn't worth the effort.  If he was given the opportunity to escape, he'd take it, but it was rather hard to muster the will-power to **make an opportunity, except immediately after Hojo was done with him and he was angry.  And that was when his body wouldn't work, so all the anger in the world wouldn't help him any.**

_"Cloud,"_ Sephiroth's ghostly whisper came back to him.  _"You know better than to simply give up.  You live, so there is hope.  Don't let go."_

Cloud laughed bitterly to himself.  _"I live?  I don't feel like it.  I feel like that monster that turned to goo in front of us—I exist, but to leave would mean death."_

_"But the monster still attempted to escape._"

_"Maybe I should, too?  Just let this all end.  No Hojo poking and prodding all the time, no Jenova whispering evil promises, no Zack and his hurting eyes.  It would almost be nice."_

Sephiroth's voice came clearly to him.  _"No, Cloud!  Don't give up!  I'm here for you, so it's okay."_

Cloud cackled, knowing he sounded insane, but the soundproofing on the cell should take care of that.  _"You're **here for me?  You're **dead**, Seph, and I'm all alone here.  Zack is like a picture—I see it, but I can't feel it, talk to it.  What am I going to do?  Tell the guards 'Hey, guys, I think I'm finally going crazy like you want me to.  Now could you talk to me for a little to make it stop?  I'm hearing voices, and I don't think that's normal.'  Yeah, right.  I can see Hojo's twisted little bug-face all delighted right now…"**_

To Cloud's horror, he really could.

Hojo stood outside the cell, gleefully taking notes, and motioning the guards to come and subdue him.  Potent but short-duration paralysis gas filtered into the tank, causing Cloud to lose control of his every muscle.  He couldn't so much as lift his head and glare at the guards as they manhandled him out of the cell to dump him on the table, again.  The heavy adamant restraints were fastened in place, then Hojo was suddenly standing over him, clucking and chattering excitedly.

"—C to have made contact with Jenova!  Finally, after months of work, the cells have reached out and made contact with their host, and he's answering.  I believe Jenova has taken on the persona of my Sephiroth to earn Specimen C's trust.  That's perfect, because if he can assimilate enough of the Sephiroth persona through Jenova, I won't have to keep Specimen Z around to do it.  I knew introducing bits of Sephiroth's DNA with the Jenova cells was a good idea!  Even Specimen C knows Factor J's power as a vector.

"Now that C has contacted Jenova, I believe it is time to wipe the old personality away.  Once the slate is cleaned, it will be easy enough to put in place a more proper identity.  Depending on how this goes, I may make some cosmetic alterations to make C appear like my Sephiroth and reintroduce him to the Shinra as Sephiroth.  If all goes well, I may even be able to dispose of the other attempts.  I'll keep them for now, though, in case C disappoints me yet again, or simply takes too long."

Cloud felt remarkably calm, now.  Sephiroth wasn't Sephiroth, he was just an identity Jenova wore to fool him.  And he'd fallen for it.  For a moment, he was angry, then his rage fizzled out into despair.  It was all over.  If even Sephiroth was a lie, what did that leave him?  The cries of the ailing Planet and Zack fighting despair, and that couldn't possibly be enough to keep him grounded through whatever Hojo was planning.

Desperation overtook him for a moment, and he struggled against his bonds, his muscle control returning slowly.  He was unable to get the traction or leverage he wanted, but able to get enough to jerk one arm free of its restraints, tearing a large chunk of the flesh from his hand and dislocating several bones.  Despite the pain and oblivious to Hojo's half-terrified, half-enraged shrieking, he reached out with that hand to snag one of the guards…

…The one he had noticed wore a watch, though it seemed to be against regulations to do so.  He tore the band off the terrified man, gashing his wrist open in the process.  Cloud ignored the spatter of blood the panicked thug rained on him, having eyes only for the corner of the display that had the date.  His eyes went wide.

/_By the Planet, it's already been two years?_/  Cloud felt perversely proud.  It had taken two years for Hojo to break his sanity.  How frustrating that had to have been for a mediocre scientist in the Mako age, when genetic experiments usually took only a fraction of the time they used to.  Hojo obviously didn't have the patience to wait for his payoff; he wanted results **now.**

The guards whom Cloud hadn't bothered to incapacitate grabbed him roughly, beating his unresisting body back to the table.  They forced his shredded arm back into the restraints, but Cloud hardly noticed.  He clutched the watch in his fist and laughed, long and loud, until tears trailed down his cheeks and his body convulsed with desperation for air.

As quickly as he'd begun laughing, he stopped.  He stared fixedly at Hojo, using his newly bright Mako eyes to unnerve the scientist.  The faint glow he'd had before had gone halogen-bright over the past—_Holy—two years.  Now he used them as his only weapon against Hojo, staring levelly at him, oblivious to the fists that continued to fall on him and the cursing of Hojo's pet thugs.  They both knew Cloud couldn't really do much of anything to Hojo as long as he was a prisoner, but Cloud also knew that Hojo had brains enough to fear what he was creating here, and Cloud took advantage of that glimmer of intelligence.  If he unnerved Hojo enough, maybe he would spend a majority of the time to come unconscious._

In some ways, he and Zack were so very much alike.  Both desired escape.  The difference was that Zack wanted to get out of **here**, a currently unattainable dream.  On the other hand, Cloud took the escape he could have at any time, into sleep, into dreams, into fantasy, where no one could hurt him.  In that way, they were fundamentally different.  Cloud no longer cared about that seed of cowardice that persisted in his core.  All he wanted was to stop caring.  He was broken now and he knew it; Zack was broken, too, but spent his time futilely try to put the pieces back together again.

Who was more pathetic: the man who was honest with himself and lost hope, or the man who lied to himself to keep it?  Cloud had no answer to that.  He could only be who and what he was.  Right now, he had nothing else left; even the dreams of Sephiroth had been dirtied by Jenova's vile touch.

He was relieved when a mask was pressed over his face, pumping him full of sedatives.  He maintained his level glare at Hojo, though, right into unconsciousness.  That 'night' he slept with his eyes open and refused to acknowledge the dreams when they came.  He thought he heard Sephiroth somewhere crying his name…

*

All right, there it is.

Poor Cloud went nuts at last.  Think about it, would you be sane after two years in Hojo's lab?  And Zack is stuck a spectator.  What worse torment for a man of action than to be unable to act?

Big question: is Seph an hallucination or not?  And if he's not, who cares if he can't do anything?  Look for those answers in the next fic in the series, coming (hopefully) soon to a computer near you!  But wait!  CAN isn't over yet!  Next part: how Cloud got truly confused as to his identity, why he's a 'failure,' and possibly the Great Escape!

_Soldier's Lament_ is a real song by Steve MacDonald; track five on the album "Sons of Somerled."  Poignant, truly.  I figured Zack needed a hobby, and since Seph bakes, Cloud thinks, and Reno gardens…  *shrugs*  I had to think of something.  So Zack sings.  I actually think it's a nice idea.  Zack sitting with Aeris, singing to her…*sigh*  How cute!


	16. In the End

Hi!

Here it is!  The last part of _CAN!  I'm so glad I got this done in time!  I resolved to get it done by my birthday, and here it is!  *dances*_

WARNING: some screwed-up head stuff and a baaaad wooord.  Ooh.  Cloud spends most of this part uncertain of his identity, so much of this is more or less third person limited with Zack as the focus character.  Right up to the last scene, actually.

Anyway, read, read, **read!  Enjoy it, and please review!  You know you want to….  *grin***

*

Zack panted roughly for breath, struggling weakly against the restraints he curled so helplessly in.  C was deposited on his chest and bound there, but the blond didn't fight, rather sprawled bonelessly against him.

Zack hated these 'sessions.'  Hojo had finally revealed his reason for keeping Zack around, and he definitely didn't like it.  Hojo had apparently hoped Cloud would go all super-SOLDIERy on his own with just a little prodding from himself, the lab goons, and the additional information Jenova could give him.  However, once there seemed to be no sign of that happening, Hojo had decided to use Zack for that purpose.

Zack remembered the day, it seemed so long ago, that Cloud had broken.  He couldn't hear through his cell, but he had seen Cloud peel the flesh from his hand and laugh hysterically for long moments, before turning perfectly calm with a suddenness only the truly insane could manage.  He remembered how, when he'd slept that night, Sephiroth had appeared in his dreams, panicking over Cloud suddenly shutting him out, cursing Hojo and Jenova and anything else he could think of for planting the seeds of doubt in Cloud's mind.

Zack was beginning to think that maybe some part of Sephiroth really was still out there—not just entertaining the thought out of loneliness and depression, but to truly believe it.  Maybe, as Hojo had thought, it was just a mask Jenova wore when she appeared to them, but how was she able to appear so easily to him, when her cells in him were dead, and none of Sephiroth's DNA had been put in him?  Unless maybe there was a little of one or both of them in him from all the times the two—or three, counting Cloud—of them had had sex…?  He'd heard of SOLDIERs accidentally giving their lovers minor cases of Mako poisoning by having too much sex, but genetic transfer?

Funny thought, that.  DNA as an STD.  /_Beautiful, Zack.  You really need more stimulation if something like that is enough to amuse you./_

After that day, though, Hojo had been doing even weirder things to poor Cloud.  He kept Cloud unconscious for most of the experiments that involved his body only, and heavily sedated whenever he could get by with it.  And when Cloud was awake, he fixed Hojo with a level look, utterly emotionless, except for a bit of disdain, like he was looking through a microscope at some vaguely nasty specimen, but not bothered enough by it to bother getting upset.

After a while, though, Cloud's lack of response—to anything, including Zack—began to seem more ominous.  It wasn't until the first of these 'sessions' that Zack understood at last what was happening.  Before, Zack had been glad they had taken Cloud elsewhere when they were going to really screw with his head; maybe it was selfish, but he had nightmares enough that he didn't want to add whatever horrors lurked in Cloud's mind to them.  Now, he wished he had been there so he would know everything he could possibly know about Cloud.

Cloud, who would probably never be again.

They'd almost completely erased his personality, leaving Cloud empty and cold.  They had obviously boosted his body to a level similar to Sephiroth's, but now they needed to get him a more Sephiroth-like personality and memories.  Through extensive reconditioning, they had managed to get C acting a little like Sephiroth, though Hojo was evidently still most displeased with their progress.  But it was during the 'sessions' that C got the memories he needed.

The first time, Zack had been shocked and delighted to be able to touch Cloud, to talk to him for the first time in…a looong time.  Better still, they were both out of the cells at the same time, and Zack was already turning over possible escape plans in his head.  But they'd both been securely restrained, and Cloud hadn't spoken to him at all.  After a few minutes or so of lying there, skin-to-skin and cold, Zack became aware of a burning sensation where Cloud touched him.  Not the warmth of another being, but the burn of hot-cold Mako.  It had spread insidiously through his body and up his spine and into his brain.  His sight had been overtaken by blinding white, and for just a moment, Zack remembered standing in a little park in Junon with Sephiroth, back when they'd been lovers, staring at the smile on Sephiroth's face.  He'd distantly heard Cloud cry out, then he passed out.

When he awoke, they were back in their cells.  Seeing his movement, Cloud had turned to look at him—a rare occurrence of late—and smiled.

Sephiroth's smile.

Zack had read the words from Cloud's lips—a talent he was thankfully mastering at last.  "Don't worry, Zack.  We'll get you out if here."  Zack's mind had helpfully played Sephiroth's voice over Cloud's mouth-movements, and Zack had been unsettled enough to turn away and refuse to look at the blond until their next meal.  By that time, Cloud had returned to his apathetic unresponsiveness.

Holy, had the day really come when Zack was grateful his friend was a walking vegetable?

This time was as bad as the previous times.  The burning came more quickly, these days, and spread much faster, and the snatches of memory he took now ran into whole days of events.  Zack was just happy C seemed to be copying them, not taking them; if he had to forget as C learned his new identity, he'd have gone insane by now.

This time, though, was remarkable, simply because Zack consciously recalled a certain handful of memories for Cloud to have.  First he remembered one time when the three of them had been hanging out together at home, and Zack had watched from the other side of the room as Sephiroth and Cloud got all over each other.  He was hoping to jog Cloud's memory of the incident from his own perspective.  Then he recalled their first meeting—an event Sephiroth hadn't even been present for.

Against his chest, C jerked when the memories slammed into him.  The confusion that had tingled in his brain for a long time now, that had been receding as he remembered who he was, slammed back into him full force.

He didn't know who he was.

He'd thought he was Sephiroth.  But then…how could he remember something when he wasn't present to experience it?  And who was the blond he'd obviously at least wanted to bed?  Zack had been there, but hadn't he and Zack…?

C was still trying to sort out the implications when they were tossed back into their cells, Zack only partially conscious.  He stared at his friend—lover?—for long moments while his mind turned things over.  The memories were sharper, clearer when he was with Zack, but this time instead of a few precious minutes of supreme clarity, he was left with a mess in his head like none he had ever encountered before.

How was it possible for him to be unable to remember with certainty something as fundamental as his name?

Gazing into the other cell, C suddenly got a faint reflection off the transparent wall he was staring through.  C discovered he couldn't remember his own face.  He shifted, and focused his eyes on the clear surface instead of through it.  The ghostly image of dark-gold hair cut very close, a beard the same shade, and blue-violet eyes stared back at him.  It was all wrong—he **knew** he had white hair and green eyes, or was that black with light-blue?—but it was also very familiar.

The blond in the flashback.  The boy-man he had…loved?  But how…?

Frustrated, C pounded his fists against the side of his clear cell.  "Dammit, who am I?"  His voice rose to a shout.  "Who **am I?!?!?!**"

Hojo, elsewhere in the lab, looked up.  His cells were only one-way soundproof; he liked to be able to hear everything his sometimes unstable subjects said.  Now he rose and shambled over to the specimen tanks.  After only a few minutes, he sighed and shook his head, taking out a note-pad.

"'Specimen C: failure,'" he wrote. Then smirked and shrugged.  "Oh, well.  We can try again.  He was rather close to success.  Let's give it another go, shall we, C?  Have to wipe you clean again, I suppose."

Then he bobbed off into a different part of the lab, happy enough to let C suffer his little identity crisis.  His psychic pain would only make him easier to break.  Besides, it had been a long time since C had been responsive enough to scream.  Maybe the next few months of reconditioning wouldn't be so bad after all.

*

Zack watched as Cloud laboriously scratch, scratch, scratched at the beaker he held.  He was so weak, he could barely hold it, barely scratch, barely keep his eyes open and head up to see what he was doing.  It was a moment between 'treatments,' so they were no longer bobbing up and down in the Mako their little cells were filled with so much of the time.  But it pained him to see Cloud so weak.  He had what seemed to be the mother of all Mako-poisoning cases, couldn't seem to utter any sound beyond a groan, though Zack could only tell because no lip-reading could be done.

Zack was glad for the respite, though.  In these precious moments between rounds of torture, Mako, Jenova cells, and psychological reconditioning, he could see a glimmer of his old friend.  The determination in him, even if it was a bit unfocused and mindless, was reassuring, though it probably should not have been.  Zack had to wonder how much of the behavior Cloud displayed was really Cloud, and how much was him in disguise.

The beaker would eventually make it to his cell so its message could be read, then he could make his reply.  It was a very slow way of communicating, but Zack didn't care.  It worked, and no one thought to check for faint little scratches in the glass of beakers and test-tubes.  They could only make the faintest of marks, anyway, usually not a scratch in the glass so much as the powdered remains of a fingernail.  Zack was always so glad to get a message from Cloud, though.  His new ability to lip-read had little use with Cloud, and Cloud so often forgot the signs of the basic sign language they had developed while in captivity, that Zack found he really missed his friend.

How odd it seemed to have his best friend buck naked within reaching distance and still be missing him.  After however many years it had been, Zack thought he should be used to it by now, but every day he was smacked in the face by the sheer wrongness of the situation.  Sometimes, when he was mostly certain the lab was empty, Zack turned his back to Cloud and cried.  He knew there was no shame in tears, but Cloud needed him to be strong, so he dared show no weakness when he could not readily explain it away.

Zack stretched his legs out on the bottom of his cell, allowing the kinks to work themselves out even as he let his mind grow unfocused.  He really wanted out of here.  A big part of it was for Cloud's sake, and that worried him.  He knew he was placing far too much importance on Cloud's continued survival, more than was wise or healthy in the best of times, never mind when either of them could die any time now.  But his desire to escape was by no means entirely unselfish.  

Zack was sick of being cooped up in here.  He hadn't lost as much muscle tone as he'd expected, but it was still enough to be worrisome.  Zack knew that with his lack of exercise, it was only the Mako that was keeping him even remotely fit, and that he had probably lost a great deal of his flexibility.  He'd started out trying to keep moving when possible, but it was rather difficult to do when floating in a searing sea of liquid Mako, breathing it in, coughing it up, feeling his skin blister and heal simultaneously at its touch.  He was mostly over his first bout of the sickness Mako brought with it, but those first days had been horrible, filled with convulsions and seizures and begging the Planet to just let him die cleanly.

He was lucky the SOLDIER scientists had expected such reactions for at least some of their inductees, because he'd done the same thing when he'd had his initial exposure.  He was a bit sensitive to the stuff, at least in body.  He'd never experienced the paranoid schizophrenic attacks so many other SOLDIERs went through.

Like Cloud seemed to be.  Zack was beginning to doubt it was all in the heads of those who had them, though.  After all, he had Sephiroth visiting him occasionally, though the visits seemed to get further and further apart, and in the next cell, Cloud had jabbered on and on at no visible target almost nonstop before he had lost the ability to form words and coherent sentences.

Zack sighed and leaned back against the cell wall, dreaming of the day they'd eventually escape.  He knew it had to happen eventually.  He wouldn't be held down, and Cloud being programmed with his personality and what parts of Sephiroth's Hojo could scrape together meant the blond wasn't likely to stay around for long either.  It amazed Zack how far Cloud had come personality-wise in the last couple rounds of treatment.  He still had a gaping void where his memories ought to have been, but he had **personality, now.  Before all this, Zack thought it was impossible to have a complex personality without memory, but somehow Cloud was managing.  Maybe because his memory was still there, just repressed?**

Zack hoped so.  He took it as proof the other man was still there, somewhere.

*

Zack remained relaxed, years and years of training in SOLDIER enabling him to do so even under circumstances in which most people would be taut as a bow string.  He watched through half-lidded eyes as one of Hojo's lackeys came in, bearing a tray laden with 'food.'  He was working very hard to keep himself from betraying his intent.  If he could not manage to pull off this escape attempt, he was **not coming back here.  A part of him cursed him for a coward and a traitor for not staying with Cloud, but he really didn't care, anymore.  He was **never** coming back here, and he had a feeling that, if he offered Cloud a similar out, the blond would take the opportunity gratefully.**

Zack let himself collapse limply as the Mako buoying him was drained away.  He feigned just enough weakness to appear harmless, and not so much that the jumpy underling would suspect he was up to something.  The man opened the cell door and grabbed the bit of food that was Zack's…then gasped as he was struck **hard** in the face by one of Zack's hard fists.  He went out like a light.

Stepping out of his cell, Zack quickly let Cloud out of his.  The Mako in Cloud's cell was kept much warmer than in his own and steamed in the cold air of the lab.  Cloud collapsed limply into the space just beyond the cell door.  He struggled to lift his head, and when he did there was a faint smile on his face.  He was aware of his freedom, at least, although he was very obviously zoning out more by the minute.  Zack rolled him into a more comfortable position, then cut quickly to the other side of the room.  When their clothes had been taken from them, Zack had taken careful notice of where they went.  When they had been moved to this second lab, he had noted where he thought they had put their belongings.

Zack was not disappointed.  He pulled open a drawer and found his clothes folded neatly within; inside another, Cloud's clothes.  Everything was folded neatly, placed in plastic bags, and labeled like something in a police lab.

Great, now he'd be thinking of things in terms of labs for the rest of his life.

Zack dressed quickly, then padded over to Cloud.  He managed to get the blond dressed, despite the fact that he was doing practically nothing to help, although his eyes said he really wanted to.  He had to dress Cloud in one of his old uniforms, since none of his own clothes fit anymore.  Zack felt infinitely better once he had Buster Sword on his back, his armor on his shoulders, and his bangles on his arms.  He also decked Cloud out in what he had.  Cloud surprised him by rousing from his near catatonia to snatch a thin chain from his grasp, looping it around his neck in the blink of an eye.

Zack's lip trembled when he saw that the chain held the engagement ring Sephiroth had given Cloud so long ago.  Then tears really escaped when he saw the confusion on Cloud's face—he didn't even know why he felt compelled to grab it.

Zack hefted Cloud up, allowing him to lean heavily on him.  It was unfortunate but true that Cloud would never be able to escape as he was without a great deal of assistance.  Zack had noticed that the first thing to give out when Cloud was Mako-poisoned was his legs.  Or rather, his spine down to his legs.  Apparently, the Jenova cells that had repaired Cloud's spinal cord had fits when exposed to such high concentrations of Mako, which didn't make sense to Zack, since the things usually seemed to thrive on Mako, but he figured Cloud would have an explanation or at least a theory when he woke up.

Assuming that was still Cloud in there.

Zack snorted to himself and shoved those thoughts aside.  He felt like a traitor for not believing in Cloud, but this whole Mako/Jenova/Hojo/Sephiroth/lab-rat thing had left him badly shaken.  He wanted to hope that the personality inside that blond head was still mostly Cloud, but a whole lot of time being tortured and watching evidence to the contrary accumulate had left Zack with a surprisingly pessimistic outlook on life.  Sephiroth and Aeris would never recognize him, now.  Although, Sephiroth was dead—probably, despite his vivid dreams—and a pretty girl like Aeris just didn't wait around forever for a loser like him.

Zack wondered, not for the first time, whether a bit of that memory/personality transference stuff worked in reverse.  He was starting to sound a little like Cloud, at least in the privacy of his own mind.  Come to think of it, Sephiroth had spent a long time convinced he was nothing special, too.

Zack pushed his dark thoughts aside.  Right now, he had to focus on getting them out of here.  Hojo seemed to be away—he spent less and less time with them, apparently having better specimens to work with, now (thank Holy)—but there were still guards, monsters let loose solely for the purpose of keeping any projects from escaping, more lackeys, and who knew what else lurking around this place.

"C'mon, Spike.  Time to un-ass the A.O." he murmured to Cloud.  Cloud made no response, only wheezing slow breaths into the stillness of the lab.

Zack pulled Cloud out of the room and into—surprise—a cave.  He could hear faint moans and the scrabble of claws on stone, so he tried to get through there as fast as he could.  He didn't want to have to put Cloud down to fight, especially since he had no idea what was down here, now.  Before, it had been the roaches and a tiny colony of bug-eating bats that had been trapped down here when the Mansion was built atop their cave.  Now, there could be dragons here, for all he knew, and Cloud was depending on him to escape.

After laboriously dragging Cloud up that huuuuuuge spiral staircase, Zack emerged into the Nibelheim Shinra Mansion.  Zack was growing confused; hadn't all of this burned?  Admittedly, Hojo was twisted enough to make a replica of a place in which they were imprisoned, but wasn't this overkill?

Zack crept quietly across the wooden floors, wincing when floorboards creaked under his feet—in the exact places they had before the Mansion burned.  He got glimpses of strange monsters throughout the building, and spent much of the time ducking behind walls and furniture to keep from being seen.  Incredibly, he made it out of the house…

And into the town of Nibelheim.

Zack almost dropped Cloud.  The whole place was **perfect**, not a thing to indicate that the last time they'd seen it, it had been ash, charcoal, and burning timbers.  The fences were the same, the shingles were the same, the bricks were the same…  It was almost as if all the horrific events that had taken place here had been nothing but a nightmare.  Any moment now, he'd wake up, find himself dozing off someplace and Sephiroth giving him the half-amused, half-disapproving look, before going back to trying to coax Cloud into a PDA.

Zack smiled wistfully.  It was a nice thought, but the pain of the past few years had been far too immediate for any kind of dream.

Dragging Cloud across the whole town was definitely not easy, and he got the feeling he was being watched the whole time.  Ghostly sightings from the corner of his eye of faces in the windows, hearing doors and shutters quickly shut, muffled voices echoing emptily in the streets—all of these assaulted his senses and professional paranoia kicked in.  Zack would not let it be paranoia of any other sort.  'Nibelheim' was obviously populated, evidently with people who had been told not to interact with experiments.  If they knew that much, though, it was likely they were also told to notify Shinra should any experiments escape.

Zack poured on the steam.  He didn't want to be caught by Shinra or Hojo's goons.  Ordinarily, he could have taken the lot of them easily, but after months of under-nourishment, lack of exercise, and recent Mako poisoning, he doubted he could take a small dog, never mind a soldier.  Zack could feel his uniform hanging on his frame, just a bit looser than it should have been.  Hell, Cloud fit better in his borrowed clothes than he did.

It took days to get far enough from 'Nibelheim' for him to relax.  They camped on the bare earth, hiding in little depressions or caves, or under rocks or roots.  He spent much of those days awake, since Cloud could hardly keep any sort of watch.  Cloud was still extremely ill and Zack had to take care of him.  He forced water down his throat, made him drink the thin broth he managed to make of a small rabbit-like animal he'd caught the second day.  He himself ate some of the meat, and was amazed by how good plain, half-cooked flesh could taste after years on the runny gruel, nutrient bars, and intravenous supplements Hojo had supplied them.

About the fourth day, they ran across a road running toward Cosmo Canyon.  Zack had bent his steps that way to begin with, and now he had proof they were going the right way.  A day later, they encountered an oldish man in his beat-up pickup.  Zack managed to secure them a ride.

As the glorious red buttes of the Cosmo Canyon area ran past, Zack sat with Cloud in the back of the pickup, soaking up the sunlight and talking about anything and everything.  He sang to him and told him about Gongaga—again—and made plans for the future.  It was just the two of them left, now; no Sephiroth, probably no Aeris.  Zack still wanted to go to Midgar, maybe see Aeris, but also because the Midgar hospitals were good with Mako poisoning.  He would have liked to make Mideel—they were rumored to have the best doctors anywhere—but he didn't exactly carry an airship with him everywhere.  He was kind of worried at the idea of walking into Shinra central, but they would be fine.

The old man driving was entertaining, telling them to get out and try everything.  He didn't know anything about SOLDIER or Mako experiments or anything else, or he would have realized that Zack had experienced more of the world than he'd ever wanted to.  Zack tried to think up an occupation that was close enough to soldiering for he and Cloud to understand and be good at, but different enough that they wouldn't be constantly reminded of all that happened and all they lost.

The old man was shocked that he would settle on something like being a pair of mercenaries, and tried to talk 'sense' into Zack, but he would hear none of it.  Zack sat down by Cloud, gathered him in his arms, and promised he wouldn't leave him.

"I wouldn't leave you hanging like that.  We're friends, right?"

Cloud shivered miserably, still too weak to make any coherent reply, but he managed to shift his weak body deeper into Zack's embrace.  Zack sighed and buried his nose in Cloud's hair.  He still reeked of Mako, but his own scent was starting to overpower it's fading odor, and Zack took comfort in the scent.  It brought to mind comforting memories of nights spent with the three of them curled comfortably together, innocently, sometimes, or other times not.

The warmth of the sun and the body in his arms lulled Zack into much-needed sleep.

*

Cloud felt the ache of muscles subjected to micro-seizures for far too long, and the pounding of a head full of voices and liquid energy.  The effects of his Mako poisoning were only now becoming almost manageable, and he could turn his awareness outside himself at last.  He remembered chunks of their escape.  From the feel of his head bobbing limply in time with Zack's stride and his arms supporting him, they seemed to still be free.

Something was wrong, though.  Zack seemed to be moving pretty fast, burdened as he was with Cloud's weight.  Unintentionally, Cloud reached out with his Jenova-enhanced senses and skimmed recent memories from the surface of Zack's mind.  He was suddenly filled with the knowledge that they were being pursued.  Zack had been spotted by a squad of Shinra troops, who had immediately given chase.  Apparently, they knew to be looking out for them—they must still be interesting enough that Hojo wanted them back.

**Fuck that.**

Cloud felt Zack stop suddenly, then he was face down on the ground.  He could smell Mako and pollution and he knew immediately that they were near Midgar.  He tried to make his limbs respond to directives to push himself up, to help Zack, but the most he could manage was to lift his head, shudder, and moan.

He heard Zack's heavy boots clunking on the ground as he ran back to face their enemy.  Cloud knew Zack would **not** let himself be taken again.  He heard the distinctive sound of Buster Sword cutting through armor, flesh, weaponry.  There was the sound of gunfire—probably one of Scarlet's newer model Mako rifles, since he didn't recognize the sound of it.  Then Zack's running steps again, as he fell back to Cloud's position to defend him.

Gunfire close by sounded in his ears, and he heard Zack's pain-filled grunt.  His only half-focused vision showed Zack catapulted across the dirt and rock by the impact of those deadly bullets.  Brilliant, faintly glowing blood blossomed like flowers across his chest and belly, and he didn't get up once he hit the ground.  Standard issue Shinra boots marched across his field of vision, resolving into an officer and two troopers of the Shinra Regular Army.  One trooper leveled his gun—indeed a new model—at Zack, and fired two bursts into his chest and face.

Obviously, they were not good enough for recapture, only good enough for disposal.  Cloud mentally cursed Hojo as colorfully and creatively as his scrambled mind would allow.

Then the murderers were coming toward him and he did his best to seem a target, hoping they would send him after Zack, but they disregarded him.  They thought he was on the verge of death anyway, so they were going to just let him die out here, all alone.

Cloud vowed he would someday make them regret that.

He lay there for a while, he was not sure how long, but when the rain started to fall, it was like a signal.  Suddenly, Cloud could raise his head, lift an arm, and belly crawl toward Zack.  His legs seemed to be utterly useless, still, but that would not stop him.  He managed to balance himself on his knees, his legs folded awkwardly beneath him, as he stared into the ruin of Zack's beloved face.  His eyes were undamaged and stared up at the sky, unblinking when the rain poured into them.  There was a faint Mako glow that would remain for several hours before dissipating, but the soul in them was gone.

**Zack was gone.**

Cloud's hand moved to the hilt of Zack's fallen sword.  He hefted it in hands made strong by rage and despair and stared out across the Midgar Valley.  Had they really been that close?  Had they been so close to the freedom of being able to lose themselves in the press of humanity that Midgar was so full of?  And now it was snatched so brutally away from Zack, leaving him alone in the world, barely able to function on his own.

Sanity was slipping, and Cloud could feel it.  He clung desperately to it, feeling memory slip instead as Jenova used his weakness to purge him of those memories she didn't want him to have.  Surprisingly, Cloud had no problem with that.  Not knowing Zack, or Sephiroth, or what had happened in the past years would only help him to maintain his stability.  Perhaps it was doing all three of them a disservice, but, in that moment Cloud really wanted to forget.

Be careful what you wish for, Cloud…

~Fin

All right!!!!!!  That's it for _CAN!  After almost two years of work, at last, this fic is done!  Aah, but that's not all there is to the story!  Be on the look out for _All You Can Know_, my tentatively-titled sequel to __CAN!_

Yeah, I took a number of liberties with flashback events.  This really isn't news if you've been reading.  I just think everything Cloud's remembered is suspect, may not have happened, or maybe happened differently.

Yes, all you Zack fans, I did kill him.  I'm sorry.  But look for _AYCK, coming soon!  You may be surprised….  Zack, Sephiroth, Aeris, the Turks—especially Reno, many of my own characters, and a chunk of the rest of the FFVII cast will be featured.  The rebuilding of the Planet and poor Cloud's confused head!  I'm so excited, I just can't wait!  Please, please, **please look for it!**_


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